Journal Day 41: Service leadership

Excellence is not a boost.

It is a labour of Love for what it can be better.

It is about leading by example and leaving a legacy.

Service leadership in my activity in my profession and in my life.

Journal Day 40: Confident Rachel

I am grateful that Evelyn allows me to view the videos, working on my own beliefs and values.

Step into wise and confident Rachel
Sensing the Future Rachel
I want to claim it now. I can feel it now.

Feel and believe
* 90 days challenge
* What do I need to do today?
* Imagine what is confident Rachel is doing now.
* Where am I pioritising my time and energy?

* Imagine what is confident Rachel is doing now.
- Rachel will wake up on time.
- Rachel goes for her daily exercise, eat plant-based diets
- Rachel rest for awhile, makes herself feel comfortable before she starts her day.
- Rachel organises and plans what she will do for the day
- Rachel will know what she is doing
- Rachel will ask whenever she is unclear
- Rachel will be decisive in what she wants
- Rachel has clarity in her life

* Where am I pioritising my time and energy?
- Promoting my calling (create conversations)
- Must get into conversations
- Build Trust
- Show A to B
- Create Desire, Set Expectations
- Selling High ticket items with Values

Go through the videos again
Day 1: Tapping Fear of Rejection

Journal Day 39: Birthday Rest

I give myself a Birthday Rest. As Tessa is back in Singapore, she said she is okay to spend some time with me.

We went to Gardens by the Bay for morning walk and in the end, we walked to Marina Bay Sands and having a nice tea at TWG Singapore and a nice memory book!
Now that Tessa has passed the book to me, it's my turn to update it! Hehehe. I enjoyed my day and be happy and healthy!

Journal Day 38: Set up healthy boundaries

Tonight, 6 Oct 2020, Mum triggered me with the things in the kitchen. I can't believe that she doesn't have the tolerance to put my things there in the cupboard.

For the entire house, I am only allowed to put my things in my room. I feel so sad and disappointed.

Another triggered on 15 Jan 2021, she is more concerened with her dry floor than me bathing in her bathroom.

How can my parents treat me like that. I am a human being, not things.

Am I just a passbyer in their eyes? I can't help but feeling that I needed to move out of the house to gain back my healthy autonomy and my freedom.

I am really, really feeling upset about it.

Now I really feel that it is good to set healthy boundaries for myself and others.

Journal Day 37: Make Money Easily

I did a healing process with Evelyn today.

I want to resolve money issues with Parents.

After healing I feel much better.

I addressed the issue that money is hard to earn.
I feel that money is easy to earn now, I trust myself more.

The next day, Dad just gives me money readily.

I told my business partner the amount that I want. He agreed to give me. More importanly, I need to find time to make sure I can deliver. I will negiotiate with him on the timeline.

Reflection: it is indeed that money is easier to make compare to the past. I cherish the people and opportunties that comes into my life.

Journal Day 36: Picking up my pieces

Today I feel thankful to have a groupd of well connected friends to celebrate my birthday.

It is indeed heartening to be with people that I loved, care about and want to be with.

Just now I broke a bottle of Ketchup. I felt helplessness in the beginning. But I told myself I will be able to clear the mess myself. After half an hour, I managed to pick up all the broken pieces and clean up the sauces on the floor. I fel that the broken pieces are parts of me. Big and small pieces of me. I picked them up one by one.

When I was impatient with myself, I hurt myself. Hence, I got a small cut, just now. Probably inside me, felt the pains and want to be seen by me. Feeling a little bit better after I cleared up the mess.

Good Job, Rachel!

Journal Day 35: Self Support

Today I felt overwhelmed because I was having a lot of activities.

1) Speak to Bhawani about NUS Newsletter Layouts.
2) Tech support for the China Clients.
3) Tech Support training with German Teams. I need to practise more on sharing screen.

Some of the surviving strategies that I had
1) Fall sick
2) Get Injured
3) Food Addiction (Junk Food)
4) Seeking validation and Perfection, Self critic (Not Good Enough)

Truth is we will never meet expectations.
Stop hurting myself.
Surviving strategies keep me away from the truths.

Why I need the money $100k?
1) Escape from Parents (Surviving Strategy)
2) Independance (Healthy Autonomy)
3) I want to support myself (Healthy Autonomy)

Journal Day 34: Random Thoughts 2

Today I give a webinar talk on "Creating Memorable Websites" It was pretty smooth, except I forgot to on my audio in my video.

I am glad that I built more trust with Edy, Hopefully, our partnership will work well.

Today I had an illogical night with the gals. It was silly, amused and fun. Although it was a bit awkward in the beginning.

I will give myself a hug tonight. I need it.

Journal Day 33: Hold hands together

Today is Mid Autumn Festival.
Full moon means completeness.

My family went to Bishan park for a walk. It was heartwarming when Ting Ting wants us to hold our hands together. Although Dad holds my hand, he can't give love to me anymore.

It is okay I can love myself now.

3 Things I can do for myself.
1) Stop all abusing, critical harsh words on myself
2) Feel my own passion, heart desires
3) Build strong connection with myself

Journal Day 32: #myself

Tonight I helped Becky to do her intention: Why am I afraid of success?

Her process triggers the fear in me too.
Fear of Hardship
Fear of Doing too many things
Fear of Rejection
Fear of Being Judge
Fear of Showing up

I also don't allow myself to cry in the past. But I do now. If I really need to cry, I just allow myself to cry.

I need to focus on myself.
Allow myself to feel what I am feeling right now.
Allow myself to feel sadness within me.
What am I struggling right now?
Show empathy for myself.
Listen to myself.
#myself

Journal Day 31: Random Thoughts

Today I had a zoom meeting with Edy. Glad that he is open for ideas and align with him quite well.

I also met Christie, had a good conversation with her. I learnt to make sure she can commit before I proceed.

Ee Dzu was stressed with her work. Hope that I can guide her to destress. Hope that she can come out with her own solutions that she can accept and agree with.

Happy to make mooncake with Swee Chen and some of the GBA ladies.

As for myself, I feel that recently I am more focus and at ease with the things I want to do and achieved them. Good news is I won a free healing session with Evelyn. I hope I can heal myself and able to receive another breathroughs.

The most interesting part of these random thoughts is that they might not be random after all. Scientists think that these memories are trying to help you solve a problem.

Scientists believe that random thoughts are likely the result of memory processing and also creative thinking. You may start to notice that you have mind-pops more often when you have a problem that you want to solve.

It’s as if you have told your brain to search for things that can help you solve the problem and your brain responds with random things that are connected.

Why Random Thoughts are Actually Important, Backed By Science

People who experience frequent random thoughts tend to rate higher on tests of creative thinking. In a study of the brains of research subjects and their random thoughts, ‘High-frequency mind pops were significantly associated with “larger grey and white matter volume in the prefrontal cortex. This increase in mind pops is also linked to higher creativity and the personality trait of ‘openness.”

