Day 242: Resolving Past Relationships

June theme is Resolving Past Relationships.
As I keep dreaming my Exs, I went to search what are the meaning of these dreams.

It says, "If you dream of past friends or relationships, this shows a longing to be back into that place and time. Perhaps a time which was more innocent or less complicated. Your dreaming mind is trying to tell you that it is time to process the past experiences so that you might be able to stop reliving them over and over again."

Yes, tt is true that I am ready to let go of my past relationships. I am no longer feel the hurt and sadness because I know they are over. I truly want to move on.

I want to feel whole again.

In past, I always feel that I need to share or sacrifice myself for someone.

The truth is, I don't have to do that. I can have win win situation, especially I am healthier now.

Day 241: Health and Money

Just find out a few friends whose health haven't got well after the 2nd phase. It could be emotionally stressed, physically tired, having to work more long hours or even worried about the current situation. For me, it is more for money issues. I guess the more I stress money, the more money won't come to me. I will focus more on myself, improve my wellbeing and take care of my own needs first.

The more we stress ourselves, the more we feel helpless, tired and stuck.

Take a deep breath in...
Breath out...
Tell myself that I am good enough, things will eventually get over it.
Take care!!!

Day 240: Finding my roots, Carefree Day 15

Exercise with Cindy at the Bishan Park today. We have a good catchup. Despite she is my client, she is also my friend. She shared with me her past 30 years of volunteering and 40 years of teaching experiences. She just enjoys helping people to age well. Everytime I meet her, I am sure to learn from her a tip or two about aging and having a fulfilling life.

Cindy shares with me her new programme on a guided autobiography.
http://reddotmum.com/2021/07/05/come-join-us-new-programme-offering-at-a-pilot-price/

I always wanted to write my own memoir, on how I live my own life.
It is a good start to go through these 10 sesions and I am curious where it will lead me to.

Day 239: Peak Performance

Day 238: Signup for Dharma Exam

Signup for Global Dharma Exam.
https://sites.google.com/blia.org/nabbef/home?authuser=1

Articles to Read
http://books.masterhsingyun.org/

It may seems challenging but now I feel that if I don't study the content, I may not have the time to do it. Might as well, I do it mindfully and willingly.

四种精进
1. 未生恶令不生，- 还没有犯的恶事、恶念，要用智慧去纠正，不让它生起;
2. 已生恶令断除; - 已犯的恶行，要勇敢的忏悔、断除;
3. 未生善令生起，- 好的念头、没有做的善事，要有勇气、力量让它萌芽;
4. 已生善令增长。- 已行的善事、好念，要能保任它，让它成长、茁壮。

意思是说，总之，对于断恶修善的事，必须要精进、勤劳地去做，不能稍有懈怠、放逸的心。

Day 237: Signup for Voice Coaching

I was wondering and imagining, how I feel like to speak confidently in front of 500 people.

I never had such experiences before.

I thought will be really cool to speak off my mind, to express what I feel like saying.

I want to be heard by others.
To speak more purposefully and intentionally.
To get my message across.
To educate people, what I truly know.
To help peope to be better.

I think it is a good start to get a voice coach to change the way I express myself. Looking forward to Christiane coaching :)

Day 236: Change Thoughts, Change Outcomes

［转念］
你不可以改变天气，但你可以改变心情。

昨天，因为打雷，电流跳电，我的工作被影响了，一部分需要重做。当时的我又生气，又无助。

我就上禅绕画。画着，画着，心情变得好多了。处理好自己的情绪后，就重新设计。今天，客户喜欢我帮他做的营销手册, 也算是圆满了。

是乌云还是暂时飘过云？自己决定！
＃禅话禅画 #Mindfulness

Day 235: Closed a deal - Aquila Logic Brochure

I managed to close a deal with Aquila Logic, Kevin to help him to design a corporate brochure. His clients are mostly interior design companies and renovation contractors.

Thanks to Kevin, the brochure turns out well and he and his partner like what I have proposed to them. They pay promptly. Thank you Kevin for engaging my services.

Day 234: $1 Savings

Have you ever wondered how $1 can help you to accumulate some wealth?

I gave up in savings in the past because I just be little small money. I came to realise small money is still money. I can't attract what I don't have.

I re-started savings pattern since Nov 2020. After 6 months of putting in $2 consistently, my happy funds grew to $460. Thank you people who have helped me to contribute to this $1 project. I am so happy and grateful for the money I have accumulated so far and I know it will continue to grow.

It's okay to start small, the key is consistency.

