Day 12: Working relationships

I got the PIER71 project from NUS Enterprise. I feel blessed and thankful to work with Priscilla. Even though she has her own ideas, she is a good working partner. She makes my design work even better.

We started the project in Sept and completed this project in Nov 2020. I feel quite good working with her. She makes me think and become better designer. I like the working synergy with her.

I am also glad that Edy also put in his best efforts to complete the project. Thanks for him to help me in delivering quality website for PIER71. This is one of the meaningful projects that I have done. Thank you.

Today, I want to attract nice clients who trust and want to work with me.

Day 11: Resting

After busy for past few weeks on 4 days of IOPT Conferences, NUS Enterprise Newsletter, PIER71 project and MTS Closing Ceremony, my body is asking me to take a break.

Reflected for past one year, I was either busy with my work, my study and my voluntary work, I hardly take a long rest for myself. I always put myself last before others. If I need to say sorry, the person I want to say sorry to is myself. Now I just want to treat myself a lot better.

Today, I allow myself to rest and be kind to myself.

Day 10: Teamwork

This year is my 8th year at Fo Guang Shan Children Dharma class. Today is also online closing ceremony of MTS Children Dharma Class. It is our first time doing it and it is a success. I am grateful. Behind every success, a lot of preparation needed to be done. I had learnt a lot through voluntary work at Mee Toh School.

Here are few of my important learnings and realisation.
1. Build good affinity with people around me.

2. Be ready to give. Giving is better than receive because you have more than others. Blessings will always come back to you.

3. Be clear of what kind of information I need to send out.

4. Be proactive. Help others whenever possible within my own means.

5. Learn to communicate with others. Misunderstanding arises when we choose to keep things to ourselves.

6. Organise my things through categories. Have a system that people understand.

7. Put myself in other people shoes. See it from other people perspectives.

8. When there are a lot of procedures. Prepare the SOPs so that others understand what are required to do and what is required to followup.

9. Always look out for good affinities so that I can leverage on other people skills and talents.

10. Learn to manage people expectations and find the harmony point where everyone can work well together. See other people strengths, instead of their weaknesses.

Day 9: I am

When I am being in the present moment, I am with myself.

I can see myself.
I am beautiful.
I am kind.
I am funny.
I am wise.
I am lovable.
I am creative.
I am sincere.
I am who I am.

I accept myself deeply and unconditionally.

Day 8: Self Mastery

There is something about sharing with others.
There is something about Connection.
There is training and development of yourself.
It is to enjoy with yourself, even by doing nothing.
One main aspect is to find the way and do things that you like to do.

Shaolin Master's Story
A man was staying near a mountain, everyday he was thinking:
How would it be to climb that mountain and what would I see on the peak?

Finally the day came, the man went on the journey. Arriving at the foot of the mountain, he met the first traveler, he asked,"How did you get up the mountain and what did you see from top of the mountain?" The traveler shared his path and also the view that he had. But then the man was thinking,"The way that the traveler described to me sounds very exhausting. I need to find another way to climb."

He continued to walk at the foot of the mountain until he saw the next traveler. Again, he asked,"How did you get up the mountain and what did you see from top of the mountain?" And the traveler shared his story. Still not able to determined on which direction and which way to go. The man asked 30 more people, 30 more travelers. When he finished talking to them, he finally made up his mind. "Now there are so many people shared with me their paths and what they saw from the top, I don't need to climb up there anymore."

It is very unfortunate this man never went on his journey.
1st, Each individual needs to find the most suitable way to climb the mountain.

2nd, There is information possible to be shared with words, but it is impossible to share the experience of clarity when you are standing on that peak by yourself. To invest the right effort in climbing that peak, clarity means you see more clearly.When you see more clearly, interrelations become more apparent.

When you see more clear, there is no need to believe anyone or believe anything. Seeing clear means you can distinguish for yourself which is the proper direction to take and which decisions do I have to make in order to make my goals or aspirations start to shape?

It is your own personal journey.

5 Hinderances of the Mind
1. Sensual Desires
2. Ill Will / Aversion
3. Dullness / Heaviness
4. Restlessness
5. Sceptical Doubt

You will need to align and structure your life in such a way to prevent those hinderances from arising. You need to use techniques to remove them. Simply remember one thing just let it rains.

4 Steps Solution
1. Recognise in what state of your mind is in.
2. Learn to accept, Acknowledge, Allow the situation or person to be the way how it is or the way how they are.
3. Investigate your emotional and mental state and asked questions, "Why did it come out? What is the consequences if I remain in that state?"
4. Non Identification: I am not the body, I am not the mind, I am not my emotions. I can see all these 3 aspects about me.

All our lives are too unique, to copy the path from someone else. To bring meaning into our lives, to bring value to our lives, we need to learn how to master ourselves.

Day 7: 9 Habits of Self-Made Millionaires

We are going to explore the million-dollar mindset. Remember, millionaires think and see the world very differently. Where most people see as problems, those people with millionaire's mindset see money-making opportunities. Where people see failures, millionaires see a valuable learning experience that will lead them into greater opportunities and wealth.

