Day 181: You are bigger than your problems

I stay away from Social Media for a week. Simply because I had a few emotional triggers.

I was busy troubleshoot Starhub TV setup box. I had to say the technical team is not very helpful or responsive. That I had to DIY and troubleshoot the setup box myself.

Resolving conflict with my working partners. Resolving my own money issues, attracting abundance.

Shifting my mindset and realigning myself to a better place. Allowing myself to see and feel my own pain, shift from helplessness to resourcefulness.

Sometimes we are so involved in the drama in our lives that we forgot that we have the power to step away, change the way we think or even to come out with new solutions. #WorkInProgress

Day 180: IOPT Study Group - Addictions (Internal)

Day 179: When I get triggered...

Challenges
Had issues with a working partner all these while.
Yesterday, I felt really very bad. I felt so lousy and I felt that I was worthless again.
I felt he was too fussy over small issues, making unncessary remarks. I felt stressed and I didn’t want to respond to him in a negative way anymore.

Hyder told me that we can't never stop people from triggering us but we can change the way we think and respond positively.

How I handle difficult situations in future
When I get triggered...
I improve myself
I learn new ways of doing things
I gain more knowledge
I gain more experience
I learn about myself
I learn how to work with difficult people
I change the way I think
I find better ways to handle same situation
I am more willing to listen
I am able to handle my own emotions better
I gain tolerance bit by bit
I increase my wisdom to handle the situations better
I become more mature
I take one step forward to overcome the challenges
I fail forward
I open up new possibilities of solutions
I find new ways to get more clients and increase network
I find new partners that support me, work well with me
I value clients who appreciate my work
I think of more solutions to solve the problem
I think of new ways to increase in money making

Day 178: Healing session with Evelyn

After 4 healing sessions with Evelyn, I felt that I become lighter. I am not so hard on myself. Seriously, what worse can my life gets? I am already at the bottom.

Instead of thinking about the worse all the time,
how about thinking about the best of my life?
What does it looks like to me?
I increase my wealth, my knowledge, my life experiences, my wisdom.
My projects increase and so are my networks. I am able to manage my funds well.
People comes to me easily to give me design projects. I am able to manage my time well. I able able to sustain my business.
The key is Focus and Consistency.

How do I want to spend my time and energy?
What are the 3 things that I can improve in my business?
1. Build my Network. Work on my main source of income: NUS Networks

2. Work on my marketing plan
Increase visibility on LinkedIn, Instagram with my works and tips

3. Imagine my best self, how does she looks like, how does she behaves
Imagine my joy stepping in to her state
Acknowledge a part of me wants to keep me safe
Acknowledge a part of me wants to create more fun and joy in my life
Concentrate on people who wants and needs my help in building their websites, creates stronger brand identity.

Day 177: Nourishing and Non Nourishing moments, Carefree Day 6

How to manage difficult situation / event
STOP method
Stop whatever you are doing or pause for a couple of second
Take a deep breath
Observe how your body feels, what is the stress level, emotions, thoughts any implusive actions?
Proceed something that supports you or you can choose to walk away

RAIN method
Recognising a difficult experience e.g. I am feeling stress, overwhelmed
Acknowledging stressful emotion is here. soften the mental and emotional state. You don't have to like it. Choose a more conscious respond, instead of default reaction
Investigate: Why am I feeling this way? Is there a better way to see it?
Non-Identification: Perhaps the anger is here right now, how can I choose the best course of action?

Nurturing / care for ourselves and others
List out what is nourishing and non nourishing for me.

Nourishing moments
Me Time
- Exercise
- Healthy Diets
- Breathing
- Enough water
- Enough rest

Family and Friends Meetings

Having fun activities

Doing something different

Count my blessings

Money comes to me easily

Journaling to see my own personal growth

Non nourishing moments
Boring tasks

Social media posts

Feeling tired

Don't feel like working at times but still have to do it anyway

Worry about money

Day 176: KDrama - What's wrong with Secretary Kim

Lee Young-joon (Park Seo-joon) is the vice-chairman of a major corporation. His world is shaken when, one day, his highly-capable secretary, Kim Mi-so (Park Min-young), announces that she will resign from her position after working for Lee Young-joon for nine years. Young-joon then decided to do whatever he can after talking to his best friend, who happens to be a Board Director in his company, to make sure Mi-so stays by his side.