#LifeLessons #WorkInProgress #MoneyWisdom

Day 233: I want to be drugs free, Carefree Day 14

I want to be drugs free! This is a self love and a reminder for myself.

I set an intention on 11 Jan 2021 that I want to be drugs free. On father's day, I cooked tomato vegetable soup. I missed the days, I really eat healthy and my sugar is at healthy range too. Today the Hba1c report comes out, my reading has dropped to 8.0 from 8.4. Although the medication is working for me. I feel that I want to be drugs free. I have been eating slightly healthier. Targeting to reach to 7.0 for next 3 months.

Yeow suggest that I start a smoothies routine every breakfast. Make it a default meal.

• high berry smoothies your default breakfast?

• golden nutmilk your default lunch?

• dinner can be salad, oatmeal, or other stuff

Avocado might be too oily...

Almond is good for me, it helps to lower GL

I think it is doable.
----------------------------

Do u drink Chocolate?
If u do, go dark, no creamer, no sugar..
Sounds good too, A treat to myself

Day 232: KDrama - Her Private Life

Her Private Life is a romantic comedy about an idol fangirl Sung Deok Mi (Park Min Young) who works as a curator at an art museum and tries to hide her fangirl side, but her secret becomes in jeopardy of being exposed after a new director Ryan Gold (Kim Jae Wook) arrives.

Deok Mi has been passionate about her idol for many years. As you watch the drama, Deok-Mi’s apartment is full of stuff that showcases how much she supports and loves her idol, Cha Si-An. Deok Mi created a fan community and updates the latest news and his schedules, follows him whenever possible, and supports him with all her heart.

Deok Mi and Seon Joo (best friend) are both in their 30s, but they are fangirls. Why not? There is nothing strange about it and I'm glad that the writer chose to show a different side of fangirling. I like the fact that this drama chose an older heroine to be the fan leader, which makes me feel that fangirling can be done in a rational way and can be completely normal thing here. I like Seon Joo and Deok Mi friendship was genuine and real. Seon Joo is my favourite character here and I loved their relationship with her husband. And their child was sooo cute!

Deok Mi and Ryan's relationship is so well done and explored through patience, kindness and nurture. Also, their chemistry is just perfect.

What I feel about Her Private Life the overall feeling is similar with What's wrong with Secretary Kim. I think it is partly because the female lead is the same, portray the confident, smart and thoughtful woman image. The drama itself is light hearted, warmth and sweet.

Rating: 8.5/10

Reflection
The main theme of a fangirl is something so close to many of our hearts. I remembered when I had a period of time chasing after Andy Lau. Thank goodness, that it was short lived. I felt it was waste of time, money and efforts and he doesn't even know who I am. Now I think back, I probably needed someone to emulate as a role model during that time. Although I don't idolise him anymore, he is one of the long lived artiste that I ever seen. Needless to say about his good looks, he is also hardworking, care for his fans, set a good example. There is always charismatic about some people, who shine in their own light.

I also like the fact that the setting is at a museum where some artist works are being promoted in this drama. They are pretty cool and nice. I always bothered for the fact that I can't draw well. When I saw Ryan is unable to paint due to his own psychological issues, I feel his pain. Thankfully, he managed to overcome his own pain.

I have a fair amount of pain where during my childhood, despite I put in my best effort, my art teacher gave me a F, my parents commented I drew very ugly. During my time at laselle in my 20s, my art teacher threw my artwork on the floor because she thought that it is not good enough.

Someone ever said,"If you want to overcome your challenge, the joy is on the other side." Therefore, I need to overcome my own psychological pain. Thank you for those harsh words, to make me a much better designer and I acknowledge myself that I am able to draw very well. I am working towards it. It is never too old to purse what I truly love and passionate about.

Day 231: Social media recording week 2

I asked some feedback from my business peers and mentors.

They give me some valuable feedback from the first video.
- About the size of the video
- Lightings
- Background
- Dress code
- The way I speak

I have so much to learn! I am yet to finish the second one, I will try to completed my 2nd social media recording by Monday.

Yes, I did the 2nd video! I feel more comfortable to record my voice than to show up my face.

I will do more visuals on the 3rd video.

Day 230: How to increase productivity in your day

Do you feel tired and unmotivated throughout your day? Here are the top 5 ways to be more productive.

Your morning is really the most important part of your entire day. It sets the tone for what it follows.

The best way to avoid of reduce stress is to start right.
#1 Wake up early
Wake up as early as 5am to tune in to yourself. I call it a self care moment.
This valuable moment connects with yourself fully. Realign your purpose, mission and values. It also helps to train your mind what is important to you right now.

