06 June, 2007

Legend of the Sea



Before watching, I was looking forward to watch this show, since they make such a big hoo-ha over the radio and tv.
After watching, I'm disappointed with it.

This is the first cartoon movie that makes me want to fall asleep. The storyline is weak therefore having too many S-L-O-W scenes and unnecessary pauses. The dialogue are lame. The songs in the show are mostly out of tune... The characters have no facial expressions at all... The worse part is some characters seems to be "copied" from Disney characters. Where is the CREATIVITY?

The animators just "throw" in whatever animation skills they have, without thinking in depth. We laughed not because it is funny, we laughed because the show is so ridiculously cannot make it...

I know it is not easy to produce 3D animation movie. If you ever watch this "rush work", you will know what i mean...

They are just not there yet.

03 June, 2007

Malacca & KL Trip - Part 2

Malacca Culture and Heritage


   

Queen Victorian Fountain


KL Twin Towers

29 May, 2007

Malacca & KL Trip - Part 1

Getting more and more grouchy recently... due to my sickness, my work, recent online ban from my co, think i should stop writing any more negative stuffs in my own blog...

Was thinking to recap my Malacca & KL trip since im going to Malacca this saturday again keke... These are photos were took during the CNY, trying to have the festive mood back again keke

   

   

   

   

   

28 May, 2007

Everything seems so wrong

Sorry guys.. haven't been blog for one whole week... have been sick for one whole wk again... still the 4 sickness, flu, fever, cough and sore throat... After one wk of rest, I'm almost recovered... i guess flu takes a longer time to recovered. My new coll still called me and ask me if i have dengue fever.. choy... of course not...

The sick viruses are circulating in my office room... have asked for air purifier for our room.. hopefully, can get it by next week...

Today the moment i stepped into my room, the first mail that is saw was "All Instant messaging softwares are not allow"

"Please note that all instant messaging software, eg : Skype, MSN, Gtalk, YAHOO Messenger and etc...., are not allowed. This is a decision made at Management level and has asked MIS to broadcast to employees..." This means i'm being isolated from "outside world".... Sad sad....

Then my manager asked me what is the status of the brochure. I purposely gave her the "blur" look cause she knows very well that i'm sick since last week. How would i know the actual status? Anyway, I quickly called the vendor and asked them when can they send the brochure. They told me send by 11am. But till 12 noon, I haven't even received the brochure yet. Called them again to chase.. Finally 12.30pm the brochures arrived.

But there is a mistake. My manager looked at me as if it was my fault. This brochure has been ciculating to everyone but no one spots this mistake until it is printed. So now I have become the scapegoat. Anyway, my manager doesn't want to spend extra money to reprint.. So I told her have to print inhouse with the printer.

This lousy printer is not working properly, I rushed up to level 6 to borrow other dept's printer. Spend my time to calibrate the color until it is similar to my brochure background color. After printing 300 sets of labels, i worked like a factory worker, stick the labels one by one. Luckily, two of my colleagues offered to help me to paste the labels. if not, i would have been a worker until tomorrow...

Everything seems so wrong, nothing seems right....

21 May, 2007

Be a useful person

"Be a useful person." Quoted by my shifu one day.

I heard these words of wisdom from my teacher when I was in P1. I seem to forget about this.

It's easy to understand, yet profound. What is the defination of being a useful person?

What great achievements that i have made in the past 29 years? There's none loh. Nothing that will do myself or my family proud.

But it doesn't matter because I am grateful that I had not been picking up smoking, nor taking any drugs. I had to been straying around at nites and I had not been sleeping around.

I'm have great friends around with me to help me and guide me along the way. I'm grateful that my family give me their support despite they dont feel comfortable with my decision.

Useful or not? I guess its what you set your own expectations for yourself to excel. Just like what is the purpose in life and what is the existance for us to live in this world? Only ourselves will able to answer this question.

A ruthless person

Another person threw letter. It's the 4th person who threw the letter within one month. Every this time of the month, you will see people throwing letters in that Dept.

She is mean.
She has no friends.
She likes to manipulate her people.
She likes to hire people who are introvet.
She bans her own people communicating with others.
She makes mistakes but she is smart enough to cover up.
She is unfriendly to colleagues who are lower ranking than her.
She is ruthless when she wants her people to leave.

It's a norm for people in her dept to leave every month. Some of them are quite "tough" but none of them stayed more than a year. Everyone dislike her but there is nothing they can do. She will come out with reasons that why there is a need to change people in her dept.

She reminds me of my Vice President in my previous co. He possessed the same kind of character. Strangely, these people never failed to leave the co, despite of their ugly sides. Either the top management seems able to "tolerate" them or choose not to see their ugly side.

I just can't help but to pity these people. They may be "successful" in their own ways but they can never be happy. They may seems to "own the whole world" but their soul is empty. They are just too pathetic...

20 May, 2007

Where is my heart?

Was quite upset with myself recently... I could not feel for most of my own photos... I just feel that the photos that i took is just for the sake of taking... Friends do feel for my photos but I just don't know, what am I taking and why did I take these photos... I felt that I was "copying" others... Where is the link??? I just couldn't see...

A good photo needs to tell a story... I know I still have passion in photography... I still have the urge to take photos... But I no longer could feel for my surrounding...

Where has my Heart gone to? Searching for my Heart... Zzz....

18 May, 2007

3D Street Art

Julian Beever is an English artist who's famous for his art on the pavement of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium.

Beever gives to his drawing an anamorphose, his images are drawn completly deformed which give a 3D image when viewing on the right angle.

Below are some of his brilliant works! Not to be missed :)
A very creative artist!

Guess who is real?


What a huge box of crayons!


Gold Digger


Spray you to death!


Show Time


I need a drink...


Bon Vogage


Cats fight

17 May, 2007

Rubberband Buddy

Last weekend, I was super pissed off with a good buddy of mine again. She has a bad habit of lateness. We are supposed to meetup to celebrate her birthday. I plan to meet her at Suntec 7pm then we go and have our night dinner and even thinking of a nice surprise for her...

We exchanged a few smses:
From her: At 5.30pm, "It's raining heavily, let's meet at 7.30pm."
From me: At 7pm, "I will be late for 5mins."
She replied: "It's okay, take your time, why not we meet at 8pm?"
From me: "Alright then."

As I was looking at the clothes when a salesgirl just me if i had taken my dinner already. Then i realised that only its 8.20pm already and this rubberband buddy hasn't turn up yet.

