Bursting out of my cocoon

As dawn rises, a beautiful butterfly could hear bustling noises from the street and chipping of the birds from the trees. It was happily fluttering its wings around the garden. Before the butterfly can enjoy its freedom, it needs to go through a metamorphosis. During its life cycle, a butterfly undergoes several changes in body form and appearance. The four stages of this metamorphosis are: egg, caterpillar, pupa, and butterfly. In the 3rd stage, the caterpillar needs to spin itself into a soft and silky cocoon to protect its pupa. Pupation may last weeks, months or even years. Make a guess what will it do before it transforms? Before I provide you with the answer, let me share my story with you. I was an introvert since young. During my childhood days, I have developed a mindset that is; “Talk less, listen more”. Being an introvert, I listen more than I speak. I was timid and scared to speak up. There were times because of my character, I was misunderstood and for the worse, I was blamed for things that I never done. I realised that it is time for me to be heard.

An opportunity came along. I saw Singapore Polytechnic’s eFlyer introducing Toastmasters. Out of curiosity, I attended one of the introductory workshops. The proficient speakers were not only speaking effectively but also inspiring people around them. The charisma within them got me interested to find out more. Deep in my heart, I knew that this is the skill I want to learn.

There is an old saying; “The FIRST step is always the toughest.” I stumbled when I made my first maiden speech in the basic manual project. My hands were shaking and my voice was cracking. I heard voices, felt my fears and was perspiring as I spoke. The inner struggle within me was a big challenge for me. However, each time I fall, I pick myself up and try again. I kept telling myself that as long as I do not give up, I am sure even the most incompetent speaker like me will be able to master the speaking skills one day. The word “Failure” never crossed my mind. I just knew that I have not mastered the skill yet. Whenever I make mistakes, I will change as I learned; it gave me motivation and confidence to speak up more.

After a few years in Toastmasters, I have slowly walked out of my own cocoon, built my self-confidence and spoke with conviction. Toastmasters has made me understood the importance of people connections besides learning how to speak and listen effectively. By taking up different EXCO roles, it allows me to learn leadership and interpersonal skills as well. I was required to interact with a lot of people, getting contacts from them, arrange meetings etc to ensure the meetings were carried out smoothly each time. All these tasks are the learning blocks for me to understand and develop my skills. I kept in mind that struggling is an essential part of my growth experience. In fact, it is the struggle that causes me to develop my ability to communicate better.

I strived to apply what I learnt in Toastmasters in each day of my life. I have changed my negative thoughts into positive ones by changing “Why me?” into “How to do it” mindset. It makes me happier as a person. I am not only able to communicate and connect with my family and friends better these days but also I have widened my circle of friends now.

Here is the answer to my earlier question. Before the caterpillar could transform into a butterfly, it is supposed to STRUGGLE. The pupa’s struggle helps the butterfly to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon which in turn pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never be able to break free from the cocoon it has created and fly into freedom.

I have seen myself just like a caterpillar undergoing a metamorphosis over a period of time. Some people need weeks, months or even years to be transformed. It does not matter how long one person would need to transform as long as that person allows himself to break through the struggle. That person will be able to fly like the butterfly that he wish to be. Toastmasters journey is a learning ground equipping me with a pair of stronger wings…

Rachel Won
Club President of SPTMC 2009/10
Written in April 2010

Day 290: 42km Run

Before 42km I haven't been exercising on my own for a few months. My body is showing signs that if I continue to ignore the symptoms, I will get bigger health issues in future...

Excuses
Too busy
Too early to wake up
Too late to wake up
Not the right timing
Body is feeling tired
Plain laziness

Motivation
Self love and self care


Sometimes I just need 1 good reason to get myself out of my house.
#42km #MoonlightRun #TranscendMyself
After
Yay! I completed 42km in 9 runs. Thanks Lay Eng for encouraging me to sign up for Moonlight blessings run in Dec 2021.

As I want to push my own boundaries, I set 42km as my target. It is my own commitment, instill my own self discipline and give myself some self care and me time.

I almost thought that I was unable to complete this run at all, but lay eng told me it is possible to complete it as there were 14 days more to go. Thanks for the encouragement and give me some assurance that it can be done.

It was challenging in the beginning, my mind keeps telling me there is no time for me to complete it. However, my mind stopped sabotaging me when I met my 21km mark...

Note to self: Choose to believe my end goal and I will get it done eventually.
#42Run #FunExercise #MoonlightBlessingsRun2021 #1HourCommitment

Day 289: KMovie: 200 Pound Beauty

Rewatch 200 pound beauty, as I have forgotten the plot totally. I love the back and forth of comedic and serious moments in this movie. They’re well managed and sprinkled at the perfect moments.

Hanna is a great example that we continue to live in a judgmental society. Unfortunately, money still matters. People rather see a no talent pretty girl in a skimpy outfit walking around a stage because that’s what sells, not an overweight girl with natural singing talent.

This movie is a good reminder to stay true to ourselves. Feeling like she exhausted all options, Hanna changed herself to be more accepted by society, but only to lose her own identity. She felt like she was living a deceitful life, fooling others to think she is the perfect girl. It goes to show we should stop trying to impress others when we should be loving ourselves.

Even if we’re in an advantageous position, don’t bully others or bring them down even more. We never know what other people are going through. Be kind.

It also reminded me that self love is important, when we know who we are, there's no fear and all the resources that we need are within our reach. #200PoundBeauty