Living with a Zombie

Nur Shahidah and Yuan Ping managed to fight their way through into Area Contest for their club. However, Yuan Ping is not confident about her own script so she asked me to vet through the script that she wrote. She wrote in plain English. After reading it, I could feel her sadness, her anguish, her resentment. I rewrote her entire script based on my feelings and thoughts.

I felt honored when she asked me for help. Since the day I met her, she protrays to be an independent girl. I almost cried with her when she shared her life story with us. Despite her incapability to walk, she never gives in and remains positive towards life. She fought bravely just like any one of us.

I wished her all the best in this Area Contest.

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Living with a Zombie
- Specially dedicated to Yuan Ping's father

311... 350... and 418... Probably you are wondering what these numbers are. These 3 numbers are the block numbers that I have stayed in Woodlands. For the past 22 years, I unable to stand my two little feet on the ground because I was born to be a handicap. I have a wonderful mum who painstakingly brought us up with my 2 brothers and me. Perhaps I may seem different from my brothers but my mum loved us just like we are her precious angels. Those were the happy little days.

My happy days were short-lived. A happy family is destroyed by a man. This man, whom I called him, Father. He never takes good care of us. He never fulfilled the duty of a husband and a father. Gambling dens seems to be his home and our home has turned into his hotel. Horse races, 4D, Toto or anything that he could bet, he will gamble away.

There is a Chinese saying 9 out of 10 times in gambling, you will lose. True enough, either he came back as a "dead" person or he will disappear for a few months until we had paid back the heavy debts that he has left behind. Since young, the whole family has been constantly living in fear. Everyday is like a living hell. Fearing those ruthless loan sharks will come knocking at our door everyday, looking for my father. Despite we had told them, we didn't know where my father has gone to. The loan sharks will just come back to haunt us everyday, just to make sure we pay them back every single cent.

One day, this man finally has the gut to come back just to ask my mum for more money for investing a bigger flat. My mum refused to give in. Unfortunately, she didn't manage to stop him. The huge sum of money ended up in the gambling den and left with another heavier debt. He went into hiding again! The Singapore loan sharks are quite resourceful and manage to track us down. My mum has left with no choice but had to move us from the 1st flat to the 2nd flat and finally the 3rd flat, just to pay for father's astronomic debts.

Just by paying these debts, we had no place to stay. A helpful social worker from Asian Women’s Welfare Association (AWWA) helped us to look for a place and I became one of their clients. I moved from Canossa Convent Children’s Home and Red Cross Home and back to Children’s Home for few months, while the Sister from the Home helped my family to look for a flat to stay.

On the day, when we were moving to our new house, MacPherson Estate, my father appeared out of the blue. He was begging for our forgiveness again. Despite how unwillingly we are to live with this man, my soft hearted mum gave in. The fear continues to haunt us until few years later, he sent to jail because he embezzled with the company’s money. He was in there for few months and after releasing, he went back to jail again.

My mum has ever thought of divorcing with him, but having a thought of the relationship in the past, she forgives and forgives and forgives. One time after another. For this final time, my mum really given up hope on this man and in 2006, my mum filed for a divorce with my father because she cannot forgive him for the hurt that he has created in the family. In 2007, my parents were officially divorced. Although he still lives with us till today, he is just a living zombie.

If you asked me if I will ever forgive this man. I just can't bring myself to forgive this man who brought us so much hurt and betrayal. No, not at this moment. But perhaps one day... I will...