Throughout the journey, Lee Young-joon planned plenty of things while Kim Mi-so decides to find for her elusive oppa from a past traumatic experience that she was a part of when she was a young child. Both were unknowingly aware that they shared the same experience of trauma but ultimately, Kim Mi-so falls in love with Lee Young-joon as they heal each other of their past traumatic experience of being kidnapped.

Areas of improvement in the drama, You couldn't really point out an antagonist, I just viewed the brother to be confused. As to the lady who kidnapped them, It would have been better if she was properly introduced and a little story as to who she was and why she did what she did. The story plot can develop further. The conflict was resolved in episode 12 which the show should have ended there, all Kdramas should not have to have 16 episodes.

Last time I watched romance, I will feel my heart pumping and feeling so sweet. Longing to meet my another half. Now I learnt about IOPT, when I watched romantic scene, it is just part of building connection with another person. More rational and less emotional.

Fortunately, I like the supporting characters in the office, I found them quite entertaining and funny, they really carried the show. No wonder, I watched this drama within 5 days! I would say this is a lovely romance drama, ends with a sweet ending. Overall, it’s a good drama. Simple plot, but yet entertaining, cheesy and funny moments, a lot of kisses and brilliant acting. You can watch it if you want a light romance that won’t pressure you too much.

Day 175: FGS Teachers Training

We had a full day Dharma Class teachers training. I like this scratch art 刮画。It may seem simple, but to do it beautifully, it requires mindfulness and skill.

I happened to receive 文殊菩萨 Manjushri Bodhisattva art piece. He cultivates wisdom.

Venerable Zhihai shares 《扫心地》
扫地扫地扫心地
心地不扫空扫地

It means that whatever we do, if we are unable to purify our hearts. It's as good as wasted effort.
May we increase our wisdom day by day.
#FgsTeachersTraining

Day 174: Replacing old shoes with new ones

Recently, 2 pairs of shoes were spoiled. If considering having material addictions, I love buying shoes more than clothes. Because I can select the style that I want. Every shoes that I buy is different.

This princess gold shoes, it is so pretty, I couldn't let it go. But somehow I can't wear it anymore. I just put on the shoes tray for past 6 months. I know I won't wear it in my heart. It has become uncomfortable and tight for me to wear. I am ready to let it go.

Although I only have 14 pairs of shoes. I feel it is more than sufficient. I only have 1 pair of legs and I can only wear 1 pair of shoes at one time. If I were to wear one pair of shoes per day. I have 2 weeks to rotate!

Update the shoes list
(Exercise) 5 Sports shoes: Pink, Light Pink, Blue, Gray, Black hiking shoes
(Formal) 4 Heels: Black, White Blue, Green
(Working) 3 Office Wear: Black, Brown, White
(Casual) 1 Sandal: Blue with little Pink Stripe
(Casual) 1 Sneakers: Sliver sneakers

When I buy shoes, I buy with consideration of the comfort level, the material, the height of the heels, the style, the colour and of course the price. Come to think about it, I love wearing heels, they made my legs look longer. I don't buy heals that are more than 2.5 inches that is because it is bad for my spine.

I tend to buy more shoes when there is 50% discount. But I also will consider what kind of shoes I already have, so that I don't purchase any duplicate style.

Another lesson learnt: Never buy too old shoes as every shoes has its own lifespan. Buy and wear it, so that I am maximising the usage of the shoes that I buy. This is one of the reasons, I don't buy a lot of shoes even though I love shoes. I understand about the shoes lifespan.

Day 173: IOPT Study Group - Addiction (External)

The 3 Addiction Blindspot (External)
1. Stress
Illusion
Distraction

2. Stressed Achievers
Driving ourselves too hard
Wants to be recognised

3. Blaming
Defensive and Denial
Blaming

Discussion
1. Which blindspots are you similar to your parents?
Watching TV, TV addicts watching different genres.

2. Are you aware if your external addictions and how does it makes you feel?
I am having a few addictions.
In the past
1. Driving myself too hard, working long hours. -> I learnted that busyness doesn't solve my loneiness.
2. Watching lots of TV programme and dramas for relaxation but it is an addictions. I get fustrated if I can't watch them and I used to quarrel with my mum over TV.