So I asked her where she is.
She replied she is still at Toa Payoh and rushing down to suntec. She even suggested that we meet at AMK Hub and wanted to meet me at AMK Hub and she waited for me there.

This time round, i was really pissed.

I simply replied: "I'm here already. Why cant you plan your schedule properly? Let's meet another day!"

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The meeting time was supposed to be 7pm. I have finished my shopping, I waited for her from 7.35pm to 8.20pm. I think I have waited long enough. I'm angry not about how much time, i need to wait. I'm angry about how insignificant this birthday dinner meant to her. It's about turning up on time for a friend. It is so simple task and yet she couldn't do it.

Friends told me that she is like that, just let her be. I felt that this should not be the way.

She is a busy person and there are alot of things she need to handle everyday. But that should not be a good excuse to be late. If she thinks this dinner is not worth of her time, then she is wasting my time as well.

She promised me that she will change. I took her promise seriously. Yes i know changes takes time. If I can change for the better, I'm sure she can do it as well. I had already told her that if she ever late for another 15 mins for the next gathering, I will just walked off...

16 May, 2007

How to Revitalise Your Dreams

"Dare to Dream" is a phrase I love, it reinvigorates us, it has hope, it gets us thinking about what we want from our life. What I hate is that we USED to do that - when we were young we dreamed about being a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher or even a superstar then we start working, somehow we lost our ability to work towards our dreams, so here are some of ideas of how to learn how to dream again...

1) Take 10 minutes each day to dream, to think about what is important to you...

2) Speak to children and let your mind wander with them to inspire your thoughts, learn how to think like a child again...

3) Read a book on a topic that is not your specialized subject - let your imagination wander of how you could incorporate the ideas...

4) Go for a walk, look at nature, see the beauty and think about if you could do anything you wanted to do - what it would be....

5) Write an 8 word legacy of how you want to be remembered...

6) Encourage others to dream - speaking in a positive away will inspire them and inspire you...

7) Write down 3 things that you want to achieve and use it as a screen saver on your PC...

8) Try something new, be it a hobby, a holiday, a new learning just something that you have always wanted to do but haven't found time for..go on just try it.

9) Start using the sentence "What would it be like if..." then take action to achieve it...

10) Read De Bono book 6 hats of creative thinking....

Dreaming is important, we all love to have something to dream about......and it is only others that have taken it away from us. We have the power to dream, we can take that power back.

14 May, 2007

Drinking Parties

Haven't been blogging for few days, due to some errors in blogger...

Last weekend has quite a "drinking" weekend... Went clubbing with my new colleagues on friday... We went to St James... then most happening clubbing in town. We wanted to go dragonfly but it was too crowded so we decided to go powerhouse.

It's been two years since i went clubbing... memories flash back.. remembered the days cheong with my ex-colleagues and friends... Sometimes it's good to let down your hair once awhile... Had a fun nite with my new colleagues... they are indeed great party animals... Yah and they tried very hard to make me drunk... I like to feel "high", not to feel drunk! Luckily, im still quite sobber... Heng ah...

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Sunday is Monthers' Day. As usual, we do not like to mix with the crowd in the restuarant. My sis wipped up a few dishes, while i go and collect a bouquet of flowers. My mum is surprised that we bought her flowers. We really make her day.

My sis bought Irish cream for the occasion... It's nice, so drank a lot... but its okay... once awhile :) Felt so sleepy after drinking... Zzz....

10 May, 2007

Sicko people around

Spot Check
Can you imagine everyday you are like going back to school even though you have left school for donkey years ago?

Everyone of us were being spot check by the security guard. Just to check if anyone were carrying camera phone... He just go around everyone's handphone. When is the last time i got check by someone? I couldn't even remember it myself. Hello, I'm just a employee here... not a ex-convict or a jailbird. Why do I have to check by these people every now and then.

What have I done to deserve this?

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Being an observer
Can you imagine when you are being asked to help out in another team, end up people just treating like an guinea pig?

My colleague was supposed to help out in another team due to lack of manpower. Guess what? When he was there, he was asked to be an observer. Being an observer meaning just sit there and watch other people how to do their work.

Ridiculous rite? Being paid to do nothing. The team just don't have time to teach him...Okay fine. He just be an observer for that 8 hours. When its about knock off time, at 6. He couldn't go back. He was forced to stay back until 3am with them because this team haven't finish their work yet.

First, he was asked to help
Second, he was not allowed to hands-on
Third, he was not allowed to go home

What kind of rational behind it?

He called his boss to complain. His boss talked to the team leader. This idiotic team leader just replied, "Ohh we just want to see how fast can he pick up by just looking."

You mean by just looking, you can learn everything... If possible, this guy must be an genius then! If he's genius, he won't be in this company!

What has he done to deserve this treatment?

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What's wrong with these people in my company. Are they sicko or something?

09 May, 2007

200 Pound Beauty



Most of my friends and colleagues have watched 200 Pound Beauty... Everyone tells me it's nice... had a "hard time" finding someone who haven't watch this show. Anyway, it is as good as my friends claimed to be... hilarious and heartwarming... Basically, it's a ladies show... For those who haven't watch, must go and watch :)

Synopsis
Hanna is a lip sync vocalist for Ammy, the famous Korean pop singer. Even though Hanna is always ignored due to her appearance, she has always been a bright and happy girl until Ammy humiliated her in front of Sang-jun, the one she secretly admired.

Finally, she made a life-changing decision: to have a major cosmetic surgery... Will this move, will her unrequited love get any return?

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Some bad news heard these few days...
Tes told me she injured herself while cycling
Shi Hui told me he injured his ankle while playing basketball
Wan Ting told me her mum need to go for her operation due to some infection

Life is so unpredictable... Just hope that they will get well soon...

07 May, 2007

Heliconias Vs Strelitzia reginae

Few weeks back, Usu told me the the photo i had is "fake" bird of paradise. The one i took is called "Heliconias" and the "real" ones is "Strelitzia reginae". Whether fake or real i think they are equally beautiful, they simply stand out by itself :)


Original Bird of paradise


"Fake" Bird of paradise


Heliconias are tends to be plain while Strelitzia reginae are more vibrant in their colours.

More readings on HELICONIAS
Heliconia are known for their beautiful, brilliant colorful flowering bracts.

Breathtaking and unusual flowerheads (bracts) rise from clumps of banana like leaves, sometimes very large or slender.