HOW YOU CAN MAXIMIZE RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR YOUR BENEFIT
Being mindful is the best way to make use of random thoughts to enhance your creativity. Here are a few ideas to help you allow your random thoughts solve problems for you:

* Dwell on the random thought for 90 seconds – Sing along with the song or immerse yourself in the memory that was brought up.

* Read 7 Things That Keep You From Living in the Now – Our guide to avoiding things that keep you from being mindful will help you make use of random thoughts when they happen.

* Think briefly about your current problem – What is it that you are currently struggling with?

* Think about how the random thought connects to the problem – Is there a connection between the random thought and the problem?

Journal Day 30: Make an effort, not an excuse.

Today I feel like renew myself so I reselect my message. It says,"Make an effort, not an excuse" How adaptly!

Jia Huey commented my room is too dark. I took her advice and go to Lazada to by a new portable light stand. I think it is useful for me for recording as well. It is an investment for my business.

I find that the audio is too lengthy and I made an effor to shorten the clip, so that it doesn't take up my space.

I took efforts to find out what exactly needed to be done. Making efforts made me feel that I am contributing, I am living in the present moment.

I will put in effort in Pier71 microsite and posters. It has become more manageable.

Journal Day 29: Self Care: I want myself

Today, I give myself two rounds of exercise. Zumba@Bishan Park and walked 10k steps around Labrador Park.

Thankfully the weather is great. Cloudy and windy with light rain, makes the experiences really comfortable.

I shall let myself rest for tomorrow.

Spend a bit of time with myself today.
Relook at the notes that I pen down.

Top 3 desires that I want myself
1) I want to say "Yes" to myself.
2) I want to accept myself fully.
3) I want to be true and authentic.

Journal Day 28: Listen to my Heart

Today is FGS Teachers Dharma Class online gathering. I feel blessed and touched by the FGS video; how FGS rebuilt Buddhism in India, watched the students performance and gratitude words.

At night, I happened to recieve invitation to watch Imee Ooi's Metta Sky. Grateful to be able to hear Heart Sutra with such a beautiful voice.

A short reflection:
Have I be kind to myself and others?
Have I made a difference in people's lives?
Have I learned my lessons well?

I am glad to have a conversation with Ee Dzu. She shared with me that if I want peace be mindful of which of the moments I am experiencing peace and which moments I don't.

Pen down my experiences.

It is pretty useful so that I understand myself better.

Journal Day 27: Arts Communication Fundamentals

I attended "Arts Communication Fundamentals" organised by Quantico.

This online course is pretty intersting.

What strike me most are:
1）What is the story and meaning that I do?
2) What are my values: Building Trust and Lasting Relationships
3) What can I do to impact people lives?

When people connects, they see if there is trusts, align with the values and common goals.

I met the 2 copywriters in ad agencies, 1 jazz singer and 1 public service health manager. Why not I connect them through emails first?

Journal Day 26: Plan for 2021

Attended Evelyn and Jeffrey's workshops. Both of them shared good content on how to move forward to end 2020. I still left with 97 days.

What do I want to achieve before this year ends?

Give more self love
Reduce stress and anxiety (Meditation, Laughing and Exercising)
Increase in Energy in 2021 (No wonder I signup for Toni Baker's Love your Liver Program so instantly)
Self-Motivated, feel more joy
Be more clear in my life (No wonder I am so discipline to journal my life these few months, so that I can see and feel my own rythmn and theme)
Have more design thinking training in place

Today, I want to tell myself.
I am doing okay. I care for my well being.
I am a discipline person. I take actions and followup now.
I know I can do it.
Let me have the patience and do things differently for now. It's not difficult when I do things gradually, but it's difficult when I do things in a short period of time.

Journal Day 25: Blessed with my Coaches

Today I feel blessed to work with my coaches Evelyn, Hyder and Jeffrey.

Evenlyn worked on my emotions aspects.
Hyder worked on my mindset aspects.
Jeffrey worked on my business aspects.

Hyder touched me emotionally today. He said,"Allow my favourite states to set in. Go to bed with happy feeling, waking up feeling happy, calm and peaceful."

Indeed, the wonderful morning experiences to set the day right.

I am accountable for my own life.
I take charge of my own life, my decisions.
I learn to trust myself now.
It is okay to make changes, change for improvements.

Journal Day 24: Double My Self Confidence

I attended Evelyn's First Day "Double Your Self Confidence". I haven't been working on my business.

I go through the trigger points
Fear of Rejection
Fear of Unwanted
Fear of not good enough
(These feelings are much reduced after my confidence grew tremendously.)

I am more willing to face my anxiety.
When people reject me, I feel hurt.
I believe this hurt comes from the very young part of me. I am releasing the hurt in me. I choose to let go. It no longer serves me. Enough is enough.

Journal Day 23: Helping yourself by helping others

I woke up late today. Nevertheless, I still willing to go to the AMK park to walk.

The internet was unstable today but I am glad to ask Edy to brandstorm what are the ways to get clients, how can we help them.

Breakdown the costing for the clients
Provide installments plans when necessary
Understand our customers and speak their lingo

Met Melvin Tan, Loon and Steven
Steven is a trainer for startup
Loon is a mentor for youth startup
Melvin is the coordinator
They seem to have interesting businesses
I will discuss more with Edy to see how we can collaborate with them.

At night, I helped to reasonate in 2 IOPT Processes.
6.30pm: It is about an old lady who refused to see her parents as prepetrators even though they have verbally abused her.
8pm: It is about an only child, despite him holding on to his parents' stress and burden, he is doing that to himself as well.

When I saw these 2 processes, I sort of feel that I also want to protect my own parents and holding on to my parents wish and wants. I neglected myself. How am I able to connect with myself too?

I feel my own helplessness, sadness, frustrations, anger. I can feel my own anxiety. Why saying Yes to myself seems so challenging and difficult? How can I say YES to myself sincerely and genuinely that I truly want myself?

Can I feel it now?

Journal Day 22: Exercise and Curry Puffs Day

Today I had a great day with Meiyan, Stephanie and Ee Siew. We had morning breakfast, light exercise (walking and stretching), rest awhile, start eating po piah at Ee Siew place for lunch. We took many amusing, fun photos.

After lunch, we start preparing curry puffs, Meiyan and Stephanie work very fast. Ee Siew start making the dough into circles and we star to make them into puffs. I finally learnt how to fold the sides into patterns. After fry and bake, the puffs turns out to be not bad.

We had a good laugh during the DIY Facial masking.

I slept early last night, I played with Ting Ting too. She likes stickers but the stickers that Ee Siew gave me no longer that sticky. But it is okay, we had fun!

Journal Day 21: Learn to delegate tasks better

Today is MTS Dharma Class Test games. I feel calm and collected. Perhaps a lot of workload are shared among the Dharma teachrs, hence it was pretty easy for me.

I learnt to delegate out tasks. I think it is an important skill to grow as a leader. I helped to oversee if everything is in place. My role has unconsciously changed. I empower others to grow with me and people around me benefit as well.