Now I am addicted to
1. Mobile games (Fishdom) - I like that I can keep going up the levels -> I want to be recognised.
2. Facebook Dhar Mann Videos - I like these inspiring stories.
3. Unhealthy Food Addiction - I consistently want to eat even though I am not hungry.
4. Give myself reason to buy clothes and shoes.

Personal Development (Cultivate Good habit)
1. Reading - Improve myself
2. Exercise Regular - to maintain my health

3. Do you really want to stop?
Reduce the time to play mobile game.

Day 172: KDrama - Live up to your own name

Heo Im, an oriental doctor acknowledged as best in acupuncture and moxibustion in Joseon is sent 400 years in to the future, to present day Seoul. There he meets Choi Yeon Kyung. She is a doctor who believes only in modern medicine. Whirlwind of destiny awaits them as they search deeper into each others lives.

Pretty lovely korean drama, in 2017. This is a 16 episode Korean drama. I always like time travel, using time and space. It is limitless. How people lived differently in different era. There are different challenges in different era. Greed appears in all era, it is how human being able to aware of Greed. I like the point that everything requires time and efforts to achieve the things that we want. Live up to our own reputation.

This drama is a different genre. Heartfelt, Romance, Fantasy, Medical. I always like medical dramas because it saves lives. Perhaps in my sub conscious mind. I want to help people and saves people. Just like wanting to save mother.

Day 171: Convey Your Thoughts Through Communication

Why do we need to improve our communication?
Any thoughts?

In my own views, it is a way for us to reach out to the world.
To convey our idea, our feelings and information or knowledge.

5 Methods of Communication:
1) Verbal Communication
2) Non Verbal Communication
3) Visual Communication
4) Written
5) Active listening

Verbal Communication
- It can be face to face
- Having discussion and talks through phone, whatsapp, zoom calls
- It also can be conducted in group discussion
- Having speeches at seminars, meetings or even conference

Benefits
- It saves time
- We can respond directly
- It allows immediate feedback
- Effective verbal communication can resolve conflicts such as disagreement or having tensions among people

Non Verbal Communication
- Body Language ie Eye contact, facial expressions, gestures.

Benefits
- It complements verbal communication
- When you give your presentation, you share your ideas and through non verbal communication with body language, it helps people to absorb and understand your message better.
- It enhances your delivery.

Visual Communication
- Graphics, illustration, imagery, symbols, charts

Benefits
- In this fast paced information era, people attention span is much shorter. Having Visual Communication helps people to communicate ideas faster and better. It pass on to other people easily. Eg Infographics, it translates complex information into visuals that allow people to understand the context easily.

Written
- It translates ideas into words

Benefits
- It drives inspiration
- It builds confidence
- It releases writer's thoughts and emotions
- It translates knowledge into words and pass on to others
- Journaling and blogging helps to give clarity

Active listening
- Listening makes us human

Benefits
- It opens up us up mentally and emotionally to other people
- It makes us sympathetic and empathetic to other party concerns and worries
- It develops patience and tolerance in the listening ears.
- Listening to others can help you to solve problems and see new opportunities
- In the event, it helps to avoid misunderstanding

Here are few tips I would like to share pragmatic approach on how to improve our daily communications.
https://www.wikihow.com/Improve-Your-Daily-Communication-Skills

1) Identify the audience type
Who are you talking to?
At this moment, are they ready to listen?
Observe their non verbal communication as they will give signs

2) Know what you are talking about
Are you well prepared on the topic / subject matter that you want to share?
If you are not, it will give you a discount of credibility. It will be harder to build trust in future.

3) Choose the choice of words
Be precise in your language
Be objective and sensitive
Speak the audience's language so that they are willing to share and listen to you

4) Use short sentences and avoid jargons
Your content is relatable and easily understood to many people.
Keep it short and sweet.

5) Wait for your turn to speak
When you are having a conversation or a discussion, do not interupt as it is disrespectful and it will disrupt the person's train of thoughts.

6) Be truthful.
Do not make things up if you are unclear. Always ASK! You will build your self confidence. Even if you don't know everything, be willing to learn and be curious. Honesty is the best policy.

7) Practice
This may seem obvious but it is not. When you practice your communication skills mindfully over the years. I guarantee your communication skills will improve leaps and bounce.