Wealth must first be created in the mind before it can be manifested into physical reality. I must be mentally wealthy before I can attract physical wealth.

What is the Million-Dollar Mindset?
Mindset -> Thoughts -> Actions -> Results
Met a situation
What would you think about?
How do you feel?
What would you do with a millionaire mindset? Take it as an opportunity.

Habit 1: Be a value creator
Value creators will never be out of job. Value creators have the habit of doing a lot more than expected. If they are paid $3,000, they will work as if they are paid $20,000. They create value for companies. As a result. their income is not considered as an expenses to the company, but a great investment.

Habit 2: Be pro active
People are proactive are people who take initiative to make things happen. When there are no opportunties, proactive people are those that go out to find opportunities. If they cannot find any, they will create their own opportunities. When problems get in their way, proactive people will take actions to solve their own problems! On the other hand, people exhibit the reactive mindset. People with reactive mindset have the habit of waiting for things to happen to them.

Habit 3: Take 100% Responsibility
Taking full responsibility for your results and wealth! When we find excuses or blame others for our circumstances, you are not in control. You do not have the power to change your circumstances. Take 100% responsibility for my own wealth. I believe that I alone create my wealth through my strategies and actions. As a resutlt, I know that I have the power to change my wealth by changing my strategies and actions. It is only when I live by this habit will I have the power to exponentially mutiply my income and wealth.

Habit 4: Delayed Gratification
What keeps most people from becoming rich is the habit of wanting instant gratification. Wanting instant gratification is the habit of always wanting to enjoy now and not having the patience to wait for future benefits. As the results, these people spend a lot more than they invest. There are 2 ways you can use your money. You can either spend it or invest it. When you spend it on things, $100 is gone with zero returns. When you invest $100 on seminars, books or stock, it will grow into $120, $200, $500, or even $1000, depending on the rate of return.

Instant Gratification: Spend > Invest
Delayed Gratification: Invest > Spend

Check on the things I am buying.

Habit 5: Do what You love
You can become a millionaire in ANY INDUSTRY, only you are one of the best! If you are not one of the best, you will never become rich in ANY industry. The answer is by being totally, absolutely 100% committed towards your particular career or business. People become the best at what they do only because they eat, sleep, breathe, talk and think their business 18 hours a day (sometimes they even dream about it as they sleep). In other words, they are totally obsessed with doing what they do and are constantly finding ways to do it better. The only way you can become totally obsessed and committed towards something is when you have a love and passion for it!

Unless you do what you love to do, you will never become rich.- Adam Khoo

Start asking myself...

• What do I love to do? What would I do even if I didn't get paid?
• If I had all the money in the world, how would I spend my time?
• Who are people who have made their fortunes around this passion I have?

I gurantee you that when you start looking for your own answers, you have no lack of role models you can learn from.

Habit 6: Acting with Integrity
Most self made millionaires share a common habit of personal integrity. Being honest with people was ranked number 1, in 733 multimillionaires, interviewed by Thomas Stanley, "The Millionaires Mind". What were the key factors that were contributed to their wealth.

It takes 20 years to build a reputation and 5 minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you will do things differently. - Warren E. Buffet

Habit 7: Be 100% Committed
There is a very big difference between wanting to become a millionaire and being 100% committed to becoming a millionaire. When it is merely a wish or a hope, it will rarely happen. When something become a MUST, you will do whatever it takes to get it done.

Habit 8: The ability to turn Failure into Success
The ability to accept failure and to turn it into success. Most people have the impression that successful people never fail and millionaires never lose money. It is a huge lie and distortion that prevents people from becoming rich.

The truth is everyone fails at one point or another. In fact, millionaires fail more times than anyone else because they take so much more actions. You will fail many times befoer you ever succeed. What is important is what you do about failure.

Success is the result of good judgement. Good judgement is the result of experience. Experience is th result of bad judgement. - Anthony Robbins

Habit 9: Respece and Love Money
I don't mean loving money to the extent that you are a slave to it but loving money for the good it can do for you and the people around you.

Many people who consciously desire to be rich and know that money is important. However at a deeper level they may not realise that their subconscious mind either holds many limiting beliefs about money or associate lots of negative feelings towards money. These negative associations cause them to repel money and prevent them from becoming rich, without even realising it.

If you come from a poor or middle class family, there is a good chance that you may have been taught that "money isn't everything", "money doesn't grow from trees", "rich people are greedy", "money is not important", if you have a lot of money, people will cheat you", "investing is risky", "money will change you".

As the result, your subconscious mind associates so much fear, hate and negative feelings towards money that it will stop you from ever becoming rich. You may feel this inner power struggle inside you such that although you set your goals to become rich, but somehow, you sabotage your own sucess every time you achieve a certain level of wealth. Your inner mind won't allow you to become rich as it would give you more "problems" or make you into a "bad person".

It is really important to stop for a while and really reflect about the innter feelings you have towards money. Set aside your pre-judgements and really think about the sub conscious beliefs and feelings that you associate with money.

Day 6: Why do I want to be rich?