I feel when I let go, I am less controlling, I am more in the flow. I trust myself more. I am able to care and love myself bit better. It feels like getting know an old friend.

When I trust myself. I know I can depend on myself. This feeling is very good. I feel very grounded and I feel stable. I like myself.

Journal Day 20: Reframing of the Mind, Doing new things with Joy

I feel tired today, rushing out more of the pages for NUS Newslettere. Busy days recently but it is a good busy because I am doing new things.

Boring is a sign of consistency, it means that doing the same thing over and over again. Expect different results is craziness.

Allow openness, find new ways if the first idea doesn't work, keep trying, definately there is a method that will work well. That is the right solution.

Reframing of the mind
How might we...

Journal Day 19: Shifting My Mindset

Today I realise that what I thought I can't do, I can do. By shifting my mindset, our mind is very powerful. Be kind to my mind.

Today it was really a busy day for me, exercise, working on Pier71 and NUS Newsletter Jul - Sep, I only completed half of them. OMG! Hopefully tomorrow, I will be able to complete the first draft of the newsletter.

I need to sleep now 休息师为了走更长远的路

Yeow said," As we age, it is even more important to be physically, mentally active. Once inactive / sedentary, problems start to kick in. Qi slows down, toxins start to accumulate and inflammation appears!"

Take care ya!!!

Journal 18: Do I care enough for myself?

I feel good that I can help Priscilla and her team to complete Accelerate Website Event. It is a team effors and when everyone supports each other, good things happend.

Today I attended Design Thinking Webinar. I knda disappointed to attend as it is not related to Design Thinking.

I ended up attending Financial Literacy Webinar, but I still can learn something from the trainer.

To save 10% of my income. (Pay myself first. It is do able.) Pay bill first secondly (Do able.)

Save at least 6 months of my income.

I will save at least $200 monthly progressively.

I get more projects in.

Build more quality relationships with people.

Build deeper connection with myself.
Do I care enough for myself? I do care for myself now.

Journal Day 17: Empathise myself and others

Today I went to see Jessica IOPT process.

Her 'I' was given up at a very young age. That reminds me about how I have given up my own 'I' for others. It was indeed a painful process. I am able to empathise myself and others.

Today I was very busy with Pier71 and NUS Newsletter. I got to put in more efforts in the Newsletter.

I will sleep early tonight so that I have more energy for my lessions tomorrow. I feel lack of energy tonight, maybe I didn't sleep well last few nights.

Journal Day 16: Put in more efforts in preparing my meals

As I continue my healing journey, I decided to put in more efforts in preparing my meals. Today, I prepared oats meal (14 Sept 2020 and 11 Jan 2021) and I will preparing chocolate nuts milk shake tomorrow (12 Jan 2021).

What I feel like telling myself is I like the state of being, I feel more grounded, be in the moment. I am able to be more focus and productive.

I give my best to myself and people around me. I want to connect with myself more emotionally. I want to feel myself. I am grateful to be me. I watched a video that says,"Stop following others, be who I really am and I will be able to shine light onto others."

This ia good reminder to focus on myself.

Journal Day 15: Recap Plant-based Diets

Today I spent 5 hours at Yeow's place to relearned about plant based diets, together with Thiru, Pat, Ee Dzu. A the end of the class, Yeow asked what have we learned today.

I took away these 5 tips.
1) Mitochondria turns food and oxygen into energy.
2) Plant based diets heals and repairs the body.
3) Toxin makes us fat, we need to detox to release the toxin.
4) Exercise helps us too. ie shakes like a tree.
5) Rest heals and repairs the cells.

Moving forward
1) Oats and smoothies in the morning.
2) Buy fruits and deep green leafy vegetables（kai lan / kale) can make massage salad. Invest $900 in wholefood monthly.
3) Exercise regularly in the morning.
4) No oil for the food that I prepare.
5) Give Self love in the process

Journal Day 14: Zabo 美女如云

Today I spent whole day with Manice, Stephanie, Meiyan and Ee Siew at Teng Bespoke (Sunshine Plaza) and Josh's Grill (Bugis Junction), celebrating Manice's Birthday. It was pretty sweet gathering. We eat the whole day. Fortunately, I didn't eat too much carbs and I took amla powder, so the blood sugar didn't spike up. I think exercising and sleeping early do play a part in controlling the sugar.

Meiyan went to setup Zabo 美女如云 chat group. where we build genuine friendship together. I am blessed to have them in my life. They are positive, caring and direct. That what makes real friends, right?

Thanks Meiyan help me to get this cute image, 禅师坐在云端修禅定 . It is beautiful.

Journal Day 13: Feeling Joyful

Today I had a great time at Yen Yuen's place. Thank you for her efforts to cook for Manice and I. We had fun and I really very long time never played to heartedly.

I feel very grateful and thankful. I realise that many things are beyond my control. What I can control is my own heart. I want to heal my heart. I am prepared to release the pains in my heart. 过去事不可得，现在事不可得，未来事不可得。

I will spend time connect with myself. When I feel calm and peaceful, I am connecting with myself. It is very calm and pleasant feeling, no anxiety, no fear, no anger. The feeling is amazing. I am contented. 心无挂碍，无挂碍故。

Journal Day 12: Rejections

Today Vanessa from Blind Dogs Singapore shares that the choice of choosing the vendor is Price and Design. I wasn't affected as I understand she wasn't the type of clients that I am looking for or having the right conditions to work together.

Regjections are part of life. You win some or you lose some. I will focus on myself and people who want to work with me. It will be more valuable and meaningful.

I thank you and I love You Rachel :)

Journal Day 11: I will take care of my own needs

What I want to say is I will take care of my own needs. By saying yes to myself, it is self love.

Today, I start using the "Habit" App. It is pretty cool. It helps me to monitor my own progress.

I mentioned to Hyder about my own anxiety. The anxiety comes from my younger self. She needs her own space, connect with myself in the present moment.

I spend almost every day at the park. That reduce my anxiety.

I dreamt that I screwed up 2 presentations. I felt so upset and disappointed with myself. In the reality. I didn't close 2 deals, one overseas project and Blind Dogs Singapore. Perhaps, I wasn't ready emotionally to help them. Thank God that I didn't take up their projects because I don't have time for them.

It is okay. I should focus on myself and NUS Enterprise, Pier71 Event. Bhawani and Priscilla trusted me and gave me the projects. I will serve them well. :)

Today's Affirmation: The universe always gave me projects that I can handle them.

Journal Day 10: Reaffirm it is okay to feel all my emotions

What I want to say to myself is
It is okay to make mistakes.
Read: Journal Day 2: It is okay to make mistakes

Mistakes means I need to pay attention to.
I will learn now I will help myself in the next time.

I want to listen to myself more.
When I listen to myself, I feel alot better.
No one can truly help me, if I don't help myself.
Read: Journal Day 6: I listen to myself

It is okay to feel sad, anger, frustrated.
Today, I allow myself to feel all my emotions.