Here is the recap: 5 Methods of Communication:
1) Verbal Communication
2) Non Verbal Communication
3) Visual Communication
4) Written
5) Active listening

Improve our daily communications
1) Identify the audience type
2) Know what you are talking about
3) Choose the choice of words
4) Use short sentences and avoid jargons
5) Wait for your turn to speak
6) Be truthful
7) Practice

Remember, effective daily communication is a lifelong learning skill that will never be obsolete.

Day 170: Collection of New Denture + My Money Book

I collect my new denture today. I feel a bit scare to put it in and take it out. After a few days of trying. It becomes much easier.

I start reading My Money book. Thanks Peter for giving me this money book. I like Tip 2 and 3.

Money Tip #1
It is important to save.
You can either earn more or you save more than you spend.

Money Tip #2
You can never save using this formula:
Salary - Expenses = Savings
Instead, use this:
Salary - Savings = Expenses

Money Tip #3
Budgeting helps to set parameters to spend within your means and reduce the possibility of overstretching your finances.
I have rework my budget and I realise that I have enough.
At different phrases of our life, our needs and priorities are different. Instead of constantly feeling not enough. We can learn how to budget our own finances, helps us to breeze through our lives.

#WorkInProgress #Budgeting #IAmEnough

Day 169: Exploring new adventure

Recently I went to a heart specialist. She said my heart didn't pump as normal as a person.

Although nothing serious, she encouraged me to do active activities so that I can improve on my breathing and heart condition.

Today I feel like exploring outside my comfort zone. New adventure at Bishan Ang Mo Kio Park, an extended area, where NEA redeveloped the park.

The park has therapeutic garden, water playground and the gym pod. It's nice that the park didn't transform into another money making tools. Instead, enhance the experience of calming and relaxing environment. I still can hear the rooster crowing. The birds happily chirping and gentle swaying leaves of the trees.

I am thankful I still have the opportunity to reverse my health conditions. I am working towards my health.

Don't wait until it is too late to say I could have, I should have, I would have. These words have no use.

#ActiveAging #WorkInProgress

Day 168: KDrama - It is okay not to be okay

It has been a long time since I watched Korean Drama. This korean drama,"It is okay not to be okay" was highly recommended by Emilyn, Seh Leng and Rebecca.

I found this drama rather interesting as it talks about trauma, emotional healing.

Moon Gang-tae (Kim Soo-hyun) lives with his older brother Moon Sang-tae (Oh Jung-se) who has autism. They frequently move from town to town ever since Sang-tae witnessed their mother's murder. Gang-Tae works as a caretaker in a psychiatric ward at every place they settle in. While working in a hospital, he meets a famous children's book writer, Ko Moon-young (Seo Yea-ji), who is rumored to have antisocial personality disorder.

Learn something new in this drama. One of the scenes, Gang-tae teaches how to calm Moon-young by doing the Butterfly Hug.

Out of so many stories, I like the story of cheerful dog. The cheerful dog said,“I’ve been tied up for way too long. So I forgot how to cut myself free.”

I like the message it's to have the courage to find our own happiness. To free ourselves from the traumas.

I guess it applies to people who have suppressed their emotions for too long that they forgot they have the power to free themselves. They no longer need to carry those baggages with them now.

Dr. Zuckerman noted, “Allowing yourself not to feel ok involves accepting all feelings, thoughts, or sensations, and sitting with them until they pass. If you try to avoid, suppress, or ignore them, they will only grow stronger and leave you overwhelmed and believing that you cannot cope.”

Day 167: Tea with Peter + Axtro Fit 2

I met up Peter Tan at Raffles City, CLOVE Level 2. It is a nice place to chit chat and the tea and coffee are not expensive.

I shared with Peter how I want to move myself out of scarcity to abundance.

He showed me the detailed financial planning and he gave me a money book from money sense to help me to get started.

Understanding the financial basis. Understanding Relationships, Health and Wealth.

After meeting Peter, I thought that I will want to exercise myself again. I went to Penisular Shopping Centre to purchase Axtro Fit 2. According to HPB, this watch is of better quality. I will see how it goes.

Day 166: Data point and Starhub Support

I wasn't prepared that this new setup TV box doesn't allow recording.
But when you lose some you gain some too!
I gain free 2 years netflix and a few new programme from Starhub.

