15 August, 2021

Day 260: GAB 2 Family Self Reflection

My immediate family is small to begin with, consist my parents and 1 sibling. My mum has a strong mind of her own, she will make most of the family decisions at home and we will follow.

The closest relationship I have is My sister. We used to fight and screamed a lot with each other during our childhood but we became a lot closer after she got married. She has become my best friend, after we cleared our childhood misunderstanding and we share a lot what is happening in our life, especially Ting Ting has become our bundle of joy now.

The most distant relationship I felt is with my dad, I don’t really know how to communicate with him. Most of the time, he just asked me to do his things. That is the relationship / connection with him.

For my 2 family role models, my mum is the active one and sociable and she talks and nags a lot. Because she is sociable, she has many friends. My dad is hardworking, he is a quiet man he likes to do things to show that he cares. Most of the time he got misunderstood because he can’t express himself well, I sort of model him and my sister model my mum.

As my family lack of communication, we do our own things. As a child, I don’t feel loved and supported by my family. We don’t connect emotionally.

Family Rules
Talking about family rules, there are a lot. I need to report to her where I go and I need to reach home before 10pm. If I am at home, dinner will be at 7pm. Last time my mum will nit-pick whatever things that I do. It is always not good enough for her and I felt hurt. My mum talks super loudly at home. Sometimes it is unbearable. She will say we need to worry if she doesn’t speak loud enough! That is partly why I didn't like to stay at home, to stay out of her viewing area, to be away from her nags.

My mum, dictates her way and now my sister, because she models my mum, and she became a mother, her character somewhat becomes more and more like her and sometimes, I feels that I have 2 mums at home.

Family Hero
My grandfather (father side), how he runs his coffeeshop and take care of 10 children, 5 boys and 5 girls, send them to university. He doesn’t look down on women, he feels that all children need to have equal education. My dad learns the good values from my grandparents, especially my grandfather. That is why my dad supports me when I told him I want to study and upgrade myself.

We don’t have any family’s philosophy of life. I think probably unspoken one will be we strive to be a good person. Good family values, keeps us bonded. Of course, I have grown up, I understand where the house rules coming from, my mum fearing that my sister and I from straying, which we never did! The need to keep the environment clean so that it will become a warm, comfortable and cosy place to live in.

Area of improvement for my family
I hope to have better communication and understanding among ourselves. To have the freedom of speech and empathy among family members. After all, we are family, who happens to bond together because love exists.

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