Journal Day 9: I cherish myself

Today I want to say I cherish myself. I did a resonance for a iopt client. I have seen how he has being harshed / ignored himself. I can related to that I long for my mother's love, I suffered when I couldn't get it.

Through scolding, It is also part of the connection with mother/family. How can I love and trust myself? Stop harming myself with harsh words.

I feel that when I love myself, the people around me also be kind to me. When I trust myself, I am able to respond to people appropriately. I don't have to live in fear or anger anymore.

Oh Yah, my finances have improve as well. I no longer feeling stres over money. I understand when I take care of myself, money will take care by itself. *Love*

As much as anybody else in the universe, I deserve my love and affection.

Journal Day 8: The body keeps the score

Today I want to say 再远的距离，其实很靠近。I want to feel myself and feel my heart. I want to support myself.

I feel good when I spend time with myself. Like today, Spend time understand myself, listen to myself to find out what exactly myself want to tell me. 相信自己，多一点信任，多一点自在。

I still feel a lot of anxiety in the body. The book,"The body keeps the score." This is the stress hormones that keeps in my body. The events have over, but the body still doesn't know yet. I want to tell my body to relax, take a deep breath in, I could feel the anxiety from my shoulders, upper back and lower back.

Solutions
- Eating healthy diet for the antioxidants and nutrients
- Exercise and stretch body to release the tension in my body
- Rest to allow my body to recharge
- Breathing to remind myself I am living

Journal Day 7: I am beautiful inside out

Today I want to say to myself: I am beautiful inside out. I am caring and understanding. I am learning to understand myself a bit better, such as I like simplicity, I like spaces, decluttering helps me to see things more clearly. I don't need a lot, just need the right people, right things into my life.

I can feel my own vibration. I am glad that people love to talk to me. I am approachable. Nothing in this world can't be resolve. With love and understanding, things will be able to work out eventually.

I believe everyone in this space has his own purpose, potential and mission.

I hope in this lifetime, I can truly fulfil my life purpose, I reconnect with myself, the true and authentic Rachel Won.

Journal Day 6: Listen to myself

Today is Teachers' Day, what I feel like saying is I want to thank myself for starting to be willing to listen to myself.

I am grateful for the teachers and mentors who came into my life. Thank you for making an impact and difference into my life.

Today I resonate for a client, Yvonne from HK. I feel like I am also like her, ignoring myself, I feel her pain. I finally understood how sad my younger self was feeling. I felt her pain. Feeling ignored, unwanted and sadness. My younger parts are asking me what can they do to be seen, loved and care for.

Okay, I heard it loud and clear.

I feel that
- Hugging is one of the ways
- Pay attention to my own needs
- Listen to myself
- Do things that I care about
- Show love to myself

Journal Day 5: Resilience

Today I want to tell myself I am awesome! Despite all the challenges that I faced, I still managed to overcome them. That is what resilience is all about.

Without challenges, there is no resilience, no wisdom, no strength.

Tonight talk is about resillence - how to overcome against odd.
What I remembered was mistakes / pains are just paying attention to our physical pain / emotional pain. I allow myself to feel angry / sad and there is no need to hide.

Don't fight alone, ask for help. It is a form of humanity and courage. Go with the flow.

Today I put $100 in my wallet. I feel that I am slowly growing up. I can handle my money better. I am able to receive more money into my life. Thank you Universe!

I trust myself.

Journal Day 4: Just ask for it

Toaday I want to tell myself that I can have anything I want in my life. I just ask for it.

Thank you and I allow myself to receive it.
I want back my health.
I want myself.
I trust myself.
I am rich in values.
Money flows in naturally.
I have a growth mindset.
I take care of myself.
I feel loved when I hug myself.
I cherish myself.
I value myself.
I am doing this for greater good.

Journal Day 3: I am good enough

Today, I want to tell myself I am good enough.
I have beating myself up emotionally.
Enough is enough.

I am good enough for myself.
I don't need to prove myself to anyone.
I can be myself.

Rachel, remember you have your own strengths.
Never compare yourself with anyone.
You are unique.
You are talented.
You are a miracle.

I love you from the bottom of my heart.
PS: This pen is imperfect but I still embrace its flaw.

Journal Day 2: It is okay to make mistakes

Today, I want to tell myself, it is okay to make mistakes. Mistakes bring us closer to the truth. I understand the issues deeper and I will find more effective way to solve the issues.

I shared childhood traumas to a group of friends. Yes, it takes time to heal but it is okay. I allow myself to be healed.

Rachel, you are courageous soul and I love you.

Dad rewarded me $300 for completing my studies. I see it as a form of encouragement. I grow through learning. I want to attract clients who trust and want to work with me.

I allow myself to shine. I trust myself deeply and completely.

Journal Day 1: Saying loving words to myself

As I want to transfer the old journal to this ejournal for better reference and recording my growth.

I want to start saying loving words to myself.
Rachel, you are beautiful.
I love myself.
I accept myself fully, deeply and unconditionally.

I went to buy new clothes just now.
When I wore those clothes, I want to feel comfortable and confident.
Remember, confident comes from inner self.
I feel good wearing clothes that fit me.

I want my cells to be healthy.

My younger self tells me the challenges she was facing so that I can help.
I am ready to listen.

Today, I received Gratitude, Connection, Changes, Breakthroughs.

I believe I am connecting with myself.
There are going to be changes and breakthroughs.
Indeed, I received my UIUX results slips and certifications.
They are great, 3As and 1B+ in Oct 2020.
I also received my money breakthrough in 11 Nov 2020.
I am grateful for the experiences.

Today is my FIRST Day that I acknowledge myself that I am beautiful and I can feel it.
I can feel it is very sweet. I feel shy too. I want myself a lot more. I hug myself even though I teared. I felt very good after that, I long for hugs for a long, long time. Now, I can do it for myself.

认真的女人最美麗 - 高慧君

高慧君 - 认真的女人最美丽

看　城市睡得多么沉
梦　醒在黎明时分
冷　都是太习惯有你　分享体温
忘了自己平不平衡　傻傻空等

我　不再为你不锁门
爱　还有很多可能
让　所有柔情都勇敢的燃烧
像朵玫瑰花绽放　生命的缤纷

认真的爱人不怕有伤痕
笑和泪都痛快完整
认真的追求你不懂心疼
我做我幸福的主人

认真的态度是一种过程
付出的不会是牺牲
认真的坚持迎向你人生
你就是最美的女人


I personally feel that when I focus on the things I like to do. I immersed myself into the work fully. The outcome will be great. This lyrics resonate with me. We need to be the owner of our own happiness. Whatever we contribute will never be wasted. It is part of our life journey. Appreciates the moment and have the courage to explore and move forward each day.