Their height may on some species vary from as small as 2" to 25" depending on variety. Heliconia are actually highly modified leaves and bracts, their colorful bracts may be erect, pendulous or spiraling with bracts in the shapes of bird's beaks, lobster claws or fan shaped.

They are in colors of reds, pinks, golds, oranges and splashes of a mixture of colors. The IRg Reat durability makes them unique for export urpose satisfying the needs of our customers far away from the place of origin.

The Crop is located in the Central Andes among the beautiful coffee crops with volcanic soils and perfect temperatures for their grow."

06 May, 2007

Yoga Class

My buddy invited me to his yoga class. This is the first time attended yoga. There are different types of yoga but basically it helps you to learn how to control your breathing and makes you relax your mind, body and soul :)

Met my buddy's teacher for the first time. She was so bubbly and friendly. She hugged me when she saw me. I was pretty taken aback because never been hugged by a stranger before! Nevertheless i could feel her positive energy within her.

This lesson is not taught by her but another yoga instructor. We did breathing techniques and basic stretching and humming as well! Simple exercise but yet she could makes it so fun and interesting that you won't feel bored at all. I always think that yoga is a boring activity but she proved me wrong.

I liked the dancing part, it is free play of moving of your own body. It makes my body goes light and relax. Had stopped dancing for awhile le.. really makes me considering of going back dancing again... :)

Had a great time there, despite it is a 3 hours exercise :)

05 May, 2007

Fisherman Village



Wanted to go for a drink, so jio tes. Since it's quite near to tampines, we went to fisherman village after our advanced photography class. When we reached there it's quite early, but we are hungry... The feeling is different compared to two years back when me and tes went...

After we had our dinner, we saw this beautiful sunset and "organised" clouds. We just cant helped but to take out our camera to shoot. I thought of taking paranomic view keke... Trying to apply what i was taught in the class :p

Drinking with buddy with such a scenic view... so beautiful :)

04 May, 2007

Newton to Orchard

Met my buddy for dinner. We went to newton cirus to eat stingyray. The food not too bad, I actually wanted to take the photos of the food one but I forgot to bring my camera... Sadzzz...

It is a hearty meal but buddy says we need to digest our food. Therefore, we walked the way from newton cirus to orchard. As we walked along circle cairnhill road, we found there is a potential shooting place... There are quite a few old houses around there. But too bad no camera with me! Double Sadzzz...

Anyway, I'm going back to that place for photoshooting one of these days :P

03 May, 2007

Maple kakis outing



Went to watch spiderman 3 with my maple kakis. It wasn't really up to my expectation. The storyplot is a bit lame. What I felt was, the whole movie was just throwing all the visual effects and silly jokes. Didn't really like it, i still prefers the 1st spiderman movie. It is more real and heartfelt.

Anyway, before that we went to eat Sakae Sushi. Suppose to eat at city link but usu parked his car at Suntec. 4 of us had to change the place because of him. It is a gathering as well as celebrating Tes birthday as well...

We chat about the old days of maple... Remembering last year's tes birthday bash at the dungeon... and silly maple screenshots that we took. Those were the fun days of maple... Despite some of us have stopped maple le, but our friendship did not stop there. We still keep in good contacts :)

It's a nice outing with maple kakis!

02 May, 2007

Beery Birthday

"Shall we go fisherman village?"
"Shall we go town area?"
"Shall we go.... hmmm..."

"Okay we shall go town then..."

It's once a year birthday bash again... Always have to plan the place we want to celebrate. Don't know since when, it's always two of us celebrating for my buddy's birthday...

Received Fel sms: I'm with Tes right now. We will be going to Outback at Millinia Walk. Could you go and get the cake? We are watching movie now. Please do not call us.

What an unfriendly sms but i just find this sms so serious... I was super busy and had to work OT... Rush down to buy chocolate truffle and meet them at millinia walk. Quite a cosy and nice australian restaurant. They are famous for steaks.

Suppose to be a surprise for tes, end up she saw the cake and the singing birthday party loh. It wasn't a surprise for her after all. Okay now i know i can't do secretive mission. Nevertheless, 3 silly gals had lots of silly photo shots again and drank quite a fair amount of beer.. None of us got drank keke...

Yah, it is a berry birthday for her :) Hope she enjoyed her birthday cos i enjoyed myself.

01 May, 2007

Penang, here we come!!!

Yeah!!! Back from my 4 Days of Penang trip... Before I went for my trip, I was so looking forward for my Penang trip. When im there, I wished to come back :p It was a great trip. Enjoyed myself there...

Always long to go to Penang, finally had the chance to go there. We took 9 hours of bus coach. Didn't slept well in the coach, my whole body ached. After I washed up, I felt so energised again. We stayed at Paradise Sandy Bay, it's nice hotel with beach by the side :) Although the hotel service is a bit slow but they are quite friendly people. Wanted to swim at the beach but there was a sign saying that jelly fishes lurking around. So sadz...

During our first day, we wanted to walk the heritage trail so we took their public transport to Georgetown. The ride only cost us RM$1.50. We are quite unlucky in the sense that it rains and the bus is moving slow....ly and it leaks!!! Instead of feeling grouchy, me and tes are busy taking photos and the passengers must be thinking that we are mad!

Although we had the map, we just couldn't find the trail. But we found the famous and original Chengdol and Assam Lasak at P. Penang. They indeed deserved their name. The lasak has the "dong dong" feeling and the soup tasted delicious keke :)

When we reached Penang, there is a friendly cab uncle wanted to bring us around. But his charges are simply too high, RM$250 for a day trip! Luckily we found another cab driver only RM$150. He is quite quiet uncle. But when we start talking to him, he is quite warm and talkative and he is quite humourous... Kept us entertain non stop the whole day... What a fun and tiring day...

During the last day, Tes wanted to buy famous "dou sa bin". We called up and try to ask for order. But the shop owner refused to take the order, wanted us to go there and collect. He told us the shop location; mention 168, at Jalan Burmah and its just 15mins walk. We thought quite near.

God knows... we walked and walked for 20 minutes, still not there yet. I saw no 169. But there's no 168 loh... asked one of the shop owner, she told us.. it’s at the end of the road quite near. Yah Quite NEAR loh.. End up we walked another 10 more mins then reached the place.

Went we reached there, there is a short queue le. I'm not a fan of "dou sa bin" but such a long walk with my heavy haversack on my back, in such a hot weather. I have decided to buy one box!

The "dou sa bin" is not buying off the shelves one.. We need to wait. The shop owner told us need to wait for half hour. But no loh.. We queued for an hour! The people in front of us bought at least 8-10 boxes one loh... One even bought 2 cartons loh.