#2 Connect with yourself spiritually
Meditate, do breath work. Be grateful you are alive at this moment. Every breath that we inhale and exhale is the sign of life. The power of now allows us to feel and be In the present moment.

#3 Do not look at your phone
Looking at the phone disconnected with ourselves. It is a distraction for you not to connect with yourself. Put the phone away until you have completed your self care moment, that you are ready to serve others.

#4 Do things that you truly like
Be it exercising, reading, prepare a healthy breakfast for yourself and your love ones. When you are immersing yourself with habits that you truly enjoy, love and care, there is an increase of self love and positivity and energy flows into you naturally.

#5 Plan your day
List out the top 3 things that you will do and complete for the day. If these 3 things are pretty easy to finish, add another 2 more tasks. Do not add more than 5, so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. Perhaps some tasks require 3 days or more to complete, breakdown into small tasks so that you know you are in the right track as you move along.

Set the right tone for the day, by setting your day right, train your mind, your productivity increase naturally.

Photo by Mindspace Studio on Unsplash

Day 229: KDrama - The King: Eternal Monarch

The King: Eternal Monarch is a fantasy K-drama, a fight between good and evil between two parallel universes set in Korea. The other universe has Korea as an empire ruled by a single monarch. This KDrama marks the first show Lee Min Ho is appearing in after his military enlistment. While the show was one of the most anticipated series, it has not lived up to the expectations. Other Starring Kim Go-eun, Woo Do-hwan, Kim Kyung-nam, Jung Eun-chae and Lee Jung-jin.

If you enjoyed fantasy like me, this will most likely be your cup of tea. However, do note that this is slightly more complicated than the other fantasy as it involves time travel, universe travel and space-time gap. Sometimes I just find it too confusing and trying to figure out are they in Republic of Korea or Kingdom of Corea! I do love how they created the monarch world and also where the king was riding on his white horse! Pure imagination!

The cast was doing a good job, there was funny banter, a potential mystery, bromance and, I even managed to feel chemistry between the leads. I liked it and wanted to know more. However, the character development is so bad and the roles are extremely poorly written that I am pretty sure the cast couldn't have saved them even if they tried their best.

Especially when comes to the romance. Albeit slow and full of filler at first, I still hoped it would build to something beautiful but suddenly they rushed it to the point that before ever even letting you feel that they have feelings for each other, the couple already exchanges love confessions, plants a kiss or two on each other and acts like they have been in love for a century. I just feel awkward that the romance with the shots happening either too quickly or too slowly and then BAAMM suddenly, we get romantic moments between our leads confessing their love ever-so desperately. This is a heavy handed attempt to make things thrilling without offering any development or consequences.

I just felt that the product placement in this show is blatant, ridiculously irrelevant and just shoved in your face time and time again. After a point, it feels like you're not watching ads in a drama, you're just watching one big ad with bits and pieces of the drama in between.

Finally, the saving grace of this drama is that it is dressed well in terms of cinematography and costume design. With a budget so high, it is hard NOT to be dressed well. It's money, however, it could've been spent better. This is truly the type of drama that once you finish it, if it disappeared from your life the very next day, you wouldn't be losing out on anything.

Rating: 4/10

Day 228: Signup for IoPT Immersive Program

The Split Psyche after Trauma

I have been in the System of the Heart community for 3 years. This is the moment I feel that I want to understand the theory behind IoPT. I signed up for IoPT Immersive Program, it is a 2 year programme, 12 modules, which includes IoPT theory, faciliation work and healing processes.

What motivates me is if I can't love, trust, protect myself fully, what is the meaning of my life? I am ready and I want to find back myself at a deeper level.

What is IoPT (Identity-Oriented Psychotrauma Therapy)?
The Basics of IoPT (Identity-Oriented Psychotrauma Therapy)
Trauma is a situation in which we feel utterly helpless and overwhelmed and believe we may die. The fight or flight options of a high stress situation are no longer available, instead we freeze and fragment.

Identity-oriented Psychotrauma Therapy, using the Intention Method, facilitates "self encounters", in which we can safely, step by step, disentangle from trans-generational traumatisation.

As a part of us splits off, our Identity is altered. We are no longer fully healthy: we retain a healthy part, but a traumatised part comes into being, is rendered unconscious and a surviving part guards this split. The traumatised part remains at the age it was when the trauma happened. Our surviving self works to distract us from this loss. We are no longer fully present to ourselves or others and may primarily be occupied with surviving behaviours to avoid our unconscious trauma feelings (see opposite). Surviving emotions such as anger, extreme optimism and even depression can also serve to distract us from our real feelings.