張智霖 - 忽然覺得好想你

爱好奇怪总在夜里澎湃
心一旦开思念满怀

爱好无奈言语说不明白
心安静不下来

忽然觉得我好想你
忽然渴望拥抱你
只可惜今夜在我怀里
只有思念和回忆

忽然觉得我好想你
忽然担心永远失去你
这忧郁写满在夜里

Living a simple life

Living a simple life for people who wants to embrace more than what you already have. The real benefits of minimalism stretch much more deeper and wider than you think. Life is so much more than what you own.

1. Clarity of Mind
We didn't realise that the amount of physical things that we have are interlink with our mental health and physical health. Research has shown that when we clear out our closets, it has massive impact on our mental clarity and peace of mind.

I reflected that after I repack my entire wardrobe. I must say that it has impact the way I look at my clothings. I know exactly where are my dresses, tshirts, pants, shorts, skirts, belts, hats and undergarments are. It saves my time to think what clothes should I wear for today or the next day. Last time, I used to dig all my clothes, just to find 1 sweater. But now, there is no need for me to do that as I can see clearly where my things are.

2. Better Health
Too many of us are over committed in our lives. We are afraid to disappoint someone - that is a terrible reason to overload our schedules. It is okay to rest when we are tired or just let our body and mind to simply clear our mind just for half a day. That helps our body to rejuvenate and recover our energy faster. Regular exercise helps to boost our energy up and so does choosing the healthier choice of food.

3. More Freedom
Letting go of physical possession you own, desire to own, or work to own what you don't want it. Imagine the freedom you would experience if you could let go of the pressure and do what you want to do. You will have more time to travel, take a day off, to work for yourself or to find a job that you actually like.

4. Less Stress
Imagine you are living in your clutter-free home, feeling good, safe and relax. Ahhh... I can feel it already.

5. More Time
In a world where opportunities are coming at us faster than the speed of light. It is hard to say "no" for a couple of reasons. First fear of missing out and secondly fear of being bored. Try this for a week: clear all your evening time, work during the day but don't make any commitments in the evenings. Then with the extra time, prepare dinners for family, go for evening walks or read books.

Amazing opportunities will always be there. They will never run out. I promise you will find a way to fill up your extra time.

6. Self-Confidence
You may think you need to have the latest or greatest style of clothes or that brand of clothes, bags, shoes, car to make you feel good about yourself.

Imagine how freeing it would be to feel good about yourself without those things. This is an unexpected benefit of living with less. You start to feel good about yourself, not because of what you own but just because of who you are.

Recent I saw a beautiful jacket on Sale just for $29. I wanted to buy because it really makes me feel good about myself. Then, I thought about the practicality of having this jacket. I would have very few occasions to wear this jacket. It is not very practical, hence, in the end, I didn't buy. To me, seeing beautiful things don't mean that we need to own it. As long as we are able to appreciate it for that moment, it is good enough.

7. Greater Purpose
When you clear out unnecessary activities and items from your life, something unexpected happens. A clear sense of purpose returns. You feel motivated to do what you set out to do because your direction is clear and there is no confusion. When you only have few commitments, you can take them seriously.

8. Extra Money
When we learn to buy less and having less activities, there will be more cash on hand. Then when you find something you really want to do or have, you will have money to buy it.

9. Better Relationships
When you stop trying to impress people and begin to connect with them, just be yourself, your relationships will definitely improve. Great relationships are built on shared experiences and great memories.

10. Lifetime Memories
When you begin to move focus from possessions to memories, you not only have more space in your closet, you will have enough great memories to keep you smiling for a lifetime.

That is what great life is all about.

Transformation through exercise

A lot of my friends thought that I join Lose to Win is to lose weight. My key motivation is to have a healthy and balance lifestyle. I thought of putting some good tips which I learned along the way.

Mindset
Health is our first wealth. Without health, don't even need to talk about other things in life. Be clear and specific of what you want to get at the end of the day. ie for the current goal, I will eat 2 fruits per day and walk 10,000 steps per day. 90% of the time, I have achieved these 2 goals because they are easy to achieve and these two goals are what I really want to do, not by force or external pressure. Losing weight is hard when we are not focus, and didn't have a positive mindset that we will REALLY lose weight. Visualize the healthier self. This helps us to keep in mind that it is achievable.

Food Nutrients
Have you heard food as medicine? When we learned how to treat our body well, our body will live a long time. Learned more about each food properties. This can help us to cook better food and intake the good nutrients from the food. Find health nutritionist / health coach that can advise you on the varieties of food. Raw and Fresh vegetables and fruits are still the best because it has the most nutrients that our body needs. Cut down on meat if we are a meat lover ie Have it as one palm size. If we can take care of what we eat, we can reduce the chances of high risk in chronic diseases. Never have quick fix solutions on diet. It is expensive and not sustainable.

Exercise
By right, we "should" exercise everyday. However, due to our hectic lifestyle, it is almost impossible. However, I learned that I need blend in 3 times exercise into my lifestyle. Outdoor activities are great. I used to join California membership and the membership is expensive, not sustainable. Hence, I have allocated Tues bootcamp at Stadium Gate 2, Thurs Walk in the Park /Fri Kickboxing at J8 and Sunday Zumba class at Bishan Park. I noticed that my goal that I set was "to exercise 2 times a week and eat fruits weekly" but this goals were not set specific enough. Now, I have edited it to be more specific and it can be measured.

Sleep
To sleep before 11am, I still couldn't achieve this as I am still blogging away. I wanted to keep this points down before I forgot. I will continue to strive to achieve this. I remembered Jessy told me to make a point to sleep 15mins each time before the previous day. Ie 12am, shift it to 11.45pm and then 11.30pm. 11.15pm and finally 11pm. Make it a habit. Once it becomes a routine, our body will be able to rest well at 11pm. Having sufficient rest is important, it sets the energy right and we will feel good about ourselves the next morning.

All is possible when we set our heart, our mind and our consciousness alighted. Good luck!

Marie Kondo: "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up"

I am very inspired by Marie Kondo's ways of tidy up the room. After watching her google talk. Today, I woke up and start to organise my wardrobe. I took her advice to tidy up within a short period of time, put things in categories and only keep things that are useful, makes me happy and beautiful things that brings me joy.

Normally, I find tidy up the room is a chore, I will procrastinate until I can't take it anymore and I will do it. Surprisingly, for the first time, I don't have such feeling. In fact, I go through all my clothes, looking at each pieces one by one, deciding if it makes me happy or I need to let go.

After going through the processes, I notice that my dresses were used to all over the places, so are shirts and other items. Now, I categorize my clothing in terms of types: dresses, tshirts, blouses, shorts, pants, skirts, towels, belts, scarves, socks, hats and inner wear. Each of the categories have it's own space and I only keep those that I will wear. This arrangement will save me lots of time and effort, looking for the "right type" of clothing for the day.

I found out that I have 11 towels that I haven't use before. I gave all to mum and she is very happy. I am happy too because my wardrobe no longer clutter and it is a place where I can select my favourite clothing for the day. This is the type of strategic tidy up that I have been looking for.