Finally... finally we managed to get our freshly hot piping "dou sa bin". We never eat "dou sa bin" fresh from the oven before. We decided to walk back, take photo and eat in front of the shop haha... yah indeed it is nice and delicious haha. All wait is worth it :)

It's a nice trip! Great hotel, Great beaches and Great food! What more can I asked? I want to go back to Penang again keke...

PS: We took sunrise at the beach and I saw my rainbow again!!! It lasted for half an hour :)

26 April, 2007

Photoshoot Part III

I was super pissed to hear that we need to reshoot the photoshoot again. Just because the client side says that why are we using our own people when they suppose to use their people.

Right from the beginning, we asked them if they have stock photos... they simply told us that they don't have any and no good resources that they could provide. After I have finished two rounds of photoshoots and finished designed the folder, brochure and websites. They start to make such comments...

If you were me, how would you feel???

My boss had no choice but to agree with them to reshoot just because they are the clients... Who I am to say no, I'm just an ikan bilis....

This time round, the client side finally willing to provide nice and proper photoshoot areas, their own staffs and using their new Canon D400.

Took one whole morning to reshoot everything, their staffs are not really that comfortable in front of the camera, wasted a bit of time to tell them how to pose and smile naturally...

The results? Obviously much better than previous, but in the first place, if they have given us what we wanted, all of us wouldn't be wasting so much time and efforts for nothing... And now i got to work within my tight deadline... urgh!!!

25 April, 2007

Networking Night

Went to the networking night organised by SDU. Missed that last session, this time round my boss "force" me to go... Don't really feel like going alone so in the end ask my Xiao Mei to join me. Guess what, my boss ban her from going loh because shes attached le... So i come out with backup plan, ask another colleague of mine to go with me... using my sweet talk and my voice to charm her to go... but no matter what i say, she's just not interested...

Alright i shall go alone then...

My boss "saboed" me.. tells me Bus no 7 will reached SDU. That particular bus stop that she told me doesn't have that bus no. I was running late, i had to take a cab there. Don't know is my unlucky day or not, today is that cab driver first day driving! He doesn't know the exact place despite i told him its at stevens road. We took quite awhile to find the place.

The dinner is lousy, the people are mostly shy, the games are silly and boring. We had no common topics or interest. So superficial... The only thing that keeps me interested is the talk. The speaker is quite jovial and humourous. The topics, he touched on, are quite useful and interesting. He shared with us how woman and man think and how spouses can live harmony despite of the difference...

At the end of the event, we are kinda "force" to take down the numbers of the people around us because it is part of the game.

Hmmm let me think... what shall i do with these long list of numbers then?

24 April, 2007

Some serious stuffs to do

Qiqi: Let's get something serious stuffs here. We need to bring how many pieces?
TeS: 100 will be enough
Qiqii: That is too many!
TeS: Wait, must remember not to wear shorts and singlet...
Qiqi: (Getting abit impatient) Be serious!!!
TeS: orrrh.. kena scolding le..
Qiqi: obviously get scolding lah.. so playful... must be serious
TeS: Okay loh, Just 3 will do.

Qiqi: It is an important mission
TeS: Okay loh, I very serious le lor
Qiqi: Oh yah, we must bring our weapons there too
TeS: What weapons ah?
Qiqi: Weapon must be loaded with few gigs of SD cards....
TeS: Yahhh and rem to bring tripod and IR Filter!!!
Qiqi: That is optional...

TeS: So reach le do what? Build sand castle ah?
Qiqi: Firing our weapons hahaha....

Qiqi: Okay, let's do not waste any more time and get things done!

We are planning what to bring for our penang trip... what are you thinking anyway? hahaha

Few minutes later...
TeS:keke u think hor.....at the end, after come back, would we have "forgetten" to go penang coz...we forget to take pix of us there...
Qiqi: Highly possible KEKE

23 April, 2007

People around us

In our harsh society, only the person will know how to make use of the good opportunities will survive!

After 'O' Levels, we are forced to make our own career path decisions. How would a 17 year kid like me would know how to make a major decision in my life, making sure that it will not be a wrong decision? I simply select my ploy courses through eliminations, this is so "sickening" but i have no choice, I'm being force to make a decision.

If you scored good grades in your studies, you have more choices and options. If you are lucky enough, you have make the correct career path and all your life will be much more smoother then others. To have a even better life, if you happened to have good and rich parents, probably your life will be smooth sailing. They could give you good advises and helped you along the way...

If you have poor and lousy grades, your fate is almost sealed by our MOE. Worse, you have notorious and uneducated parents, most probably, you think that you have sealed your own fate. Thinking that this is the lousy life, will do you more harm and you start to blame the people around you and living a sucky life... But you forget that you can change your own fate.

A friend of mine had a master degree in building management, worked in building industries for 10 years and realised that it is not what he wants and turns out to be advertising seems to be his passion. He has decided to change his career path totally.

I always believe late is always better than never.

This is not the end of the road, for other people who are less fortunate like me, will take a longer and harder time to realise what kind of career path is actually good for us.

I like to observe people around me. I realised that people have 4 different traits rational, emotional, creative and logical characteristics. It won't be that accurate after u start to mix with different traits of people around. People around you, will slowly shape your life and character.

Being creative and logical people that depends how much left and right brain you are using...

If you are creative and emotional person, probably a more suitable type of job for you will be in Arts / Creative industry.

If you are creative and rational person, probably a more suitable type of job for you will be in Business industry.

If you are logical and rational person, probably a more type of suitable job will be in Finance / Accountancy / IT / Engineering industry.

If you are logical and emotional person, probably a more type of suitable job will be in Medical industry.

This is our harsh reality. Many a times, we are forced to make decisions against our will. No matter what, we still have to try and struggle to make our way through. I'm sure that if there's a will, there is a way. Keep trying, till you stepped your foot into the coffin...

22 April, 2007

Lasting Love?

I used to think as long as he loves me, it is good enough for me. But i guess love does not work in this way. He still choose to leave me one day...

It always works both ways. Just one side, simply will not work. More than 10 years back, one of the Titus Ad has this classic phrase. "Don't bother if there is everlasting love, just treasure the moment while it lasts."

I'm feeling sad that why love nowadays love has become so fragile that it could only last for a moment. Cant't help but to agree with Tes that it really seems that nothing seems to last forever. Even the most loving couple you see, could divorce after 2 or 10 years later when they realise that it is a "mistake" in a first place.

