You Can, I Can

I started illustration skills in Feb 2012. At first I was full of doubts, fear, uncertainty, no clarity. I still continue to draw despite I was facing my own negativity. My confidence grow when I was drawing 10% of the image and slowly builds up along the way. Slowly bits by bits, I feel joy, relaxation and confidence each stroke that I draw. I feel that each stroke becomes easier and smoother.

I was sharing with Evelyn that I was hurt when Laselle teacher threw my drawing on the floor. Even though, this event has past for 6 years. I still felt the rejection, the pain and the hurt and I cried. She helps me to release some of the pain. However, she told me such hurt could be even happened before this event happened.

I tried to recall for the past few days but I can't until today I remembered that during Sec 1. I took up the drawing class. I can't remember who was the teacher already. I remembered it was a still life painting class. I drew. As I didn't learn any skills about still life drawings before. It is naturally I drew out of porportions. The teacher gave me a F.

From that day onwards, I had this belief that "I can't draw well." This belief carries with me for 20 years! During that time, it didn't affect me at all as I was scoring As in my Chinese, Maths and Science.

However, ever since I wanted to be a successful creative director. This belief actually hinders me. I didn't dare or most of the time I avoided drawings to my best ability. As a result, this belief affected my learnings!

Fortunately, I have slowly overcome this belief which no longer serves me. Now, I can say to myself confidently. Yes, I can draw and I draw well. :)