I notice a lot of people are like me, always thinking that the piece of item will be use at later time. Honestly, once you didn't touch it for a year, most likely you won't use it anymore. So just let it go! I also realised at a lot of people do not know how to tidy up the space in a correct manner. This is a great skill to master.

Other people may feel, it is just tidy up the place. I personally feel it is more than that. It is therapeutic, it helps me to rethink, what kind of ideal space that I need that can help me to improve my thoughts, my creativity and makes me feel joyful and calm.
I really want to thank that I have found the right teacher to guide me how to be an effective and efficient life organiser.

Happy Box

Today I went out with Huimin. She keeps looking for a container. Finally, we found a suitable container at NBC.

I asked her why does she needs such a huge container? She told me that she wants to put the happy thoughts, reflection and good deeds in this container. I thought that it's a great idea, so I told her that I wanted to join her as well.

The staff of NBC told us one of them is the display set and the other one is new. As huimin wanted to check if other stores have such container, she told the staff to keep the 2 containers for an hour. Checking on other stores, we cannot find any containers to our likings. In the end, we go back to NBC.

As we are at the counter, huimin spotted a container that store some stationery. She asked if they sell the container. The staff is very helpful said that she can help us to find as they have spare containers.

We are very happy and fortunate to find this free, happy box! Huimin and I decided to dedicate the first well wishes to this kind and helpful staff of NBC!

I decorated with a beautiful ribbon to make the happy box to be more pleasantly looking! hee hee :D

刘德华

这是我第一次谈到刘德华。他是我童年的偶像，就算我不是他的超级小粉丝。我确实听他的歌曲，看他的电影长大的。

虽然我已经不崇拜他了，今晚在电视节目里，才真正的了解他一点点，还是有让我学习的地方。确实媒体的影响力很大，可以把一个普通人，包装成一位巨星。把他最好的放大几倍。在他被媒体的呵护下，他的“完美”形象就出炉了。

刚出道的时候，他需要靠包装展现他的的魅力。但是如今的他是靠他真正的实力展现他的魅力。这一路来，他默默耕耘，当然也会有不顺利的时候，但他经常鼓励自己下一次会成功。对他来说，拿奖并不是让他最开心的。是身边的人，扶持他，鼓励他让他更有信心做得更好。自己要创造自己的路。有缺点，就要改，这样才能进步。

有人问他如果有一天他不在被媒体重视了，他会怎样？他坦然的说没关系，他还有人品。

Relaxing Sunday

Yesterday went for Metta Run with Siew. Really enjoyed running with her. Although we ran at different speed from time to time. I still feel supported with her around. I think that is why our friendship is so special, there is not necessary to be together 24/7, yet we are comfortable with each other.

Today my body starts to ache. Last night before sleep, my feet was swollen, luckily the swollen has subsided. I guess due to let of stretching exercise. Today is a relaxing day for me, I didn't do much, just washing of family clothing and went to nap. Unfortunately, I didn't have a beautiful dream. I dreamt that Siangming (ex bf) came back to me to ask me for money and he came with his son. In my dream, I was already quite well-to-do. However, I rejected his request and I woke up. When I reflected on my dream, I guess it is really hard for me to give another person a second chance. It is really about the trust that was once built was broken after so many years. No doubt it was just a dream, it felt real. One good thing about it, I don't feel upset about it as I have forgiven him and myself. We are not meant to be. On a second thought, why guys keep asking me for money. Am I so gullible or too trusting? I think I must be more alert when comes to money!

Bad dream aside, I had a good dinner with my family and my aunt tonight. My aunty offered to pay for the dinner. She is generous :) As we are debating who should win the vote. I realised both my mum, my aunty and myself are on the same side and my dad and my sis are on the other side. We both have our views. Nevertheless, I do hope that the voting results would be fair and justice. Win like a gentleman!

Mindful Living

Yesterday while waiting for Siew, I went into Kikki stationary shop. As I browse through the items. I saw a few lovely personal enhanced books comes in a series such goals, happiness, mindfulness and gratitude. I was attracted by the mindfulness book. I liked the quote in the book: “Wherever you are, be all there!” ― Jim Elliot

I think this is what mindfulness is all about. I continued to flipped the book. There are some good questions to reflect.
1) How are you feeling right now?
2) What are the things that are working for you now?
3) What are the things that are not working for you?
4) What will you do to improve the situation?

I have been following Dr Wayne Dyer's teaching for some time. Some of his sharing are inspiring to me such as: When you squeeze an orange, you'll always get orange juice to come out. What comes out is what's inside. The same logic applies to you: when someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, or says something unflattering or critical, and out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, tension, depression, or anxiety, that is what's inside. If love and joy are what you want to give and receive, change your life by changing what's inside.

This is also considered mindful living. Do you know that Dr Wayne has been writing journal all his life? That is because he wants to have the self awareness, to understand himself better, to understand what life is about, to connect with people.

Through the learning from Ven. Master Hsing Yun and Dr Wayne, I feel that I benefited a lot from them. They are great leaders and yet they are humble and impart their wisdom and compassion to us. I am really very thankful towards them. I no longer need to seek for others approval, by just believing in myself. Using my own compassion and wisdom to guide my own path and others.

I will start my journaling again Lol :D

Educating myself on managing finance

Today can called a new rebirth for me as these past few months, I started to educate myself about money and how can I manage money better and benefit myself and people around me. It feels great to receive a decent salary from my own business. Using my talent and skills to bring me out of the situation.

Looking back past year, who on earth would be so insensible to give a stranger $22,000 just because he is in need of money? I truly learned my mistakes, there are truly scammers, liars and cheaters in this world, who can tell you sad stories to con you in believing their sad stories. Although I still have $12,000 to return to my father and sister, I am confident that I am able to deliver my promise for the next year and I will be debt free!

I can't blame anyone other than myself for being so naive and too trusting, thinking that it is real story. But I also learned to forgive myself and making sure that I will not be a victim any more.

Through this drama, I learn that how money is important to our daily life and we should respect money. Money can be beneficial to our needs, help the genuine charity organisations and give our love ones better living life. I have also put aside money for gratification to reward myself for the hardwork that I have contributed, to acknowledge and pamper myself and my family.

Why people lie and cheat?
I guess due to their poor upbringing, they have bad experiences and wanted to revenge or they found the short term benefits of conning people. These will not last and eventually they lost themselves. I do hope that one day, they will repent and walk back the right path. May they be enlighten.

There is such thing as karma, whatever these people do, they need to pay back whatever they have done. I may not have the opportunity to see it. It doesn't matter to me as I have learned my lesson and move on.

Mid Year Review 2015

Mid Year Review: Last night spend some time to reflect what I have done in the past and what I want to achieve in the future. I am pleased with some of the things I wrote have been completed and some are still in work in progress.

Required Attention

1) Spend quality time with the nature, exercising, meditate Sunday morning On-going

To have quality sleep. Make sure sleep before 11pm. Required Attention

Mindful of what I eat. Required Attention

I can be healthy from 59kg to 50kg. by eating nutritious food. Need to put in salad / cereals in my meals to allow my body have proper nutrients! Start by Mar 2015.