Is it a mistake in the first place or it is just an excuse to end off this relationship quickly?

Am I expect too much from a relationship? I just want to be loved by him at all times... Just a simple request, yet it seems so hard to be reached...

Perhaps it is best to be single ba. At least, I know I will be loved by my family and friends.

21 April, 2007

Massacre at Virginia Tech

When we heard about this news, we immediately made a long distance call to my aunty Lyn to find if my cousin is alright. He was sent there for his student exchange programme in Virginia Tech University. With god's blessing, he was safe during that firing. Like many, I have glued to the tv, online news about this tragedy happened.

"Cho Seung Hui, aged 23, korean student shot 32 professors and students and he sent a multimedia package consisting of videos, pictures and a disturbing statement to NBC in between his two bouts of shooting in which he tried to explain his actions."

I couldn't help but feeling media and technology has played an important role in our society. Within such a short period of time, this gunman could easily send out his package to the media, which has shocked the whole world.

The US people should really look into the root cause of the problem and not starting pointing fingers at one another.

I have heard people saying that they should keep the guns from the people. If that person has the evil intention, there is no way you could stop him from doing what he wanted to do. We are just making the "gun" as a scapegoat, thus diverting our attention to the much greater problems facing in the society.

Wouldn't our energy be better spent trying to build a more supportive community, diffusing anger in the society, becoming stewards of peace, and building a better response infrastructure? I think we are doing a disservice by placing blame on a metal tool. Knives could hurt people too, are we going to stop using them from now onwards???

Perhaps the Americans should try looking at themselves, and others, and how they treat each other. Nearly all the school shootings comes from US, the aggressor has been someone who has been bullied, or looked down upon, or not acknowledged.

This is what causes these people to go into isolation, and become loners. This is where they're thoughts to themselves only replay the ways they are treated, and hurt. This is what drives them to want to seek revenge, and try to give themselves power. It's a final release and vindication.

My heart goes out to all those who have suffered loss in this incident. This painful lesson should be taken seriously and should not be seen as another horrible shooting case.

20 April, 2007

Flash Animation

My company sent me flash animation course for two days. The course structure seems all right and best of all, it teaches actionscripts, which I had not much experience in it.

I was late for the course due to the traffic jam in the morning. The instructor is kinda friendly and quite helpful. He is quite organised in his teaching. Follow step-by-step but make it interesting in his way. The problem with me was I had too high expectations for this course. I had already known 90% of the topics that he taught. Even the actionscripts, it is too simple for me. My expectation was to learn those cool, difficult animations and advanced flash scripting.

I guessed I had attended the wrong course. Through this course, I realised that either I attend advanced actionscript flash course, which is a faster way of learning or self taught and improved through practising and trial and error.

There are two lecturers who had no flash background; therefore they are kinda slow in doing all the exercises. They asked strange questions like, why cant use excels to do and that. They forgot that they are attending Flash Animation course not Microsoft Excel course. The most irritating part was they moved in and out of the class causing a bit of disturbance...

One of the lecturers showed us a "great" website, I saw totally fainted... I looked at him with horrified look and saw the same look on his face too haha... the colors are yucky and too many inappropriate animations around the website. That instructor is kind enough not to hurt lecturer, replied that is not really a good website, there are much more better websites around.

Perhaps both of us are designers, we hit off quite well. During the breaks, he told me he was a fashion designer, however he likes designing and animation a lot, that's why he switched to a web designer but kinda tired with the hectic life. He switched to be a lecturer for 6 years. He might be going back to England after his contract has ended.

At the end of the course, he reminds me that fundamentals are still very important to be a professional flash animator. He shared with me two actionscript books that I could read up and he is willing to help if I faced any problems in scripting in future :) Perhaps I had gained another good mentor in the whole entire course haha...

19 April, 2007

Bird of Paradise

Find this plant special and unique? It has a very strong attraction towards me that I can't missed this plant along the roadsides, gardens and parks. I want to become like this plant, a person with strong character. In the past, I only know the chinese name "Tian Tang Niao" but unaware of it's english name. Siew told me this plant is called "Bird of Paradise".

Went to internet to research more on this plant.
"Strelitzia reginae is a monocotyledonous flowering plant indigenous to South Africa. Common names include Strelitzia, Crane Flower or Bird of Paradise"

The plant grows to 2 m tall, with large, strong leaves 25-70 cm long and 10-30 cm broad, produced on petioles up to 1 m long. The leaves are evergreen and arranged in two ranks, making a fan-shaped crown.

The flowers stand above the foliage at the tips of long stalks. The hard, beak-like sheath from which the flower emerges is termed the spathe. This is placed perpendicular to the stem, which gives it the appearance of a bird's head and beak; it makes a durable perch for holding the sunbirds which pollinate the flowers.

The flowers, which emerge one at a time from the spathe, consist of three brilliant orange sepals and three purplish-blue petals. Two of the blue petals are joined together to form an arrow-like nectary. When the sunbirds sit to drink the nectar, the petals open to cover their feet in pollen.

The meaning of this plant is Freedom, Magnificence, Good perspective."

I love freedom, that's the reason why I have this special likings for this plant :)

18 April, 2007

Ministers' High Pay

There is a huge controversy going on about ministers' high pay. I'm sick and tired to read articles relating to this. I think it is meaningless to argue why ministers are earning so much. I don't really care how much the ministers have earned. I think they have done a fairly good job, at least Singapore is still considered a safe country for now. I just felt that Singapore ministers have becoming more and more aggressive, where has the democracy gone to? No longer as simple as they used to be.

True, some ministers are born with silver spoon but others have earned so much that is because they have learnt to use their brain wisely... That's how rich people get richer and poor people get poorer... Some poor people always like to blame rich people for being rich but not knowing how to change their mindset and try looking for other alternatives... They always blame themselves and other people for not helping them... But they never realised that they are the ones should be changing...

I always believe only the strongest will survive in any kind of environment... We need to wait for opportunity, see it and capitalise on it. Don't work for money, let the money work for you and the returns will be triple fold...

On the other hand, I also can't help but to think what is the hidden agenda behind this releasing of ministers' high pay. Why does the government want to know let his civilians that they are getting such a high pay... Don't tell me that we are in a democratic society; don't talk to us like we are 3-year-old kids. The hidden agenda could be they want to have that 20% more increment in their payroll.