Survival behaviours can range from the more socially acceptable distractions such as watching tv, sleeping, playing sport, working hard and shopping, to the potentially destructive tendencies such as OCD, self-harm, eating disorders and even suicide.

Day 227: Leadership Styles

What is the slogan of Toastmasters?
Where leaders are made
That is the essense of Toastmasters, giving a platform to shape leaders.
I was timid and shy before I join Toastmasters. Over 15 years, I was given the opportunity to improve my communication skills and leadership skills. Learning is never ending but I learn to share some learning in leadership styles.

Effective leaders empowers others to accomplish personal goals and contribute to the successful completion of team objectives.

To be an effective leader
1) Provides guidance and constructive feedback
2) Helps others to improve their skills
3) Become a role mode for others to emulate your behaviours

5 Attributes of a Successful Leader
1) EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATOR
Leaders communicates their expectations, goals and plans with others in direct, concise and thoughtful manner.

2) LEADS BY EXAMPLE
Leaders expresses leadership through words and actions. It is not enough to simply tell others what to do. If You can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead others.

3) OPTIMISTIC
It always help to look the brighter side of things. Optimism is the ability to focus on the beneficial side of situations and expect positive outcomes. An optimistic attitude creates the opportunity to overcome obstacles and adversity. We can't control what happen to us but we can repond in a positive way.

4) OPEN-MINDED
Open-mindedness means considering new ideas and viewing situations without bias. Listening to others and incorporating their ideas places value on every member of a team.

5) DEMONSTRATES INTEGRITY
Demonstrates personal integrity by acknowledging and giving credit to others. Personal integrity refers to the ability to be honest and ethical. Integrity builds the trust you need for a strong team and increases the likelihood of accomplishing team goals

Top 3 Leadership styles I have adopted over these few years.
1. Coaching: Having one for one coaching, is the better way to build connection and trust. Going more indepth with the issue that my mentee is facing. I can provide valuable feedback to my mentee.

2. Altruistic: The ability to serve others. Also willing to support and contribute in a community.

3. Democratic: I like to do collaboration work, I asked my team opinions so that I gather their experience and feedback. It can be useful and I can make informed decision.

Share a book
The leader who had no Title, Robin Sharma
Leading Without a Title is the democratization of leadership.

This book shares 4 meaningful stories:
Helper who has Passion in doing her work
Surfer train his Courage to take risks
CEO understand the power of relationship
Teacher who sees people potential

Takeaway message: You don’t need to have a leader title to become a leader, you become a leader the moment you motivate, inspire and move someone to become better.

Day 226: I create my economy, Carefree Day 13

My insight for this week is I create my economy.

Many times I doubt myself a lot. Though I want to improve my health and wealth. I don't really believe in myself.

After talking to a few of my coaches and watch online videos. A lot of people mentioned, when we believe it, we can achieve whatever we want in our life. Most people are focusing what they are lacking in their life. Today, I realised that I need to believe in myself that things are already manifested the way I want it. I am manifesting what I want now.

Reflected in the Past and Now
1. I want to learn swimming and I did.
2. I want to work in a famous ad agency, Satchi and Satchi for 3 years, which I did.
3. I want to work for myself and I did.
4. I want to get a degree in designing and I did.
5. I want to attend a design UX course and I did.

Reflecting in the Now
6. I want to find back myself. I did.
7. I want a healthy body, I am currently working on it.
8. I want to become a teacher, I am a Dharma volunteer teacher now.
9. I want to be in debt free. I am debt free now. Money is flowing to me right now.
    There is abundance in my life. I manage my resources well now.
    Whenever I need money, money is here to support me and I am grateful.
10. I want to share my design knowledge with people, I am creating social media videos
      right now. I speak with confidence and joy. Helping thousands of people to build
      quality brands and websites.
11. I create my own economy.
12. I want to have a landed property of my own.
      Using one of the space is to create my studio. I am working in progress.
13. I want to contribute back to the society, helping the needy, helpless people.
      I understand how it feels without money.

How To manifest the things in your life by Jake Ducey
1. Write down things that you want to attract in your life.
2. To suspend your disbelief.
3. Believe you are worthy to receive.

I understand I need to work on it, taking relevant actions helps me to reach the goals easier. Remember, the clearer my goals are the easier for me to reach my goals.

If tomorrow, I were to die, I have no regrets, because I did whatever I could, to make my dreams come true.

Day 225: Anxiety is real

Does anxiety have an overwhelming pull in your life?