The reasons I want to be rich are
1. I want to be worry free about money.
2. I want to be financially free.
3. I want to improve the quality of my life.
4. I want to travel around the world and learn from wise people.
5. I want to help people through my wealth.
6. I want to have my own comfortable living space ie own landed property.

7 Steps to Financial Abundance
1. Adopt Millionaire Mindset
Think differently, take actions differently and produce vast different outcome.
Adopt different sets of beliefs and habits and allow myself to see opportunities than problems.

2. Set Finanical Clear Goals
Wealth never happens by chance. It always begin with a clear goal in mind.
At one point in the life, I made the decision to become rich. This is the moment.

3. Create a Finanical Plan
Once I have set a specific financial targets of how much do I want to earn and how much money I want to accumulate. I can develop an effective plan to achieve my goal.

4. Massively increase my income
It is important to learn how to accelerate my financial plan and take massive actions.

5. Manage my money and reduce my expenses
Learn how to save and invest.

6. Grow my money at millionaire returns
Earn returns based on 15% - 25% investments with minimal risk.

7. Protect my fortune
Engage financial professionals to manage my wealth.

Day 5: Learning

As I am a much enthusiast in learning, after many years I felt that I finally reached to a point that I want to focus in my learning.

I have arrived at my own question. What do I really want to learn in this lifetime? I want to take back my own ownership. Not to let myself live my life day after day so aimlessly.

I want to learn
1. About myself
2. Gain my own clarity
3. How to regulate my own emotions
4. How to build a quality, trusted relationship
5. How to lead a meaningful life
6. How to improve on my communication skills
7. How to manage my own funds, build my own wealth
8. How to help others to improve themselves
9. How to build systems that can improve people lives


Today, I start to read Adam Khoo book on self made millionaire. I think millionaire is overrated. Seriously, only a handful of people are able to be an millionaire.

It's a well thought out game plan. Nothing is by accident. Only 3% of people are willing to invest their time, money and resources to build their own wealth or empire.

Instead of thinking what I can do, think about what I want to do. I can do anything I put my mind to!

I set "10am learning" where learning starts at 10am for me.

Day 4: Confidence

"Do not attempt to do a thing unless you are sure of yourself, but do not relinqish it simply because someone else is not sure of you." - Stewart E. White

Due to my poor results in my PSLE. I didn't have much self-confidence during secondary school. I didn't do well in my O'Levels as well. But after I repeat 1 year in Braddell Secondary school. I told myself I needed to work hard and improve my studies. I spent hours to understand, to "break the code" of studies. Finally I managed to score well with As and Bs and I have more choices. I chose multimedia as it looks more interesting. I never regret becoming a designer. Yes, it is hard work but it also gives me a lot of joy and fun.

Lesson of Confidence: Work and improve until you think you're good. Your people will think you are good too! The others don't matter.

Today's Affirmation: I have confidence in me!

Day 3: Process of Actualising

Visualising having the goal is the first step that is most important to master. Pick something small and practice on at first.

I tried to visualise every day I will get a seat in the train. True enough, 90% of the time, I will get it.

My relationship with money was really poor. I decided to make that shift. I respect money and I want money. I visualised that I have money in my bank account. Somehow things got better, My money starts to grow.

I told myself I will be able to wake up every day 6am. I did it because that is I truly what I want.

You have to believe and being in a positive state, good things will happen.

The process of actualising your desires is simple:
1. Pick a goal.
2. Visualise yourself having it.
3. Positively affirm having it.
4. Send out ships (taking actions) to get it.
5. Celebrate getting it!

Practice visualising what you want, instead of what you don't want. Enjoy the experience.

I visualise and create marvels in my life!

Day 2: Pursuing my MeTime

This morning I woke up 5.35am in the morning. I feel really good in waking up early. I have more me time. Spend time with myself until 10am. I also tidy up a little bit on my bookself. I want to arrange my things in a way that I can easily assess my resources. Space to me is very important. I want to put in efforts to connect with myself. I enjoy the calmness and peace within me.

Today sort of having farewell with my longest childhood friend. I am happy for her at least she is pursuing her happiness. I think to myself. I wanted to travel around the world. I can't even dare to step out of my country right now. Perhaps I will start small, go to places that I feel safe. That is a good start to begin with.

See myself tomorrow ya!

Day 1: Renew myself

I am back and things have changed.

Close to almost 5 years, Jan 2016. Where has my time gone to?

I decided to come back reason is because it is one way to connect back with myself and to see how much I have evolved over these years. I am shocked that my blog images have been modified.

I just grab a template and just amend to a new one. Simple and nice. No sweat over it.

Number 8 feels like infinity. The purpose of coming back is to put myself into a challenge of habits. I will sleep by 11pm, oops it is 11.30pm already and I need to wake up at 6am. 66 Days is just about ending of this year, 2 more months and start a new fresh with mental preparedness. I believe it is possible and I want to do 66 Days Transformation. :O)

See myself tomorrow! Yay!

How to Wake Up Early

66 Days Transformation

Thanks to Samuel who introduced Robin Sharma, 5am club video. Many years back I read his book about 5am club. In my heart, I was like "What??? It is not possible." Now I feel that I wanted to wake up early at 5am because I want to be more productive. According to Robin Sharma, 5am - 8am is 3 Golden hours and improve the quality of my life.