I felt that every time they want to do something "funny", they will released some bad information first, then they will say that it is because of the people. Start to give us incentives to pacify the nation. I'm sure they already knew how people will be react strongly against it. They just want to do it because they knew that Singaporeans have no say in every decisions they made. Singaporeans will just simply complain and move on with our life. Whether is really because of the nation, only their "self-conscious" will know it.

Common' money is never enough in a greed's man eyes. We all know that. If the ministers sincerely want to help the nation, don't talk to us about their own pay increment, don't talk to us that increase of GST every now and then, don't talk about increasing the "quality of life" when its own people are struggling and worried if their tiny little "cashew nut" pay is enough for them to survive. Stop doing all the "good deeds" only when they need votings for the coming election. Don't talk about democracy to us when they only allow us to speak "politically correct" answers and speeches at the Speakers' Corners.

Because we are not blind, we have sharp eyes to see!

17 April, 2007

Stick by the rules?

I accompanied my mum to my cousin's place because it's my youngest nephew's first month birthday. On our way to her house, we were stuck along Lor Chuan Road because there was an minor accident. A car just accidentally hit the motorbike. The victim seemed okay, he was just resting at the side of the pathway. The motorbike was at the other side of the lane. If the lady bus driver detour abit, The bus should be able to move past the accident area.

The problem is the lady bus driver refused to do that because the bus company policy says so. This has created a big "hoo-har" because it was clearly seen that she was sticking by the company rules. Of course, all the uncles and aunties stood up and scolded her.. while some try to persuade her..

No means no...

This has forced some people to alight from the bus. My mum and I had no choice but to wait because this was the only bus route that was able to reach my cousin's place. This has caused a heavy traffic jam. Luckily, there were some kind souls got out of the bus and made some traffic directions so that the cars were able to move..

We waited and waited... Finally after 30 mins, our "life saver" finally managed to turned up. He just moved the motorbike at the side. And the traffic condition was resumed.

I find this whole incident is so silly...
Why do we need to wait for a Traffic Police to move the bike to the side? Traffic Police station is just right at the corner, the ambulance come within 10 mins and why does it takes him to reach there in 30 mins?

16 April, 2007

Follower Vs Thinker

My friend shared with me her bad experience during one of her job interview. The job is a clerical position. Her interviewer asked her would she want a secretary position if there were a vacancy? (Her qualification is good enough to be a secretary.) She simply answers yes. And guess what? She did not get the job.

Her friend went to find out why she did not get the job. The interviewer said that she should not answer yes because she hasn’t even start working and she wants to climb up already.

But if there is a better position, of course you will want it right? So it is wrong to be ambitious??? The political correct answer is "Yes, i would love to be a secretary but I can do any jobs at any point in time." <- This is what the interviewer wants to hear. So it is wrong to be so straightforward. This is so stupid and silly. People only want to listen what they want to hear! Anyway, we concluded that this interviewer just want a follower and not a thinker.

Isn't it better to be a thinker than a follower? A follower will just follow boss's instruction and deliver the job. A thinker will bother to take his own initiatives to help his boss to think further. The results will come out differently.

I used to be a follower but after so many years, being a follower is not good enough, you will just be under people's control all the time. If you are under a good boss, you will learn and grow. He may even groom you to be a leader.

But think about this, if you are under a lousy boss, you will be learning all the wrong things and adopting all his bad teachings and bad decisions or worse of all you get all shit jobs and blames...

A good boss will rope you in and groom you.
A lousy boss will throw you in the sea and watch you drown.

Whether you want to be a follower or a thinker, it is your choice... and I have chose mine...

15 April, 2007

I'm just too sick and bored

I still feel sick despite i slept well, eating all the medicines and water that im supposed to drink. I even give up going to my field trip to Ji Long Si Temple (100 yrs old Bodhi Tree & Temple). The medicine makes me so lethargic and weak! The rain makes me feeling even more lousier :(

         
            I'm Just Too Bored :(           I Want To Go Out!

         
                  A apple a day                    A carrot a day
      keeps all my boredom away  keeps all my viruses away


  Stop playing with our Zhu Zai!           It's time to bathe le:)

"Tor-long Tor-long, please let me quickly recover!" Okay, I'm just too bored... I want to go out and play!!!

14 April, 2007

Importing Music

Was listening to my chinese albums tonight. Heard this nice song and sang with it... Forgot that im still having sore throat.

OMG, I think im losing my voice :( urgh... Anyway, just want to share with you which nice song that makes me lost my voice once again :p

Wo_Yi_Zhi_Dou_Zhai...

Importing Video Clips

Have been sick for almost a week, captured 4 deadly viruses: sore throat, cough. flu and fever. Ate all different kind of medicines, Chinese and Ang Mo prescriptions and try to rested well. Okay, I shall be a good girl for this weekend ONLY. Hopefully can fully recovered and enjoyed my Penang trip with Tes.

I have rested too well until I don't feel like sleeping at all. Trying to doing something to kill my time. An idea pops up. I could import video clips into my blog. At least it is something new to me keke.

Saw this cute and mindless MapleStory Movie, trying to play it in my blog. Spend a few minutes figuring out. Thank god that it is not as difficult as i thought keke... Hope MapleStory game could be in 3D graphics in future. The user systems and network platform must be able to support it so that it will not serious lag time problem. That will be so cool rite, my dear maple fans? Waiting... waiting... waiting...

13 April, 2007

Starry, Starry Night

Starry, starry night,
across the clear blue sky
Reaching out my hands,
For I've touched the beautiful sky.




Always like the feeling of glazing stars in the sky. Imagine I'm able to capture the beautiful aspects of the sky through photography using long-term exposures. What if one day I'm able to view and capture meteor rain with my love one. That will be quite cool and interesting :) OMG, I must be dreaming in my world again keke :p

A friend of mine send me this link, a link to Canon 20D. This camera could do astrophotography. Never thought that photography could actually capture astrology.

Useful for Recording Celestial Phenomenon
"At a glance the stars in the night sky look as if they never alter, but occasionally they exhibit very interesting celestial phenomena. When the sun is hidden by the moon and a complete solar eclipse makes it dark during the day; when a comet suddenly appears trailing a long tail; when there is a shower of shooting stars falling like rain; those who have gazed at sights like these are surely left with unforgettable memories. So we want to leave a visual memory of these celestial phenomena that will be passed down to future generations."

12 April, 2007

True Love

Tes was sharing with me about how to differentiate between true love and romantic love. She said how would you feel if your love one decided to leave you one day? Imagine you have found a letter and he wrote that he fall in love with your best friend and they want to be together. How will you feel?