Anxiety is real. Anxiety involves feelings of worry, fear, and apprehension. Anxiety is typically experienced on cognitive, emotional, and physical levels. For instance, when feeling anxious a person may have negative or disturbing thoughts.

On an emotional level, one may feel scared or out-of-control. It is also common to experience severe anxiety through somatic sensations, such as sweating, trembling, or shortness of breath.

These symptoms are common for people who have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

When I feel my own anxiety, I learnt to cope with my feelings of anxiety by using simple methods below.

1. Stop and Breathe
When anxiety flares, take a time out and think about what it is that is making you so nervous. Anxiety is typically experienced as worrying about a future or past event. Simply stopping and breathing can help restore a sense of personal balance and bring you back to the present moment.

2. Figure Out What's Bothering You
Writing in a journal can be a great way to get in touch with your sources of anxiety. If anxious feelings seem to be keeping you up at night, try keeping a journal or notepad next to your bed. Write down all of the things that are bothering you. Talking with a friend can be another way to discover and understand your anxious feelings.

3. Focus On What You Can Change
Replace your fears by changing your attitude about them. For example, stop fearing to lose your job and instead focus on how grateful you are to have a job. Come to work determined to do your best. Instead of fearing your loved one's safety, spend time with them, or express your appreciation of them. With a little practice, you can learn to dump your anxiety and pick up a more positive outlook.

4. Focus on Something Less Anxiety-Provoking
At times, it may be most helpful to simply redirect yourself to focus on something other than your anxiety. You may want to reach out to others, do some work around your home, or engage in an enjoyable activity or hobby. Here are a few ideas of things you can do to thwart off anxiety:

- Do some chores or organizing around the house.
- Engage in a creative activity, such as drawing, painting, or writing.
- Go for a walk or engage in some other form of physical exercise.
- Listen to music.
- Pray or meditate.
- Read a good book or watch a funny movie.

Anxiety is a topic probably people don't want to talk about it or too shy to mention it. When anxiety affects one’s relationships, work performance, and other areas of life, there is potential that these anxious feelings are actually an indication of mental health illness. It may be a good time to seek professional help before it is too late.

You can't heal when you don't want to face it.

Day 224: Social Media Recording Week 1

I completed my 1st social media recording.

It is still not perfect, but it is good enough for me.

The first content is about Customers Value.

5 Tips on how to create value for your customers
1. Showcase your expertise
2. Show your value clearly in various platforms
3. Collect existing customers' feedback
4. Quantify your value with real data
5. Communicate the benefits of your services

Hyder gives me more tips on how improve on my 2nd video.
1. Capture the audience attention in the FIRST 10 Sec.
    Start with more energy in the beginning
2. Give Value immediately.
3. Keep my brand short and sweet.

Next week, I will talk about 5 ways how to capture the value.

Day 223: Bedtime affirmations

Positive affirmation has proven to be effective in increasing self-esteem and reducing depression levels.

I release my negativity, worry, fear, anxiety and stress daily.
I am grateful.
I am in harmony with universe.
I invite quality sleep.
I allow myself to wake up 6am every morning and rest with peace before sleep.
I have done my best for today and I deserved to have a peaceful rest.

Day 222: Driving force

I took 2 Harrison Assessments（HA）in 2017 and 2019 and yesterday was a good insight to know that I was most of the time permissive and when someone stepped on my toes or I became stressed, I becam harsh to myself and others.

Another realisation is that as I was permissive, I don't have my own voice, in the end, I let others decide for me. Be it good or bad. Highly likely as a child, I wasn't given a chance to speak up for myself. I was always put down by my mum or other higher authority, thus I felt that even I speak out what I feel like saying it is of no use.
说了也没用，干脆不说了.

As a mirror, people do not know what I want. As I didn't respond appropriately, they also feel that they can't understand what I truly want. Hence, it is quite easy to create misunderstanding and conflict.

Now I can understand why I want to write about my thoughts and feelings, because that is a way to express myself with the outside world. I want to have harmony, in the end I felt that I need to self sacrifice, in order to create that peace and harmony. That is a wrong perspective.

I used to think self sacrifice and empathy are the same but they are 2 different things. Self sacrifice is meeting the needs of others; but their own needs are not getting met, whereas empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position. We do not need to put ourselves as a disadvantage.

I need to find a way to balance myself by having warmth and empathy with myself and at the same time set healthy boundaries for myself. By setting healthy boundaries for myself so that I can protect myself away from harshness and self sacrifice.

