I went to listen to Ajahn Brahm talk, he share with us the wisdom on love. How to love a person in a right way? Many people think that they know how to love. They know what love really is. But in the end, they are hurting the ones they love and including themselves. It's not about selfless love, it's not about loving yourself but it's about us loving one another.
He said in a humorous way:
"If you are wrong, say u are sorry. If you are correct, shut up."
He shared with us a woman is abused by her husband. When he hit her, she let it go. When her husband did something good, she appreciates his gesture. This is called "positive forgiveness". It took her 7 long years to change a violent monster into a loving husband and dad. Without a strong commitment, faith, love and compassion, not many people can go through these trials of life.
He said all of us are wonderful people. During the heated fight, we are looking at the 2 bad bricks instead of 98 good bricks and it will mislead us into wrong perceptions. Sometimes our negative experiences and thoughts will mislead us into believing something negatives and thus it will mislead us into wrong judgement.
A guy asked him what happens if there a couple realise that they are not compatible at all after so many years. He simply replied, "There must be something that attracted to both of you in the first place. When Love is not there, it is just hiding somewhere and you have to find it yourself. If you find it hard enough, you will find what you want. You give up because you dont want to find it anymore."
Love is receiving, giving and loving.
It's always easy to say than done. We will have to practice day after day, weeks after weeks and years after years.
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