If your answer is hurt and betrayed, it is just a romantic love.
However if your answer is you will continue to bless them and give them the blessing, that is true love.

I can't help but thinking about my past love relationships. Over the two relationships, I guess both are just romantic love. True love is selfless love, no matter how much hurt and sadness he/she has given you, you will still continue to love and give him/her your blessings. Not many people can achieve it. Old people always say true love is hard to get.

I wonder if there is true love really exists or it just happens in our own fairy tales...

11 April, 2007

Sprained ankle

On Monday night, i sprained my ankle at AMK Japanese restaurant. They had a poorly constructed platform. The chair is placed very near to the edge. As I was standing up, I lost my foothold and fell down onto the floor. It is the same old injury. It has been a few years since I last sprained my ankle. I told myself not to get any injuries anymore. But sometimes things just happened again.

I was rather angry and upset by the restaurant. I wanted to scream at them. Ironically, I was reading a book about controlling our own anger. Losing our own anger, we have already lost half of the battle.

Strangely, I did not scream at them. However, all the waiter and waitresses felt bad and apologetic. One of the waiter rushed in to make ice pack and started to rub my swollen ankle. After 10 mins, I felt better with my swollen ankle.

One of the waiters tells me that they have highlighted to their boss about this issue already and the boss had some intention of doing some renovation to the shop. Which means there is some accident happened before and til now they have not done anything about it yet.

After thinking back, if I have been more careful and wasn't thinking about something in my head, I wouldn't have got myself injured at all.

Tes injured her right elbow during her exercising, I still laughed at her. I injured my left ankle, she says it is my "bao yin". We are really best of pals. We both injured on the same day ah :P

10 April, 2007

Don't be a perfectionist

"Don't be a perfectionist." Always reminded by my manager.

A colleague asked me to send me a higher resolution company logo for one of the websites. When I look at the website, I almost fainted. The logo was hidding at the right hand side of the corner. I could not even see the logo when i login the website until i search for it.

The logo size need for the logo is 110x59 pixel. Spoke to the IT engineer, he said that the website structure cannot be modified. Hello, you think i'm 3 year old kid ah, I have been in web industry for more than 5 years. Why website structure cannot be modified? Websites have the flexibility to do anything, it is the matter whether the engineer wants to do it or not.

Since they are so ridge, then there is nothing i can do about it. I sent an email to his boss to tell him that IT Engineer claim that the website structure could not be modified thus they have to just make do with the small and low resolution logo!

We have to let our corp comms to approve all our corporate logos. Our Corp Comms Manager called me up and asked me why the logo has to be this small size and it appear to be so ugly.

I explain to her about the whole situation. She just said,"Your side always do things on your own. Since everyone has their own systems then don't need to follow the guidelines." Then she hung up.

She doesn't listen to my explaination correctly. This problem is not I created by me. The system is so ridge until that it can only restricted the logo to that amount of size. Out of goodness, I highlighted the problem and now she thinks that I never follow the guideline.

I shall let my manager handle this.

09 April, 2007

The story of the 2 bad bricks

I really like this story that Tes has shared with me. Hope that you have different perspective about yourself.

Due to lack of funds, the monk has to DIY the construction of the temple themselves. Anyway, this monk (the author) after studying around, started to construct a brickwall. Patiently, aligning each and every brick to make it perfect. Slow and steady. Everything seems great. Until the end, when he looked at it. Oh no, 2 bricks were mis-aligined and it spoiled the whole wall!! Bad wall!!! Wanted to pull down the wall, but the abbot refuses to.

Whenever visitors came, the monk would try to avoid this particular wall, cause it's ugly. Until one day, a visitor made a remark "that's a nice wall u got there!!" THe monk was surprised. And yes, it's a great wall. There's 998 good bricks and only 2 ugly bricks. THe ones above, below, left, right of the ugly bricks were all good bricks. So why do we keep "staring" at the bad bricks and forget the rest of the good bricks. And it's a good wall afterall. Let's not demolish the good wall, just because of 2 bad bricks. it's a waste.

Everyone has their bad bricks, but we shd not just concentrate on them, coz we have many more good bricks within us. Start to look at the good bricks....

My thoughts: I'm a perfectionist... i only look at my own flaws more than my virtues... So that i can improve on it and become a better person. Friends always tell me I'm a nice person and you have great personality but that is because they haven't see my flaws yet.

Always wanted to be someone's perfect girl. Losing my own character to suit everyone and make myself to become a barbie doll. At the end of day, is it what I really wanted??? I guess not...

Love me for who I am...

08 April, 2007

Believe it or not?

Do you believe strange things will happen after a person dies?

My sister dreamt that my nephew passed away just before he died on Sunday. My mum is an emotional woman. She scared she could not take the grieving so she did not go for the last day of the funeral.

She stayed at home that day and she told me that she saw a bird standing on our window frame. It is soaking with water and shaking tremerously, and she tried to chase it away for the first time. It flew away and it came back. She did it the 2nd and 3rd time, it came back. She has no choice but to close the window.

After awhile, she starts to relate that it could be my nephew's soul. That day was a fine weather, this was her first time she saw a wet bird, in soaking condition and it behaved abnormal.

My sister's friend told my sister that her father-in-law "came back" on the 7th of the day. Because the brand new toothpaste has been pressed when no one used it yet. Sounds creepy right?

There is a myth saying the soul will return in another form. It could be a moth or a bird or maybe just a spirit.

I guess there is nothing to be afraid about, afterall it is your own family coming back into the house. If you never do anything harm to the deceased, there is no need to be afraid. Sometimes humans are more scarier than spirits.

07 April, 2007

Kent Ridge Park

Went photography shooting with Siew. Somehow I just don't have the mood to do it. I just feel like lazing around, blank my mind and enjoy the scenery.

Normally, I will just walked around the surrounding and I feel for it. So it will take some time to get myself "warm". Don't know why I was extremely slow in "warming up" today. Siew finished taking all her shots then I started to have the mood. She has no choice but to wait for me for a while.

I was playing my new camera during our lunch. I was impressed by the mirco-zoom feature, it could go as close as 5cm. I suddenly felt so energized and start taking photos at Kent Ridge Park. It has nice views, nice trees and nice canopy.

The sky was pretty dark. We thought the rain was on its way. Luckily Siew was wearing her "sunshine girl". In the end, all the dark clouds moved away. See her sunshine girl is so powerful rite hahaha :)

Came back home with sun burnt and mosquitoes bitesss but I think I would want to go back to Kent Ridge Park again :)


                 Broken Fan                          Finger Leaves


            
                    Seeing Double                Red Candles


            
                     Baby Womb                  Crystal Weed

            
                      Up the hill...             Into the woods...