Day 221: Past Relationships

I was quite disturbed by this video. Probably is because I saw how the ex was so attached to the ex-bf and trying to ruin another relationship. Not that I was like that. But I remembered how I refused to release the toxic relationship, probably it was 6 years of relationship that I didn't want to let go. I wasn't happy and yet I didn't want to admit and let go.

This video helped me to think about my past romance, I wasn't happy about them. Memories that I didn't want to face the hurt and the pain. Yet, I continue to let these sad memories to hurt me. Because I seek harmony and longing for love. I hope that if I self scarifice, I will be able to get their love. Unfortunately, love doesn't work this way. After all the hurt, I wasn't able to let go fully. Until recent years, after almost 10 years of self healing, I am willing to face the truth.

As I reflected my past relationships, I realised some of them are toxic and I still hold on to them. Because most of the time, I was pemessive. I didn't draw healthy boundaries for myself. I stopped dating for awhile trying to figure out what truly went wrong. I allow myself to feel my own emotions. There is no rules on how much time I need to heal myself. Everyone is different.

I figured it out now. I wasn't love, protected and seen by parents as a child. They couldn't love me emotionally. When I seek love from outside, it is the same experiences, I attract people who are unable to love me, they used me, treat me like an object. I wasn't protected by them too.

Of course, as I am getting a lot healthier, I can love, protect and truly care for myself. It comes a long, long way. I will learn how to draw healthy boundary for myself.

Any partner who's right for you will add to your life, not fill a void.

Day 220: What I learnt from Empress Ki

After spending one week on KDrama Empress Ki, I feel that I will do some self reflection on what I have learnt from this drama.

1. A thirsty man must dig his own well. If I desire to have a certain outcome, I need to work for it.

2. Practise Tough Love. Nothing comes easy, I put my heart and effort at a right place. Things fall in place.

3. I may get hurt, but I do not get discouraged. I cultivate determination and grit.

4. To win the hearts of people, I need to read people heart. 读懂人心.

5. All the answers are within myself.

6. Challenges are just part and parcel of life.

7. To plan, I also need to execute them and gather the feedback, so that I know what is my next step.

It is really time for me to stop korean dramas for awhile. It is addictive and I can't afford to lose focus on my business and my work.

Day 220: KDrama - The Empress Ki

Let me first give a little background on my liking for Ha Ji Won. Somehow I feel there is gut in her, that makes me want to watch her acting. Secret Garden was my 1st korean drama and still remains my all-time favorite. While it is undeniably Hyun Bin who stole the show in Secret Garden, I realized how much I came to love and respect Gil Ra Im (Ha Ji Won's character). I think she's the only female character I have ever had a girl-crush on. I feel that she can overcome any challenges given to her. So, it was pretty expected of me to pick up Empress Ki eventually.

I spent a week of trip back to historical era. Although I don't watch 50+ episodes dramas easily, I picked one up once in a while if it catches my interest. I started this drama just to watch Ha Ji Won in action again and also because I was in a mood for a historical drama. But honestly, all I was expecting was an overrated drama with a poor, exaggerated plot and brilliant acting. Oh boy, I was wrong.

This drama is based on fictional history of Empress Ki. Well, to be precise drama follows the life of a girl from Koryeo who becomes the most powerful woman of a Yuan Empire and her loves as she is torn between two countires. Empress Ki is undeniably the best drama of 2013. The plot is so well-paced that you won't feel like stopping even for a moment and won't feel like skipping a single scene either. The plot evokes such trouble for all protagonists but yet you sit in relief knowing Ki Seung Nyang is there. Watching, observing, plotting, winning.

Seung Nyang. She is the best thing about this drama. She is behind-the-scene most of the time and she defeats her opponents before they even know who they are up against. The girl has wits and she can plot and fight. She is the perfect one-man army. I haven't seen a more wiser character than her. Coming Wang Yu, he is perfect too, faithful, loyal and undying love for Seung Nyang. From the beginning you know Seung Nyang and Wang Yu aren't meant to be since she's destined to marry the king of Yuan and become Empress Ki. But even then you can't help rooting for him from time to time and falling for his charms and his sincerity towards Seung Nyang.

The King of Yuan isn't someone you can take for granted. Even though he's a bit of a coward and a puppet played by many, he is still very cute and likeable. Honestly I think he's a naive soul stuck in the horrible politics of the palace with no one to rely on and with no option but to fight not just for his throne but his life. I really loved his devotion for Empress Ki in all circumstances. Even till the end of his life, he still hoped to receive her true love.