Prepare my mind, heart and body. I am not reactive, I am in control, I will be reconnected with my mission. Let me start the routine on 27 July 2018. I know it is possible and it can be done. I wanted to reconnect with myself again. It takes 66 days for the new habits to form and I am excited about it. Today, I wake up at 6am without any alarm clock :) I rewatch it again and it reingite the desire to wake up early and catch the fresh air of Golden Hours.

Journal Day 43: Self Care

Today I spent the whole day with myself.

I feel calm and collected. I decided to rewrite all the contents into a new book and store the content in blogger because I think it is good for me to reap what I have written since beginning of 2020. Every end has a new beginning and surprisingly I stopped at Journal Day 43 which is the same age as I am having right now. I am always feel so awe by how life leads me. I am grateful for the positive experiences and the negative experiences that makes me realise how to move myself forward.

I allow myself to rest and I feel a lot better and recharged myself. I learnt a lot of things in these 10 months. In fact, It was really, really amazing experiences for me. I love and I appreciate my life a lot better.

Learnings
* I learnt how to love myself
* I learnt how to spend time with myself, without feeling awkward by loved
* I learnt how to manage my finances, which is amazing, my mind just blown away
* I learnt how to say Yes to myself
* When I ignored myself, I am disconnecting with myself
* When I listened to myself, I feel more empowered, joy and I feel more assurance and being cared for!

Journal Day 42: Do what I love

Today is a special day.
We celebrated Dad's birthday.
Thanks Ah Yang for preparing delicious po piah for us. I bought Pine Garden's Pulut Hitam Cake, it was delicious and not too sweet.

I helped to rep for a china lady. I was the "challenge".

It makes me realised that
When I do something I don't like, I feel stressed and unmotivated.

When I do something I enjoy, I feel energised, motivated and loved.
I want to connect with myself more.

Journal Day 41: Service leadership

Excellence is not a boost.

It is a labour of Love for what it can be better.

It is about leading by example and leaving a legacy.

Service leadership in my activity in my profession and in my life.

Journal Day 40: Confident Rachel

I am grateful that Evelyn allows me to view the videos, working on my own beliefs and values.

Step into wise and confident Rachel
Sensing the Future Rachel
I want to claim it now. I can feel it now.

Feel and believe
* 90 days challenge
* What do I need to do today?
* Imagine what is confident Rachel is doing now.
* Where am I pioritising my time and energy?

* Imagine what is confident Rachel is doing now.
- Rachel will wake up on time.
- Rachel goes for her daily exercise, eat plant-based diets
- Rachel rest for awhile, makes herself feel comfortable before she starts her day.
- Rachel organises and plans what she will do for the day
- Rachel will know what she is doing
- Rachel will ask whenever she is unclear
- Rachel will be decisive in what she wants
- Rachel has clarity in her life

* Where am I pioritising my time and energy?
- Promoting my calling (create conversations)
- Must get into conversations
- Build Trust
- Show A to B
- Create Desire, Set Expectations
- Selling High ticket items with Values

Go through the videos again
Day 1: Tapping Fear of Rejection

Journal Day 39: Birthday Rest

I give myself a Birthday Rest. As Tessa is back in Singapore, she said she is okay to spend some time with me.

We went to Gardens by the Bay for morning walk and in the end, we walked to Marina Bay Sands and having a nice tea at TWG Singapore and a nice memory book!
Now that Tessa has passed the book to me, it's my turn to update it! Hehehe. I enjoyed my day and be happy and healthy!

Journal Day 38: Set up healthy boundaries

Tonight, 6 Oct 2020, Mum triggered me with the things in the kitchen. I can't believe that she doesn't have the tolerance to put my things there in the cupboard.

For the entire house, I am only allowed to put my things in my room. I feel so sad and disappointed.

Another triggered on 15 Jan 2021, she is more concerened with her dry floor than me bathing in her bathroom.

How can my parents treat me like that. I am a human being, not things.

Am I just a passbyer in their eyes? I can't help but feeling that I needed to move out of the house to gain back my healthy autonomy and my freedom.

I am really, really feeling upset about it.

Now I really feel that it is good to set healthy boundaries for myself and others.

Journal Day 37: Make Money Easily

I did a healing process with Evelyn today.

I want to resolve money issues with Parents.

After healing I feel much better.

I addressed the issue that money is hard to earn.
I feel that money is easy to earn now, I trust myself more.

The next day, Dad just gives me money readily.

I told my business partner the amount that I want. He agreed to give me. More importanly, I need to find time to make sure I can deliver. I will negiotiate with him on the timeline.

Reflection: it is indeed that money is easier to make compare to the past. I cherish the people and opportunties that comes into my life.

Journal Day 36: Picking up my pieces

Today I feel thankful to have a groupd of well connected friends to celebrate my birthday.

It is indeed heartening to be with people that I loved, care about and want to be with.

Just now I broke a bottle of Ketchup. I felt helplessness in the beginning. But I told myself I will be able to clear the mess myself. After half an hour, I managed to pick up all the broken pieces and clean up the sauces on the floor. I fel that the broken pieces are parts of me. Big and small pieces of me. I picked them up one by one.