06 April, 2007

Being stubborn or just judgemental

A friend sent me a blog about being subborn or just being judgemental. She wrote pretty long blog article but I have extracted some parts of it.

"STUBBORN means unyielding, inflexible, difficult to control, handle or manage. Calling others as stubborn is just meaning that perhaps you do not know that person well, you just simply assuming. Well, most of the time we are labeled as stubborn. How many times have you been told this? "Don't be stubborn, I know you better than you know yourself." "You are such a stubborn person" "Why don't you listen, why are you so stubborn?"

The list goes on. We often think that we are one stubborn idiot, or is it because we are told so many times that we BELIEVE that we are. I have to resent to it. NO, I DON'T THINK SO. I am what I am (although we all get confused or lost at times), but we don't need you to tell us who we are."

I had my own views and thoughts.
If we are living in our own world, it is perfectly to be stubborn and thinking in our own ways, or even being selfish. Sad to say, sometimes life doesnt allow us to be stubborn and do it in our way.

There is "a set of rules" to be follow. Different people have different mindsets, morale values and different ways of doing things. What you think maybe "right", may/may not be right in other people eyes.

For working relationship, perhaps we can start lookin at other people perspectives and they could be right at times, even though you may not see them in the first place. See them with an open mind and eyes.

For relationship, I guess what we can do is to learn how to respect each other and live with it. If you fall in love so deeply because of each other differences then why the differences have become an obsticle at the end of the sour relationship?

There is no perfect relationship. Only love and commitments can conquer it. If you believed that this relationship will work, it will work it out eventually...

05 April, 2007

Unpro Photoshoot Saga Continues...

I was complaining to my manager about the unpro photoshoot. Show her the photos and she said this series of photos need to be reshoot again. That unpro "photographer" told us that he found a professional photographer for us with studio settings. Sounds great isn't it?

However, we need to provide our own props and have to go down to the place. My colleagues and me feel weird because why do we have to prepare our own "props"? Anyway, we just prepare and go there.

Just to recap the problems that we faced in previous shooting.
Problem 1: Lack of models so I become the "Stand-In" Model.
Problem 2: All props such as pen, organiser, laptop, need to be self-sustained.
Problem 3: We could not find a good conference room. End up have to make do with ugly room. Wrong backdrop + Wrong lightings = Wrong feelings
Problem 4: Photographer has shaky hands and he doesn't bring his tripod.

For today shooting:
Solution 1: We have sufficient models.
Solution 2: We still need to provide our own props.
Solution 3: We still could not find a good conference room, not to mention about "proper" studio.
Solution 4: Found 2 Photographers to do the job

Although we still could not find the proper conference room, but having a photographer, does play an important role. At least, the photos are slightly more professionally taken, despite the lousy settings.

I like working with the first photographer. I show him what I want and he takes his own initiative and creative eye to find the angle that he wants. However, he has another assignment so he asked another photographer to take over this job.

The 2nd photographer just does exactly what I wanted but somehow I feel that he is just follow by the book. When I asked him to free play with different directions and angles. He looked at me as if I'm an alien. He just couldn't visualise what I wanted. The photos turns out to be boring and "safe" photos.

Almost have the urge to take over his camera and shoot haha but I know it will be very rude and he will feel very insulted :p

04 April, 2007

Nice Surprise

Hasn't been sleeping well lately. I suspected could be my lousy pillow causing the problem. Told my buddy about my sleepless nights. He said he has a few good pillows at his place. Don't want to be alone at night so i asked him if i can go and get one of the pillows from him, and also finding back my 2 cds which i lent him long, long time ago.

It has been few years back since i went to his place. His room is still the same since i recall, with an extra cupboard to put his stuffs. Full of CD albums in 9 cd boxes... It is really hard to find my cds... i still could not find my cds in the end, but it's okay lah... Sometimes the more you want to find them, the more you could not find them. The cds will come out by themselves one fine day keke... For the time being, I "kapo" a few cds from him keke...

That day, we went for photoshoot. He took some photos of me. He has an idea to place my photos into one. I was looking quite fat and messy hair in those photos loh. Anyway, I taught him how to use photoshop to crop my ugly photo out and he printed it out. I was complaining to him that this is a bad photo. He says it is because the teacher is not good. *Faint*

It was raining heavily, I could not go back. While waiting for the rain to stop, I was listening to one of music albums. It is such a comfy and relaxing feeling. Almost fell asleep until my buddy stepped into the room.

After i reached home, I'm surprised that he actually put that photo in my bag. It is a nice surprise... I think I beginning to like that bad photo :)

03 April, 2007

Life is so strange

I was griefing over my nephew's death when my friend sms me that i can finally go down to the shop to collect my dream camera le. Perhaps it is such a long wait. Yah, collected my camera. But I do not have the excitement feeling nor the mood to be excited.

Life is so strange. When god takes away something precious from you, they will replace something back to you. If that's the case, i rather not to collect my camera. I know this is an absurb remark... anyway, I know we still needs to move on... Just let me grief for a few days, and pick myself back again...

What turns around, comes around... Everything happens for a reason. Only god knows why it happens...

02 April, 2007

Farewell, my nephew

My heart saddens when I heard my nephew has passed away. No miracles have happen despite all the things we have done for him. He passed away with a peaceful smile. May he finds peace in heaven.

Farewell, my fun loving nephew...

01 April, 2007

Freedom vs Being attached

Went to White Link today. My friend needs to choose her wedding gown. Helping her to choose the gowns. She tried a couple of them until we zoomed down to 2 designs. One plain white but elegant while another one is "loud" golden wedding gown. All of us think that the gold color gown is beautiful but she prefers white gown. After all, she is the star of the day and not us.

My mind starts to wonder of being attached/married. If I ever get attached once again, I might be losing all my freedom in life. That is scary... I loves freedom. If someone tries to control me, I will want to run further away from him.

Being attached is a scary thought for me... Perhaps twice bitten, thrice shy. I'm not sure whether if the next one who comes across my life, will he be the right guy for me, or is he just a passbyer in my life.

I can picture myself having a happy marriage life. But how close can i get to my "idealistic" marriage? I really don't know. He could love me for 5 years and after that, he could be leaving me when he no longer feels love.

Call me a coward, I'm scared to be in love again.