What I didn't like is the support that they didn't explain clearly about how to connect the setup box. My dad and I has to go to Nex Starhub retail shop 3 times to find out what exactly needed to be done.
Every support and sales tell me different things and they tell me different packages.

After install the Data Point, the network remains unstable and finally I realised that I need to logout and login my hubid again.

Hopefully, the connection will be stablise after all these poorly support in setup and reseting exoperiences.

Day 165: GBA Showcase with Angie

Thanks Angie for asking me to combine showcase with her.
I feels more stable when presenting.
The slides feel right.
Mindset
Action
Planning

It is how I present has to be more compelling and motivating.
The back story that I need to speak with a story form.
Why am I doing this and why people should take up this webinar with me.
Nevertheless, I felt that I have given my best for last night showcase.
Good Job, Rachel

Day 164: Healing Session with Evelyn

Day 163: Have the courage for new adventures, Carefree Day 5

Today is my carefree day. I felt a bit lost.

Although I declare that it is my carefree day.

I still have some anxiety that I cannot be free.

I remembered that Emilyn told me there is a new KDrama,"It's okay not be okay."
It talks similiarly about IOPT, emotional healing.

The drama show the dark fairy tales. It talks about the stress, pent up anger, anxiety, fear, childhood traumas, how each character has to face these negative emotions. The gruesome drawings were a perfect fit for the Korean TV series about three people who struggle to put their traumas behind them and find love. The way of healing is not to avoid them, but to face them, talk about these experiences and emotions, so that we don't have to run away from these emotions anymore.

I like the message is to have the courage to find our own happiness and to free ourselves from the traumas.

Butterfly is to heal and transform. It symbolises growth and transformation.

I remembered when I did my first few healings in 2008.
I forgot how badly wounded I was as a child.
When I finally retreived the bad memories, I saw I was hiding in a corner, feeling sad, anxious and depressed.

Now, I allow these emotions to surface. My younger self can't grow up because I was frozen. After 3 years of IOPT processes, I can feel alot about myself and my emotions. I cherish myself. When I am feeling sad, frustrated and angry, I name them and I acknowledge it.

There is no longer the need to suppressed, hide or run away from these truth.
I can face myself with love and peace. I can feel that I truly love myself. I can trust myself and I believe in myself.
It is okay to be me.

Day 162: H & M Jackets

I bought 2 jackets today because of my work as wearing them appears to be more professional. I didn't buy black as it looks too dull. Pink jacket: Straight-cut jacket in woven fabric with notch lapels, jetted front pockets and 3/4-length sleeves with gathers at the cuffs. and checked gray jackets Gently fitted, pattern-weave jacket with notch lapels, gathered, 3/4-length sleeves, jetted side pockets and a single back vent. Unfortunately both don't come with fasteners.

Anyway, both jackets make me look more professional and welcoming at the same time. I like 3/4 length jackets as they fit my arm length nicely. I got 2 of 15% discount from 2 recycled cards from H&M.

I support H&M Group because I believe it’s senseless that so many clothes and discarded textiles end up in landfill. Upcycling, and eventually recycling, is two of many ways to fulfil H&M's business goals towards a more sustainable fashion future.