When I was impatient with myself, I hurt myself. Hence, I got a small cut, just now. Probably inside me, felt the pains and want to be seen by me. Feeling a little bit better after I cleared up the mess.

Good Job, Rachel!

Journal Day 35: Self Support

Today I felt overwhelmed because I was having a lot of activities.

1) Speak to Bhawani about NUS Newsletter Layouts.
2) Tech support for the China Clients.
3) Tech Support training with German Teams. I need to practise more on sharing screen.

Some of the surviving strategies that I had
1) Fall sick
2) Get Injured
3) Food Addiction (Junk Food)
4) Seeking validation and Perfection, Self critic (Not Good Enough)

Truth is we will never meet expectations.
Stop hurting myself.
Surviving strategies keep me away from the truths.

Why I need the money $100k?
1) Escape from Parents (Surviving Strategy)
2) Independance (Healthy Autonomy)
3) I want to support myself (Healthy Autonomy)

Journal Day 34: Random Thoughts 2

Today I give a webinar talk on "Creating Memorable Websites" It was pretty smooth, except I forgot to on my audio in my video.

I am glad that I built more trust with Edy, Hopefully, our partnership will work well.

Today I had an illogical night with the gals. It was silly, amused and fun. Although it was a bit awkward in the beginning.

I will give myself a hug tonight. I need it.

Journal Day 33: Hold hands together

Today is Mid Autumn Festival.
Full moon means completeness.

My family went to Bishan park for a walk. It was heartwarming when Ting Ting wants us to hold our hands together. Although Dad holds my hand, he can't give love to me anymore.

It is okay I can love myself now.

3 Things I can do for myself.
1) Stop all abusing, critical harsh words on myself
2) Feel my own passion, heart desires
3) Build strong connection with myself

Journal Day 32: #myself

Tonight I helped Becky to do her intention: Why am I afraid of success?

Her process triggers the fear in me too.
Fear of Hardship
Fear of Doing too many things
Fear of Rejection
Fear of Being Judge
Fear of Showing up

I also don't allow myself to cry in the past. But I do now. If I really need to cry, I just allow myself to cry.

I need to focus on myself.
Allow myself to feel what I am feeling right now.
Allow myself to feel sadness within me.
What am I struggling right now?
Show empathy for myself.
Listen to myself.
#myself

Journal Day 31: Random Thoughts

Today I had a zoom meeting with Edy. Glad that he is open for ideas and align with him quite well.

I also met Christie, had a good conversation with her. I learnt to make sure she can commit before I proceed.

Ee Dzu was stressed with her work. Hope that I can guide her to destress. Hope that she can come out with her own solutions that she can accept and agree with.

Happy to make mooncake with Swee Chen and some of the GBA ladies.

As for myself, I feel that recently I am more focus and at ease with the things I want to do and achieved them. Good news is I won a free healing session with Evelyn. I hope I can heal myself and able to receive another breathroughs.

The most interesting part of these random thoughts is that they might not be random after all. Scientists think that these memories are trying to help you solve a problem.

Scientists believe that random thoughts are likely the result of memory processing and also creative thinking. You may start to notice that you have mind-pops more often when you have a problem that you want to solve.

It’s as if you have told your brain to search for things that can help you solve the problem and your brain responds with random things that are connected.

Why Random Thoughts are Actually Important, Backed By Science

People who experience frequent random thoughts tend to rate higher on tests of creative thinking. In a study of the brains of research subjects and their random thoughts, ‘High-frequency mind pops were significantly associated with “larger grey and white matter volume in the prefrontal cortex. This increase in mind pops is also linked to higher creativity and the personality trait of ‘openness.”

HOW YOU CAN MAXIMIZE RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR YOUR BENEFIT
Being mindful is the best way to make use of random thoughts to enhance your creativity. Here are a few ideas to help you allow your random thoughts solve problems for you:

* Dwell on the random thought for 90 seconds – Sing along with the song or immerse yourself in the memory that was brought up.

* Read 7 Things That Keep You From Living in the Now – Our guide to avoiding things that keep you from being mindful will help you make use of random thoughts when they happen.

* Think briefly about your current problem – What is it that you are currently struggling with?

* Think about how the random thought connects to the problem – Is there a connection between the random thought and the problem?

Journal Day 30: Make an effort, not an excuse.

Today I feel like renew myself so I reselect my message. It says,"Make an effort, not an excuse" How adaptly!

Jia Huey commented my room is too dark. I took her advice and go to Lazada to by a new portable light stand. I think it is useful for me for recording as well. It is an investment for my business.

I find that the audio is too lengthy and I made an effor to shorten the clip, so that it doesn't take up my space.

I took efforts to find out what exactly needed to be done. Making efforts made me feel that I am contributing, I am living in the present moment.

I will put in effort in Pier71 microsite and posters. It has become more manageable.

Journal Day 29: Self Care: I want myself

Today, I give myself two rounds of exercise. Zumba@Bishan Park and walked 10k steps around Labrador Park.

Thankfully the weather is great. Cloudy and windy with light rain, makes the experiences really comfortable.

