I found my answers in Buddhism. At age of 33, I decided to be a Buddhist, to practise the Buddha’s teachings. How to be a good being and help the people around me, while I continue to cultivate my own character and values.
Family Practise
In my family, we practised the Taoism way where we pray to ancestors and we also practise the Buddhism way, where my mum prays to Bodhisattvas and my sister pray to the Buddha but they don’t study the Dharma. They try to be a good human in this life. We have a Guan Shi Yin, Goddess of Compassion Statue in my living room, where my mum will pray for us every day to ensure our well-being and work is smooth and good.
As I mentioned, my family pray to my ancestors, so during my grandparent’s death dates, month of Tomb Sweeping Day and Lunar month of July, we will pray to the deceased for peace and may they reborn at a better place.
In the past, I felt uncomfortable and I didn’t understand why do we have to pray and hold the joss sticks and make the place so messy, pollute the environment and do a lot of praying preparation for people who have passed on. But now I understand. To pray to our ancestors is to acknowledge their contribution and to appreciate what they have done for us. It is based on love and respect for them, and the belief that they have a continued existence. It cultivates filial piety and family loyalty, and motivates people to continue the family traditions.
As these practise are still Chinese tradition, I try to educate my parents to pray vegetarian food, burn less offerings as they don’t need them so that my ancestors can get more merits than demerits.
My Own Practise and Reading Spiritual Books
As I am the only “official” Buddhist in my family, I practise the tradition way of Buddhism. My main practices are meditation, sutra calligraphy and reciting heart sutra. Most of the time, I do it alone but at times when I attend the retreat, it will be in groups, not more than 50 people. There are benefits in doing alone, I can do whenever I feel that I need to do, for group retreat, you can sense the energy is stronger and calmer, lesser distractions.
Sometimes I went to Brahm Centre for mindfulness retreat. They embrace all kinds of religions. We are open to share our practise and it is non religion. I think it is very comfortable and safe space to practise spirituality. There is no judgement on other faiths.
I have many spiritual teachers in my life. I read many spiritual books. Before I become a buddhist, I read Dr. Wayne Dyer, change your thought, change your life and Louise L. Hay, You can heal your life. Ven Thubten Chodron, Tibetian nun, Transforming our daily activities, Ajahn Brahm, Opening the door of your heart. I started to read Ven Master Hsing Yun books, I decided I want to become a Buddhist in this lifetime.
What Spirituality means to me
Spirituality encompasses all beings, there is no need to judge who is better and wiser. At the end of the day, all beings want to be enlightened from our own practise.
As I mentioned, I felt very lost when I was 30s. I don’t know where my life will bring me. After 9 years of Buddhism practise, I feel supported and guided. To me, Buddhism is a way of life. How to live in the present moment.
Here are some of the questions I will ask myself from time to time.
- How can I love and grow myself mentally and spiritually?
- How can I free from my own mental and life suffering?
- How can I be wiser as I age and support others at the same time?
I used to wait for things to happen. I have been waiting all my life. Waiting for the "perfect" moment. Obviously, it didn't happen. It is an illusion that I had.
Today, I choose to take my own spiritual path that I have faith in. I am imperfect but
I am perfectly alright to take the actions that I need.
The answers are in the moments.
How might I 'be that one' today?
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