I will take good care of my body by listening to my body.

2) Increase knowledge through reading Read Everyday, 30 mins Start now 21^st July 2015

Pay attention through listening and observation.

Review weekly on my progress. Planning my schedule every Sunday.

3) Earns S$60,000 in 2015 for my business, S$20,000 in every quarter (Talk to Stephan, Alvin and find serious collaborations to discuss this)

Finding more businesses with Elaine for our design business to sustain our current lifestyle at least $20,000 in every 3 month Focus on building business relationships. Earning $20,000 for first 6 months currently. Need to put in more effort in business. Required Attention

4) Craft 28 Aug Humorous Speech (30 July) and 19 Sept Meeting (15 Aug), use personal stories by Jun 2014

5) Visit Aunty Lyn, Uncle Bob in between July to Sep 2015

6) Creative Painting Deliver Acrylic Painting/Artwork every 3 months

7) Write a Book. B+  By Dec 2015. Attend 25-27 Sep 2015 How to publish a book.

8) Reduced time on Facebook.

On-Going

1) Continue to build bonding and spend quality time with family and friends

2) Teaching Mi Tuo Students every Saturday morning, 9.30am – 11.30am.
    Starts on 24th January 2014. 3^rd year now.

3) Spend time on my Business

Focus on the type of customers and values

4) Meetup with Business Owners, Build goodwill Network every 2 times a week Giving Referrals

5) Wellness

Mediate 5 mins, twice daily.

Exercise 3 times a week: Every Mon, Wed and Sunday (Swimming / Other interesting Exercise) 

Many people find that goal settings do not work. My learning is we have to take actions in order to make it work. Aligned your goals with your purpose, beliefs and values. Be specific such as set realistic timeline. Review your goals at least once a week to ensure that you are on the right track or make small adjustments to suit the reality. Finally, be focus and committed to your goals.

3 Important Questions

Setting Goals with the ends in mind helps us to bring our life more meaningfully.

1) What kind of experiences I want to have?

Being happy

Travel with my love ones

Having quality time with family and friends, connecting with them deeper

Joy

Trust

Loving

Bonding

2) What kind of growth do you want to have?

Confidence can be built through daily practice, Be more, Do more.

Leadership

Increased in Wisdom (Clarity)

Able to dealt with issues with solutions

Mediation daily (Increase in intuition and clarity
Stabilise my emotions 

Exercise 3 times a week

Eating healthy

Reaching ideal weight 50kg

3) What do I want to contribute to the society?

Give people my attention 100%, be it family, friends or person who is with me at the moment

Give insights to people

Exhibit 1 art work once a year

Write book to provide knowledge to people

Educating people

Volunteer

Some of them I am doing it, some are still work in progress. My experiences it is more towards relationship building. Inside of me wanted to educate people. That's why the ultimate role is to become a teacher. 

One teacher told me teacher is like a candle, to burn the wick is to light up the wisdom in students' heart.

Go with the flow

A good friend of mine once said,"Go with the flow and your life will be smoother." Little did I know what she meant until I experience it myself.

These few years, I have been meeting intuitive people, art therapists, even venerables, they all said about going with the flow.

I wasn't open previously, I guess... This year I decided to be more open, things start to flow. I am more receiveable about my own intuition, more open about new ideas, able to adapt changes easier. These are the growth in me.

I felt that I no longer uptight to my bad experiences. I understand that it's part of my learning. I feel more safe now. I realised being a control freak devalued my life, I learn to go with the flow, my world has changed for the better.

Yesterday, attended an art experiential session. It's about drawing the past, present and future doors. I gained a lot of insights. From inward looking to outward looking. From current situation to the outcome. I feel positive and hopeful.

I am still working on myself. I guess life is the best teacher because it never lies.

你不知道的事

创作灵感：
《你不知道的事》是由王力宏作词、作曲并演唱的一首歌，这首歌也是电影《恋爱通告》的主题曲。王力宏在电影中向女主角刘亦菲“求爱”之歌。刘亦菲原本写了情诗给学校中爱慕的学长，结果学长不领情，王力宏在剧中把这首情诗改编成情歌，写成《你不知道的事》唱给刘亦菲，让刘亦菲发现原来王力宏深爱着她，借着情歌求爱成功。

感想：
感觉这首歌有丝情画意的感觉。一首不能说出来的感情，正符合电影的情节。让我从中学习到创作人必须有的条件：感情要丰富，有共鸣，才能感动大家的作品。

歌词：
蝴蝶眨几次眼睛 才学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星 但几颗会落地
我飞行 但你坠落之际
很靠近 还听见呼吸
对不起 我却没捉紧你

你不知道我为什麽离开你
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像 倾盆大雨 碎了满地
在心里清晰

你不知道我为什麽狠下心
盘旋在你看不见的高空里
多的是 你不知道的事

蝴蝶眨几次眼睛 才学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星 但几颗会落地
我飞行 但你坠落之际
很靠近 还听见呼吸
对不起 我却没捉紧你

你不知道我为什麽离开你
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像 倾盆大雨 碎了满地
在心里清晰

你不知道我为什麽狠下心
盘旋在你看不见的高空里
多的是 你不知道的事
我飞行 但你坠落之际

你不知道我为什麽离开你
我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像 倾盆大雨 碎了满地
在心里清晰

你不知道我为什麽狠下心
盘旋在你看不见的高空里
多的是 你不知道的事

爱不持久

收音机每天都在播放这首歌。忍不住的想看歌词的内容。原来是小S作词, 作曲, 难怪她能唱出那么有感情的歌。

歌词：
爱 不可能持久
尤其当一个人怀疑自己的时候
本来很甜蜜的话 现在却像在吵架
如果没有人先承认自己还爱对方
爱就变成挣扎

爱 不可能持久
尤其当你开始怀疑我不爱你的时候
本来想牵你的手 现在却觉得尴尬
如果没有人先承认自己还爱对方
爱就变成挣扎

我不想失去你 又不知道如何表达
我爱你明明就在心里面回荡
我不想失去你 又不知道如何表达
下次多希望你能够鼓起勇气说话

爱 不可能持久
尤其当你开始怀疑我不爱你的时候
本来想牵你的手 现在却觉得尴尬
如果没有人先承认自己还爱对方
爱就变成挣扎

我不想失去你 又不知道如何表达
我爱你明明就在心里面回荡
我不想失去你 又不知道如何表达
下次多希望你能够鼓起勇气说话

我不想失去你 又不知道如何表达
我爱你明明就在心里面回荡
我不想失去你 又不知道如何表达
下次多希望你能够鼓起勇气说话

Digitize my journal

As I was tidy up my room, I saw a few loose journals in my drawer. I read through and decided to summarize and digitize the content here.

The journals was written in 2010. Most of them were written about the happening in each day. Some stories stand out better than the rest, such as my personal growth and insights, relationship with family and past romance. Most of the articles are surround by love, forgiveness and understanding.