All supporting actors were simply brilliant and were nowhere beneath the main cast. My personal favorites were El Temur (because I loved seeing him go down!) and his kids (who were utterly mean and vicious). I also loved the servants of Goryeo and all the eunuchs of Yuan. Tal Tal and his uncle were also amazing. Some characters I loved because they acted very well.

I personally preferred the first 20 episodes until episode 23 onwards, the life of Seung Nyang changed 180 degrees. Beause all she wanted is to revenge. Her hatred got over her. What I felt strange was Lady Park was pregnant much earlier than Lady Ki but yet Lady Ki gave birth before Lady Park. Another plot that doesn't make sense is there are many chances to kill Yeom Byung-Soo (One of the vallians) Somehow he just couldn't die until the last episode :P Another scene is that all the nuns in the temple supposed to die, somehow the later part of the episodes, different nuns keep appearing to tell the truth haha :D I didn't like the fact that it has a lot of killing and unjustice in this drama. But I understand how traumatised the era to be, with so much power struggle and monetary gains.

To come to such a high overall score despite the glaring shortcomings of the script, I took the whole picture into consideration. A 51-hours long story that manages to keep the interest alive till the very end is commendable in itself. The visuals are used at its highest, with stunningly beautiful sets, costumes, colours and camera work. From the clothes to palaces and the forests, everything they shot was so beautiful and historically rich. If you are able to suspend belief at times and focus on style and emotional impact, you'll no doubt enjoy Empress Ki as much as I did. The music was great and the production was simply breathtaking.

Coming to the historical significance, many historians complained that the drama portrayed Empress Ki as a national hero where in fact she was a traitor who tried to make her brother sit on Goryeo's throne. The drama has been repeatedly been accused of exaggerating facts and misguiding people (especially young ones, who are not much aware of Empress Ki) into idolizing empress ki. Although I cannot comment on the historical facts, I would ask people to watch this with an open mind, without trying to find empress ki from history in the character of Seung Nyang. She has been frictionize, might not be the same person but the character that has been written is truly worth a watch.

I would recommend this drama to everyone. If you've never watched a 50+ eps drama, this is a good place to start. If you've never watched a historical drama, this is a good place to start. Definitely Ha Ji won's best portrayal so far. She deserved all those Daesang awards she got for this.

Day 219: Courage, Carefree Day 12

Courage: Having the Strength in the face of anxiety, pain or grief.

I wanted to film my own learning and share with the world.

There are so much fear and doubts in me.

Despite of the fear, I will do it anyway.

I believe in myself, I can do it.

I set the timeline 12 weeks to post 12 videos online on youtube and linkedIn.

Day 218: Why vaccination must be stopped - Covid Roadmap

The Great RESET
The govts have the covid roadmap already to begin with. It is not about the covid but it is about the vaccine. The big pharma want to track and control people in a long run. The exercise plan was 2050 and they want to move forward to 2030 so that people do not have to chance to think and reflect,"Is vaccination a right choice for me?"

Vaccine Injury Sites
Local: Truth Warriors

USA:
Another useful website is this https://www.stopworldcontrol.com

Day 217: Why I choose not to be vaccinated

Dr. Peter McCullough said,"It is a needle in every arm. It is not about the covid. It is about the vaccine."

Dr. Peter McCullough has been the world's most prominent and vocal advocate for early outpatient treatment of SARS-CoV-2 (COVID-19) Infection in order to prevent hospitalization and death. On May 19, 2021, he was interviewed regarding his efforts as a treating physician and researcher.
Dr. Peter McCullough Interview

My personal views on why I didn't want to take the vaccines are because there are loopholes in clinical trials.
1) They tested with mostly people who are genuinely healthy.

2) The 3rd phase of testing haven't fully completed yet.

3) They need at least 2 years to see some results. The usual normal vaccines takes at least 10-15 years before the release the safe vaccines.

4) Due to the "emergency covid" situation, the vaccines are not approved by FDA. The govts cannot make it manadatory because these vaccines are still on trial runs.

5) The Govts, mainstream media and doctors have to say that the vaccines are "safe and effective" because they want people to take the vaccines. They don't report deaths and serious side effects of the vaccines.

The mainstream doctors will treat the symptoms one by one if the health issues arise in future that is where your money goes to...

We have to really take care of our own health as no one will be able to take care of us. We only have 1 body.

Day 216: Covid Conseqences

The SG Govts are planning to open up the places. More discrepancies and separations are happening in family and friends and community.

whether Covid is man made or not, it is no longer an important question.

How people are going to move on like this?

Vaccinated people judge unvaccinated people and vice-verse. Where harmony has gone to?