I shall let myself rest for tomorrow.

Spend a bit of time with myself today.
Relook at the notes that I pen down.

Top 3 desires that I want myself
1) I want to say "Yes" to myself.
2) I want to accept myself fully.
3) I want to be true and authentic.

Journal Day 28: Listen to my Heart

Today is FGS Teachers Dharma Class online gathering. I feel blessed and touched by the FGS video; how FGS rebuilt Buddhism in India, watched the students performance and gratitude words.

At night, I happened to recieve invitation to watch Imee Ooi's Metta Sky. Grateful to be able to hear Heart Sutra with such a beautiful voice.

A short reflection:
Have I be kind to myself and others?
Have I made a difference in people's lives?
Have I learned my lessons well?

I am glad to have a conversation with Ee Dzu. She shared with me that if I want peace be mindful of which of the moments I am experiencing peace and which moments I don't.

Pen down my experiences.

It is pretty useful so that I understand myself better.

Journal Day 27: Arts Communication Fundamentals

I attended "Arts Communication Fundamentals" organised by Quantico.

This online course is pretty intersting.

What strike me most are:
1）What is the story and meaning that I do?
2) What are my values: Building Trust and Lasting Relationships
3) What can I do to impact people lives?

When people connects, they see if there is trusts, align with the values and common goals.

I met the 2 copywriters in ad agencies, 1 jazz singer and 1 public service health manager. Why not I connect them through emails first?

Journal Day 26: Plan for 2021

Attended Evelyn and Jeffrey's workshops. Both of them shared good content on how to move forward to end 2020. I still left with 97 days.

What do I want to achieve before this year ends?

Give more self love
Reduce stress and anxiety (Meditation, Laughing and Exercising)
Increase in Energy in 2021 (No wonder I signup for Toni Baker's Love your Liver Program so instantly)
Self-Motivated, feel more joy
Be more clear in my life (No wonder I am so discipline to journal my life these few months, so that I can see and feel my own rythmn and theme)
Have more design thinking training in place

Today, I want to tell myself.
I am doing okay. I care for my well being.
I am a discipline person. I take actions and followup now.
I know I can do it.
Let me have the patience and do things differently for now. It's not difficult when I do things gradually, but it's difficult when I do things in a short period of time.

Journal Day 25: Blessed with my Coaches

Today I feel blessed to work with my coaches Evelyn, Hyder and Jeffrey.

Evenlyn worked on my emotions aspects.
Hyder worked on my mindset aspects.
Jeffrey worked on my business aspects.

Hyder touched me emotionally today. He said,"Allow my favourite states to set in. Go to bed with happy feeling, waking up feeling happy, calm and peaceful."

Indeed, the wonderful morning experiences to set the day right.

I am accountable for my own life.
I take charge of my own life, my decisions.
I learn to trust myself now.
It is okay to make changes, change for improvements.

Journal Day 24: Double My Self Confidence

I attended Evelyn's First Day "Double Your Self Confidence". I haven't been working on my business.

I go through the trigger points
Fear of Rejection
Fear of Unwanted
Fear of not good enough
(These feelings are much reduced after my confidence grew tremendously.)

I am more willing to face my anxiety.
When people reject me, I feel hurt.
I believe this hurt comes from the very young part of me. I am releasing the hurt in me. I choose to let go. It no longer serves me. Enough is enough.

Journal Day 23: Helping yourself by helping others

I woke up late today. Nevertheless, I still willing to go to the AMK park to walk.

The internet was unstable today but I am glad to ask Edy to brandstorm what are the ways to get clients, how can we help them.

Breakdown the costing for the clients
Provide installments plans when necessary
Understand our customers and speak their lingo

Met Melvin Tan, Loon and Steven
Steven is a trainer for startup
Loon is a mentor for youth startup
Melvin is the coordinator
They seem to have interesting businesses
I will discuss more with Edy to see how we can collaborate with them.

At night, I helped to reasonate in 2 IOPT Processes.
6.30pm: It is about an old lady who refused to see her parents as prepetrators even though they have verbally abused her.
8pm: It is about an only child, despite him holding on to his parents' stress and burden, he is doing that to himself as well.

When I saw these 2 processes, I sort of feel that I also want to protect my own parents and holding on to my parents wish and wants. I neglected myself. How am I able to connect with myself too?

I feel my own helplessness, sadness, frustrations, anger. I can feel my own anxiety. Why saying Yes to myself seems so challenging and difficult? How can I say YES to myself sincerely and genuinely that I truly want myself?

Can I feel it now?

Journal Day 22: Exercise and Curry Puffs Day

Today I had a great day with Meiyan, Stephanie and Ee Siew. We had morning breakfast, light exercise (walking and stretching), rest awhile, start eating po piah at Ee Siew place for lunch. We took many amusing, fun photos.

After lunch, we start preparing curry puffs, Meiyan and Stephanie work very fast. Ee Siew start making the dough into circles and we star to make them into puffs. I finally learnt how to fold the sides into patterns. After fry and bake, the puffs turns out to be not bad.

We had a good laugh during the DIY Facial masking.