1. The acceptance of who I really am. The relationship with myself has greatly improved. (4 years old heart work!) I am honest with myself now. Look into my heart whenever I needed the answers. It is safe to admit truth with myself.
2. Lessons on Assertiveness. Be clear of my intent and purpose. Be firm about it. Clarity brings wisdom.
3. The love for my family.
4. Spend time with friends and understand them.
5. Letting go of my past romance.I feel neutral about past relationships as they are over. Now, I see the past relationships are experiences that I have gained, be it good or bad. These experiences definitely help me to become a better person in dealing with relationships.
6. Love and be passionate with my career. Give 100% focus and commitment. Easily attached and detached from work that I truly care.
7. Contribution to the society.
8. Celebrate every small successes.

I am inviting

• Continuing the connection with myself.
• My relationships are real and genuine.
• Wisdom is my daily life.
• Body is healthy when I am 80 years old to enjoy trekking at the mountains or forest.
• Love and Passion into my life.
• Creativity, Communication, Confidence, Commitment, Courage and Clarity into my life.
• Peace, Joy and Happiness are here for stay.

Health Promise, Self Love

This morning, I woke up feeling determine and motivated.

On this Valentine's Day, start loving myself by taking good care of my wellbeing in a holistic way.

This statement I really mean what I say. I will take care of my body. Drink and eat mindfully and rest before 11.30pm. I will put my well being in the first place.

I am aware that my health needs to be earned. Hence, I am investing good health into my life.

Do you really want for a better life?

Everyone of us wants a better life. But are we willing to put in the right effort to make sure that we really do and be committed about it?

I was sharing with my own limiting self belief with a friend who is a magician. He is very outspoken and he just say 3 words: Just do it.

His words just blown me away. Yes, I also thought that I lack of actions. My dreams will not materialise until I choose to do it.

Here are 3 tips that I feel they are necessary to make things happen.

1. Define what we really want.
When the picture of our goal is clear and specific, it will be easier to make the changes and do something about it.

Ask ourselves: what do we really, really want? Look within.

2. Believe in ourselves.
Imagine ourselves having it already. When we allow ourselves to believe that we CAN make the changes we want to make, then starting to make them becomes that much easier.

3. Take a small step every single day.
It takes 30 days before things start to change and new habits take place. Decide that what we want is really important to us, and commit to making an effort towards reaching it every single day. There's no time like the present! Take up journaling, and write out our thoughts about the important issues we raise in making change. Be prepared to be uncomfortable and to rock the boat. (Change is not for the faint of heart.)

We have already decided that what we want is worth it, so when we're tempted to sink into the couch and watch another TV show, or when we're headed to the kitchen to mindlessly shovel food into our mouth, or when our credit card is whipped out and ready to make another numbing purchase, decide that right now is the moment we're going to change.

Inviting ourselves to do something more purposeful. Educating ourselves that we can be focus and committed to change for better life.

Back to the Basic

Going to the Basic is great because

• It simplifies things.
• It de-clutters the mind and space.
• It improves performance.
• It surfaces level of importance.
• It helps to bring clarity.

I allow myself to unlearn to relearn. Being basic is just simply amazing :)

世界唯一的妳

Watched Cao Ge's music interview. He shared about the story behind this song. This song is inspired by a cat who had skin rashes. At that moment, his career also at the lowest point. He spend time taking care of the cat until it has fully recovered.

At first, he thought he has saved the cat. Later, he realised that the cat gives him the opportunity to love and care unconditionally and be free from his downtime. Very touching story. That is why this video has cats.

He also mentioned that he connects better people through music. For me, I connect better with people through design. Design is my form of expression. It is always touching to see how beings touches each other lives intentionally or unintentionally. We are love and light.

A Healing Journey to the Center of Myself

I am connected to this article. Hence, I would like to share it here.

Via Antonia Rothschild on Jan 11, 2015
I am beginning to see now just what it is I have done for myself in this lifetime.

I am beginning to understand the extent and the depth of the work that I have done with and on behalf of myself. I am beginning to allow for the seeds that I so bravely planted within to truly take root and to crack open the surface and begin to show. And with this I am beginning to acknowledge just how grateful I am for my own persistency, courage and unwavering faith.

Sure, there have been moments when my mind has questioned just about everything and I have felt like giving up; I am even sure there are many more of those moments to come.

But at the end of the day I still have myself to thank for pulling myself through the tough stuff and believing in the good of all. I have stared myself in the eyes and oscillated between feeling intense self-loathing and good old unconditional love.

However dark things have sometimes been, I never forgot about the light.

I am beginning to see that I have really been there for myself through it all. I am seeing that all of the past little versions of me have brought me safely to this moment, this magnificent moment we call the present.

So, without neglecting the importance of the people who have always been around, I realize that I, more than anyone, am to thank for this precious moment. Just as much as I am to blame for all the times I have not acknowledged the geniality and beauty of life I am, also to thank for all those other times when I actually did manage to open my eyes to the wonder of the world.

Blame has no purpose, I know that now. Even what we perceive as mistakes and all that we take on as guilt which wears us down has a reason too: to teach us lessons in unconditional love.

I understand it is rather rare and uncomfortable to see yourself as the hero of your own life, and I suppose it is because people seldom feel capable of this. We are also seldom encouraged to be the divine hero of our own lives.

We need to be willing to ask for support, to let others be there for us. But without faith in our own potential and without our own support to ourselves, we are mere infants helplessly wandering this hazardous earth.

So once we have physically grown beyond the stage of infancy we must slowly but surely metaphysically grow into our own loving parent, god or goddess.

Without developing this inward support of the self, we cannot embody the full magnitude of who we have the potential to become. Parents teach us about this, they are the examples of the loving parents that we are meant to develop within by showing us how to love us unconditionally.

Though all parents are flawed and make mistakes of their own, we must strive to become the better parent and learn from all given lessons. The better parent is the one who loves even more, not in a competitive way, but in a forgiving, brave, naked and vulnerable way.

The better parent is the person who loves him/herself extensively through everything and who, thanks to this love, knows how to love all other beings and moments just the same way, and who dedicates his/her life to simply be an expression of that love. The better parent is he/she who forgives their own parents and all others just as he/she forgives himself for he/she understands that all things are merely different aspects of the same thing: the desire for love to express itself in one way or another.

I want to thank my inner parent, my divinity within, for never leaving me and for helping me get back to where I can see the bigger picture, for taking care of and comforting all my inner children who were once hurt, holding their hands until they were finally ready to leave happily and allow me to continue onto the next adventure.

It is not without humility that I bow down to my own inner being because I for one know the resistance I have many times put up. The beauty of it is that in seeing that it is this unconditionally loving being of light within me that brought me to be. I can now peacefully merge with it. With all the gratitude my heart can bear, I now surrender to my own magnificence, allowing for all the love it holds to be expressed entirely and freely through me.

Because she the human being that isn't just the facilitator of love; she is love manifested.