Day 161: MTS Learning Journey

终于完成了佛光山文化之旅，有很多学习的地方。办半天的活动，看似简单，但考量的事情还真多。

我觉得自己做的不够完善。昨天跟佛陀说，我尽力了。今天，我很感恩法师们，老师们，摄影师们，准备音响的青年，厨房的义工，都尽量配合活动的细节，大致上都挺顺利的。

妙穆法师分享了《卖豆腐》和《蟑螂姐弟》的故事，让孩子们深入简出的了解“转念”的意义。我们以正念做事情，事情就会圆满。

知海法师说，我们做事要帮到后面的人，不可以只是想到自己而已。

真真说，我们昨天的压力，是为了今天的顺利。

Manice, 真真和我纸上谈兵了一个月，都不如当场实现真正活动。累计了经验，又学到宝贵的一课。成果（橙和苹果）是一点一滴累计而成的，我们需要继续努力喔。

＃佛光山文化之旅 ＃弥陀学校儿童佛学班

Day 160: Gain comes after you give

星期五我和真真回佛光山，为了准备星期六要用的结缘品，我们就看见这张人生扑事，仿佛它在鼓励我们。

真的，有拾才有得。我们不付出，怎么会有收货？东西不是我们只是想想就会有，也要付出对的努力，和靠对的因缘才可得。

其实看到学生能静下心来又玩的特别开心，让我很感动，什么辛苦都忘了。

＃佛光山文化之旅 ＃弥陀学校儿童佛学班

Day 159: IOPT Study Group - Mental Health

3 Mental Health Blindspots
1. Depressed
Uncertainty
Pessimistic

2. Lack of Enthusiasm
Feeling lost and no clear goals
Not motivated

3. Cannot Focus
Low Persistency
Urgency

Discussion
1. Which blindspots are you similar to your parents?
For me, before understanding about traumas, I always feel not motivated and feeling lost and no clear goals. After healing, I know what I truly want. I set my own goals and achieve them milestones by milestones. I am more clear what I want in my life.

2. What are the consequences of having the blindspots?
When I was lack of enthusiasm, I find it hard to focus and I give up things when it becomes hard. Now, I can perserver to the end and I made it most of the situations. I will make sure I complete them, even if it takes longer than I thought.

3. Do you want to find out the truth about yourself?
Of course, I consistently seeking my own truth.

Day 158: Resolve conflicts with Dad

Challenges
Had issues with dad all these while.
I always got triggered by his demands.

Perceptual Positioning
4 Identity
Young Rachel
Dad
Rachel as Observer (Verbalise it)
Future Rachel (Verbalise it)

Young Rachel
Little Rachel felt stressed and anxious whenever Dad asked her to do things.
It was always urgent. Even sometimes when Dad told her not to be urgent but he expects her to do things almost immediately or within a day.

Dad
Dad felt helpless and always finds it so difficult to ask little Rachel to do things.
He felt disappointed when little Rachel rejected his requests.

Rachel as Observer
Rachel can see that little Rachel stressed and unhappiness. Little Rachel doesn’t feel love and cared for. It is always task oriented. On the other hand, Rachel also saw Dad's helplessness and disappointment.

Future Rachel
Future Rachel is calm, confident and wise. She knows how to handle such situations. Instead of running away from the problem.

She checks with Dad
What this matter is all about.
What is the timeline for it
How soon can she complete this task

If it is just a photocopy and print document and it is easy to do, just do it for dad. It is not too difficult to do anyway.
Reflection:
Hug the inner child daily before sleep.
I handel my own anxiety and fear. What the anxiety is all about?
I do not know Dad entirely, he has his own issues and challenges.
Dad’s anxiety is his issue to handle.

Day 157: NUS Venture Building Interview

NUS Venture Building Interview Design Thinking Showcase

Day 156: You don't have to be rich, to live rich, Carefree Day 4

Thank you Peter for introducing such a great book, The Latte Factor. 4 hours of worthy read.

It really opens my mind about managing my own finances.

We don't need to have huge amount of money to get rich. Start small.

1) Pay ourselves first.
Earning our income has no issues, it's how we spend the money that may cause us to feel lack.

Save 10% of income every month. Every dollar we can save and put to work for us will compound if given enough time. This enables us to build wealth on almost any income.

2) Make savings automatic
I don't have to track or worry about money. Auto transfer into investment / savings account.

3) The quality of our life
Put meaning into my relationship with money, what is the relationship with money is going to be like? What is the money going to use for. It is not just figures or just to pay bills. Allow money to grow with us.

4) Delayed Gratification
Latte factor are the things we don't really need it. Yet, these things add on to our expenses, without us realising it E.g. Buy new clothes every month, having coffee every day, other addictions that don't serve us. It's not about removing small joys in our lives, it's about focus on things that truly matters to us in a long run.

If we don't know where we are going, we might not be happy where we end up.

#FunReading #WorkInProgress #TheFactorLatte

Day 155: 8 weeks of Mindfulness Reflection

Letter to myself - 3 April 2021

Dear Rachel,
I joined Cindy Laur's Mindfulness Practice because I want to reduce my anxiety and stress.

What I have learned about this MBSR Program are:
1. I learnt that eating mindfully is theraputic. I can taste the food, colors of the food.
Takeaway: Allow healthy food to heal my body.

2. I enjoy Mountain Meditation a lot. Mountain has a lot of life lessions for me to learn.
Takeaway: Whatever that has happened to me, it is nothing Personal.