I slept early last night, I played with Ting Ting too. She likes stickers but the stickers that Ee Siew gave me no longer that sticky. But it is okay, we had fun!

Journal Day 21: Learn to delegate tasks better

Today is MTS Dharma Class Test games. I feel calm and collected. Perhaps a lot of workload are shared among the Dharma teachrs, hence it was pretty easy for me.

I learnt to delegate out tasks. I think it is an important skill to grow as a leader. I helped to oversee if everything is in place. My role has unconsciously changed. I empower others to grow with me and people around me benefit as well.

I feel when I let go, I am less controlling, I am more in the flow. I trust myself more. I am able to care and love myself bit better. It feels like getting know an old friend.

When I trust myself. I know I can depend on myself. This feeling is very good. I feel very grounded and I feel stable. I like myself.

Journal Day 20: Reframing of the Mind, Doing new things with Joy

I feel tired today, rushing out more of the pages for NUS Newslettere. Busy days recently but it is a good busy because I am doing new things.

Boring is a sign of consistency, it means that doing the same thing over and over again. Expect different results is craziness.

Allow openness, find new ways if the first idea doesn't work, keep trying, definately there is a method that will work well. That is the right solution.

Reframing of the mind
How might we...

Journal Day 19: Shifting My Mindset

Today I realise that what I thought I can't do, I can do. By shifting my mindset, our mind is very powerful. Be kind to my mind.

Today it was really a busy day for me, exercise, working on Pier71 and NUS Newsletter Jul - Sep, I only completed half of them. OMG! Hopefully tomorrow, I will be able to complete the first draft of the newsletter.

I need to sleep now 休息师为了走更长远的路

Yeow said," As we age, it is even more important to be physically, mentally active. Once inactive / sedentary, problems start to kick in. Qi slows down, toxins start to accumulate and inflammation appears!"

Take care ya!!!

Journal 18: Do I care enough for myself?

I feel good that I can help Priscilla and her team to complete Accelerate Website Event. It is a team effors and when everyone supports each other, good things happend.

Today I attended Design Thinking Webinar. I knda disappointed to attend as it is not related to Design Thinking.

I ended up attending Financial Literacy Webinar, but I still can learn something from the trainer.

To save 10% of my income. (Pay myself first. It is do able.) Pay bill first secondly (Do able.)

Save at least 6 months of my income.

I will save at least $200 monthly progressively.

I get more projects in.

Build more quality relationships with people.

Build deeper connection with myself.
Do I care enough for myself? I do care for myself now.

Journal Day 17: Empathise myself and others

Today I went to see Jessica IOPT process.

Her 'I' was given up at a very young age. That reminds me about how I have given up my own 'I' for others. It was indeed a painful process. I am able to empathise myself and others.

Today I was very busy with Pier71 and NUS Newsletter. I got to put in more efforts in the Newsletter.

I will sleep early tonight so that I have more energy for my lessions tomorrow. I feel lack of energy tonight, maybe I didn't sleep well last few nights.

Journal Day 16: Put in more efforts in preparing my meals

As I continue my healing journey, I decided to put in more efforts in preparing my meals. Today, I prepared oats meal (14 Sept 2020 and 11 Jan 2021) and I will preparing chocolate nuts milk shake tomorrow (12 Jan 2021).

What I feel like telling myself is I like the state of being, I feel more grounded, be in the moment. I am able to be more focus and productive.

I give my best to myself and people around me. I want to connect with myself more emotionally. I want to feel myself. I am grateful to be me. I watched a video that says,"Stop following others, be who I really am and I will be able to shine light onto others."

This ia good reminder to focus on myself.

Journal Day 15: Recap Plant-based Diets

Today I spent 5 hours at Yeow's place to relearned about plant based diets, together with Thiru, Pat, Ee Dzu. A the end of the class, Yeow asked what have we learned today.

I took away these 5 tips.
1) Mitochondria turns food and oxygen into energy.
2) Plant based diets heals and repairs the body.
3) Toxin makes us fat, we need to detox to release the toxin.
4) Exercise helps us too. ie shakes like a tree.
5) Rest heals and repairs the cells.

Moving forward
1) Oats and smoothies in the morning.
2) Buy fruits and deep green leafy vegetables（kai lan / kale) can make massage salad. Invest $900 in wholefood monthly.
3) Exercise regularly in the morning.
4) No oil for the food that I prepare.
5) Give Self love in the process

Journal Day 14: Zabo 美女如云

Today I spent whole day with Manice, Stephanie, Meiyan and Ee Siew at Teng Bespoke (Sunshine Plaza) and Josh's Grill (Bugis Junction), celebrating Manice's Birthday. It was pretty sweet gathering. We eat the whole day. Fortunately, I didn't eat too much carbs and I took amla powder, so the blood sugar didn't spike up. I think exercising and sleeping early do play a part in controlling the sugar.

Meiyan went to setup Zabo 美女如云 chat group. where we build genuine friendship together. I am blessed to have them in my life. They are positive, caring and direct. That what makes real friends, right?

Thanks Meiyan help me to get this cute image, 禅师坐在云端修禅定 . It is beautiful.