People are pressurised whether to take the vaccines or not. Not because of the Covid is terrible but they are feared to lose their jobs or unable to travel instead. People are least concerned about their own health.

Healthy people runs a higher risks because they are complacent, thinking that covid will never comes to them. Whereas those having chronic illness people took extra care about their health, eat well, exercise, rest well, drink sufficient water, generally take good care of their health.

Be it vaccinated and unvaccinated, we are all victims of those powerful leaders who can choose to dictate us where we can go.

My healthy parts tell me that I need to support and care for myself now.

Day 215: 1st Recording

I started to craft my first online video message on 3rd June and started recording it.
It was quite a disaster.
- The reflection of my glasses that it is hard to see my eyes.
- It was so scripted. It doesn't draw a connection with myself and people who watch it.
- It doesn't come out naturally. I read word for word.
- My body is so stiff and I had a lot of anxiety.
- I teared, it was so hard for me, even though it was just a 2 minute video.

I felt that I need to do this recording.
I need to share my message with the world.
I need to help others to build quality websites and improve their brands.
I need to overcome my own fear and challenges.
I need to show up.

Thanks for Christiane and my sister valuable feedback and thank Hyder and Evelyn for giving me the support that I need.

Day 214: KDrama - Secret Garden

Secret Garden is a rationalizing Cinderella story between Gil Ra-im (Ha Ji-won), a stuntwoman, and Kim Joo-won (Hyun Bin), a high-end department store CEO. Through a misunderstanding while trying to resolve a scandal of his cousin, Oska (Yoon Sang-hyun), a famous singer, Ra-im and Joo-won meet and he finds himself stunned by her coolness. Joo-won does not understand why Ra-im is constantly on his mind, and decides to pursue her. Though she initially is repelled by him, Ra-im gradually starts reciprocating his feelings.

As two different worlds collide, Ra-im and Joo-won gradually learn about each other's worlds. But Joo-won's mother does not want them to love each other. Despite his mother's objections, they get married. Meanwhile, Oska reunites with his first love, Yoon Seul (Kim Sa-rang), who has made a successful directing career for herself. However, Yoon Seul wants nothing to do with Oska, and instead has her eyes set on Joo-won. The story gets even more complicated and dramatic when Ra-im and Joo-won magically start switching bodies.

Reflection
I rewatched this series because I was curious what Hyun Bin, the star of Crash Landing on You, he was in a different role. I am surprised that this drama is already 11 years old, 2010. This is the 2nd time I watched it. I forgot about the storyline totally, I just remembered the fun twist with the woman and the dude switched bodies throughout this story.

Well, although I find Hyun Bin is even better-looking as a more mature man after 10 years later. He was already dashing as a young guy, I like his acting skills and his voice already and I liked him better in this role because his character is more interesting. He gets to act like a total jerk many times, and some of these scenes are really funny, actually, for example when he tries to defend his tacky designer tracksuits. He also laughed and smiled a lot in this role, which suits him a lot. The script was written well and the actors and actresses have such chemistry, such stories always go a long way.

I like this drama because it has a little bit of magical theme, fun twist and humor in it.

Last but not least. I like the final quote from this drama, it goes like this,"
To love is like tending a garden.
Beautiful flowers bloom in your garden,
Cool breezes pass through,
Brilliant sunlight shines down, and
At times, magical rain comes down."

Day 213: When 43 meets 21

I am wondering what if I could meet my 21 years old younger self.
What would I want to tell her? I would probably tell her this.

Younger Rachel,
As you just stepped out into the society, there are a lot of things you will be learning.
Heal your traumas first
- learn how to love yourself again
- learn how to trust yourself again
- learn how to be safe again

Work on your growth mindset
- Everyday is a new beginning
- Discover your values
- Practise self care
   Exercise
   Hyderate your body well
   Eat well by eating natural wholefoods
   Rest well
   Breath properly
- Live well on your purpose
- Learn and allow different experts to help you to grow
- Learn how to build connection with people
- Learn how to build trust with people
- Take actions and impact lives

When facing challenges
- It is okay not to be okay
- It is okay to make some mistakes in life
- It is okay to fail and pick yourself up again
- Worries crumbles you and waste of time
- Draw the energy from self love
- Be true to yourself
- Belive in yourself
- Be happy and acknowledge what you cannot control
- Be grateful each day as everyday is a chance to learn and grow
- Take one step at a time
- Find joy in everyday learning
- You are in abundance already.
- By having enough, you are deserving and be grateful
- Remember, You are loved
- I love You.

Older, wiser Rachel