3. I feel calm when I am in the present moment.
Takeaway: Breath in deeply, Exhale gentle.

4. I am easily triggered by my parents.
Takeaway: I can choose how I want to respond to my parents.

5. When I feel pain, I aknowledge it.
Takeaway: Pain is real, suffering is optional.

My sacrifice: I didn't really sacrifice, I just need to shift some of my activities to other dates and timing.

My challenges: I got triggered by my internet whenever it is down or not working. Solution is to reset the router and wifi power switch. Takeaway: There are solutions in every situation.

Reminded me of Portia Nelson's Poem,"There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery."
Chapter 1 of my life:
“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out."

Chapter 2 of my life:
"I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out."

Chapter 3 of my life:
"I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately."

Chapter 4 of my life:
"The next day, I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5 of my life:
"I walk down another street.”

These life lessons are valuable. It wasn't our fault when we make a mistake but if we continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, it is our fault.

We allow it to happen over and over again. That is living, without wisdom. We can't blame anyone anymore.

Only we choose to increase in our wisdom. We are no longer need to suffer the same way like in the past. Pain is real, suffering is optional.

I feel relax and I am more aligned and attune to my own feelings, my emotions and my thoughts.
1. Be intentional.
2. I feel my body sensations.
3. Be aware what comes to my mind.
4. I can choose how I want to respond.
5. Breath, appreciate, self care.
6. Having the connection to myself fully.
7. Importance of mindful practice: body scan, sitting, walking, eating meditation
8. I am living divine being.

I love myself.

Mountain Meditation Practice. 
Attached a Youtube Link of a reading of Jon Kabat-Zinn's original script. 


Lake Meditation Practice.
You might want to explore.


Release inner conflicts, stop Overthinking, Worry and Stress.

Day 154: Photoshoot at Gardens By the Bay

Thanks to my 2 business friends for jioing me for today's professional photo shoot.
We are still in the mist of processing the photos. We are grateful for the great weather, the lovely environment and both of them are awesome 😍 in terms of photography skills and posing ideas 😃 We are special in our own ways.

#RWDC #ThinkGood4Children #WorkInProgress #GBAFamily

More photos to be released soon.

Day 153: Jason and Tessa Teachers Zoom Party

I just attended my cousin and my best friend wedding. My best friend becomes my family 🙂

This photo was taken by me at Kew Gardens in May 2019. The moment just felt right. 2 beautiful souls decided to come together. They are match made in heaven. May both of them continue to walk this journey together, with love, trust and support.

Evon, Felicia and I bought wedding couple tshirts for them.
They look so cute and sweet.

Meiyan suggested that we do a zoom celebration for them.
I think it is really a great idea.

💓 一起幸福走到最后 💓

Day 152: IOPT Study Group - Physical Health

3 Physical Health Blindspots
Wants to be seen
- Want Love
- I am suffering

Negative
- Pessimistic
- Self-Critical

Burnout
- Driving yourself too hard
- Self-Sacrifice

Discussion
1. Which blindspots are you similar to your parents?
My mum tells me she is suffering consistently. She always said she self sacrifice a lot for the family. My sister also tells ting ting she self sacrifice a lot for her. I felt pressured. When I did IOPT process, I just realised that in order I want to save her, I made myself also got diabetes, I was trying to reduce her pain. I am also be like her. Io understand her suffering. I am also want love from my parents, I was self critical and burn myself out.

2. Do you often fall sick or have physical symptoms?
What I recall in my childhood days, I fall sick so often that even my doctor unbelieved that how come I was well, after one week later, I fell sick again. It is no major issues, just cough and flu. Somehow I got all sort of children illnesses: german missel, chicken pox, skin rashes even fits when I was a baby. I think I want attention, love and care from my parents and doctors. I felt that people care for me more when I was sick. I even tell my ex-boyfriends how sick I was to get their attention. Of course, I realise this truth, I become healthier, I don't sick that often other than my diabetetic condition. I learnt to take care of myself better. I want myself to be healthy now.

Which are similar to your parents?
I think we all want to be seen, be loved and hence want attention from other people. Give ourselves the assurance that we are okay.

3. Will you allow yourself to be supported?
Definately. I welcome support so that I can be healthier and better in my life. I have seen transformation in my life. Thanks to Hyder, Christine, Seh Leng and Evelyn for supporting me emotionally and mentally.