Journal Day 13: Feeling Joyful

Today I had a great time at Yen Yuen's place. Thank you for her efforts to cook for Manice and I. We had fun and I really very long time never played to heartedly.

I feel very grateful and thankful. I realise that many things are beyond my control. What I can control is my own heart. I want to heal my heart. I am prepared to release the pains in my heart. 过去事不可得，现在事不可得，未来事不可得。

I will spend time connect with myself. When I feel calm and peaceful, I am connecting with myself. It is very calm and pleasant feeling, no anxiety, no fear, no anger. The feeling is amazing. I am contented. 心无挂碍，无挂碍故。

Journal Day 12: Rejections

Today Vanessa from Blind Dogs Singapore shares that the choice of choosing the vendor is Price and Design. I wasn't affected as I understand she wasn't the type of clients that I am looking for or having the right conditions to work together.

Regjections are part of life. You win some or you lose some. I will focus on myself and people who want to work with me. It will be more valuable and meaningful.

I thank you and I love You Rachel :)

Journal Day 11: I will take care of my own needs

What I want to say is I will take care of my own needs. By saying yes to myself, it is self love.

Today, I start using the "Habit" App. It is pretty cool. It helps me to monitor my own progress.

I mentioned to Hyder about my own anxiety. The anxiety comes from my younger self. She needs her own space, connect with myself in the present moment.

I spend almost every day at the park. That reduce my anxiety.

I dreamt that I screwed up 2 presentations. I felt so upset and disappointed with myself. In the reality. I didn't close 2 deals, one overseas project and Blind Dogs Singapore. Perhaps, I wasn't ready emotionally to help them. Thank God that I didn't take up their projects because I don't have time for them.

It is okay. I should focus on myself and NUS Enterprise, Pier71 Event. Bhawani and Priscilla trusted me and gave me the projects. I will serve them well. :)

Today's Affirmation: The universe always gave me projects that I can handle them.

Journal Day 10: Reaffirm it is okay to feel all my emotions

What I want to say to myself is
It is okay to make mistakes.
Read: Journal Day 2: It is okay to make mistakes

Mistakes means I need to pay attention to.
I will learn now I will help myself in the next time.

I want to listen to myself more.
When I listen to myself, I feel alot better.
No one can truly help me, if I don't help myself.
Read: Journal Day 6: I listen to myself

It is okay to feel sad, anger, frustrated.
Today, I allow myself to feel all my emotions.

Journal Day 9: I cherish myself

Today I want to say I cherish myself. I did a resonance for a iopt client. I have seen how he has being harshed / ignored himself. I can related to that I long for my mother's love, I suffered when I couldn't get it.

Through scolding, It is also part of the connection with mother/family. How can I love and trust myself? Stop harming myself with harsh words.

I feel that when I love myself, the people around me also be kind to me. When I trust myself, I am able to respond to people appropriately. I don't have to live in fear or anger anymore.

Oh Yah, my finances have improve as well. I no longer feeling stres over money. I understand when I take care of myself, money will take care by itself. *Love*

As much as anybody else in the universe, I deserve my love and affection.

Journal Day 8: The body keeps the score

Today I want to say 再远的距离，其实很靠近。I want to feel myself and feel my heart. I want to support myself.

I feel good when I spend time with myself. Like today, Spend time understand myself, listen to myself to find out what exactly myself want to tell me. 相信自己，多一点信任，多一点自在。

I still feel a lot of anxiety in the body. The book,"The body keeps the score." This is the stress hormones that keeps in my body. The events have over, but the body still doesn't know yet. I want to tell my body to relax, take a deep breath in, I could feel the anxiety from my shoulders, upper back and lower back.

Solutions
- Eating healthy diet for the antioxidants and nutrients
- Exercise and stretch body to release the tension in my body
- Rest to allow my body to recharge
- Breathing to remind myself I am living

Journal Day 7: I am beautiful inside out

Today I want to say to myself: I am beautiful inside out. I am caring and understanding. I am learning to understand myself a bit better, such as I like simplicity, I like spaces, decluttering helps me to see things more clearly. I don't need a lot, just need the right people, right things into my life.

I can feel my own vibration. I am glad that people love to talk to me. I am approachable. Nothing in this world can't be resolve. With love and understanding, things will be able to work out eventually.

I believe everyone in this space has his own purpose, potential and mission.

I hope in this lifetime, I can truly fulfil my life purpose, I reconnect with myself, the true and authentic Rachel Won.

Journal Day 6: Listen to myself

Today is Teachers' Day, what I feel like saying is I want to thank myself for starting to be willing to listen to myself.

I am grateful for the teachers and mentors who came into my life. Thank you for making an impact and difference into my life.

Today I resonate for a client, Yvonne from HK. I feel like I am also like her, ignoring myself, I feel her pain. I finally understood how sad my younger self was feeling. I felt her pain. Feeling ignored, unwanted and sadness. My younger parts are asking me what can they do to be seen, loved and care for.

Okay, I heard it loud and clear.

I feel that
- Hugging is one of the ways
- Pay attention to my own needs
- Listen to myself
- Do things that I care about
- Show love to myself